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Joke = Win?
- Thread starter Talbs13
- Start date
A man is sitting in a laundrette, reading the paper minding his own...
When suddenly, the door bursts open and a pakistani man is being chased by 15 white guys, who promptly beat seven bells out of him...
The man, looks over his paper, says nothing, and carrys on reading.
Later on, when the police officer is taking witness statements, after he was finished, he puts his clipboard down and says to the man
"Didn't you think about...y'know...helping out at all?"
He replied "Well, I considered it....but thought 15 was enough"
*orders taxi*
When suddenly, the door bursts open and a pakistani man is being chased by 15 white guys, who promptly beat seven bells out of him...
The man, looks over his paper, says nothing, and carrys on reading.
Later on, when the police officer is taking witness statements, after he was finished, he puts his clipboard down and says to the man
"Didn't you think about...y'know...helping out at all?"
He replied "Well, I considered it....but thought 15 was enough"
*orders taxi*
Soldato
- Joined
- 23 Nov 2009
- Posts
- 6,041
- Location
- North Leicestershire
ooof
FAIL.
The joke is meant to be:
An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling.
“I’ve never been better!” he replies. “I’ve got an 18-year-old bride Who’s pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?”
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, “Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy Who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his shotgun.”
“So he’s in the woods,” the doctor continues, “and suddenly a giant beaver appears in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver, and squeezes the handle. Two loud bangs ring out and the beaver drops dead in front of him.” turning to the old man, "What do you think about that?”
“I'd say somebody else fired a couple of shots into that beaver.” the old man said.
The doctor replied, “Exactly.”
This is funny, but not for the reason you think.
Roared in pain at that one.
My work mate just sent me this, it's a bit long but worth it I feel:
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don' forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree! "
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree...
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush..."
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don' forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon... ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree! "
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree...
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush..."