Joke time.

[PardonTheWait]

So, I hear that Garry Glitter has moved to Chile.

He heard it is the only place in the world where you can slide a minor up and down your shaft and get a round of applause.

*Takes a bow, gets coat, doffs cap and leaves.*

Thread saved!

Also, facebooked and claimed as my own

 

[Maccy]

Wow there's a lot of ban-worthy jokes...

 

[MobyDick]

Is it worth reading that long joke? I might print it out and read it in bed...

 

[Megahurtz400]

Is it worth reading that long joke? I might print it out and read it in bed...

Deffo, best joke ive ever read!!

 

[MobyDick]

They both the same joke btw. Just word counted them in Word...

 

[vintage-x]

what do the films the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common??


Icy Dead people


*runs fast

 

[Fuzz]

It was the happiest day of my life.
Arrived at Church,
Wife waiting at the Altar
Walked up the Isle
Kissed her on the cheek
Smiled,
and closed the lid

 

[Fuzz]

Just got back from the world erection championships.
I managed to reach the semi's

 

[Fuzz]

My girlfriend has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger...
She'll be back

 

[Fuzz]

Police came to my front door last night holding a picture of the Mrs,
They said "Is this your wife Sir?"
Shocked I answered "Yes"
They said "I'm afraid she's been in a car accident"
I said "I know, but she has a lovely personality"

 

[Tonyator]

Oh crap, my computer uses U.S. English.
I wanted to 'save' the document but accidentally blew it up.

 

[Deadbeat]

I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's

What's the best thing about having alzheimer's?

You're always meeting new people.

*Hides*

 

[Vonhelmet]

My girlfriend has just left me for Arnold Schwarzenegger...
She'll be back

Amazing!

 

[mingeroonie]

Few smirks from scubascorpion, but the OP fails

 

[Combat squirrel]

A few I recently heard:

A duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said "Don't do it man, you will never hear the end of it!"


Dear Mary,

Just admit you slept with somebody else, this is getting out of hand,

Yours,

Joseph


Just bought the wife some pants from liverpool FC club shop, sound investment, two yanks and there down

 

[danza]

It was the happiest day of my life.
Arrived at Church,
Wife waiting at the Altar
Walked up the Isle
Kissed her on the cheek
Smiled,
and closed the lid

 

[Fuzz]

My Girlfriend doesn't like my new aftershave "Chloroform"
Apparently it makes her sleepy and gives her a sore arse.

 

[neil3k]

gtfo

 

[JayMax]

Scientists have just discovered an ancient fossilised jawbone, believed to be half a million years old. Tests have confirmed it belonged to a female, as it was still moving.

 

[PapaLazaru]

Scientists have just discovered an ancient fossilised jawbone, believed to be half a million years old. Tests have confirmed it belonged to a female, as it was still moving.

Did you get that by text today because a mate sent it to me about two hours ago?