Joke Time

zom247

zom247

zom247

Soldato
Joined
29 Sep 2004
Posts
3,306
Location
Wilt of the Shire
1st joke post in here but after reading some of the jokes posted here thought I'd try my hand.

Here goes:

Why do women carry a dust pan & brush with them in their car?

To clean up all the debris from the accidents they cause.

I know it's not brilliant, I think it's more of an 8 pinter (3 for you students) ;)
 
I think I'd have to drink through one of these to get that.

493229786da0f1f63f.jpg
 
zom247 said:
1st joke post in here but after reading some of the jokes posted here thought I'd try my hand.

Here goes:

Why do women carry a dust pan & brush with them in their car?

To clean up all the debris from the accidents they cause.

I know it's not brilliant, I think it's more of an 8 pinter (3 for you students) ;)
Click to expand...

what the hell? Terrible!


Why did the Lion get lost?

Because JUNGLE IS MASSIVE!!
 
A guy is standing in a bar drinking when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at 10:30 the second guy says, "Oh well, I better get home. My wife doesn't like me to stay out late drinking."

The first guy replies, "That is because you aren't doing it right. You should do what I do. Go home. Sneak in the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs and lick, lick, lick usually about twenty minutes and there will not be any complaints in the morning.

The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with the other guy for about two more hours before heading home to give it a try.

When he got home, the house was pitch black. He snuck upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for twenty minutes. The bed was like a swamp, so he decided to go wash his face. As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet.

He screamed, "What are you doing in here?!"

"Quiet!" she exclaimed. "You'll wake my mother."
 
^LOL. :D

Tampax have been unveiled as a new sponsor for Tiger Woods in 2010 a spokesman for Tampax has released the following statement "We feel that supporting a **** in trouble is what our brand is all about."
 
zom247 said:
1st joke post in here but after reading some of the jokes posted here thought I'd try my hand.

Here goes:

Why do women carry a dust pan & brush with them in their car?

To clean up all the debris from the accidents they cause.

I know it's not brilliant, I think it's more of an 8 pinter (3 for you students) ;)
Click to expand...

You need to be taken outside and repeatedly punched in the face.
 
SlyReaper said:
Lions don't live in jungles...
Click to expand...

If he knew the area, he wouldn't get lost. The savannah's pretty huge too, but lions are accustomed to the terrain and it's not a pun. Clearly, he's in unfamiliar territory.

What's the best thing about having alzheimer's?

You're always meeting new people.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom