2 Nov 2004
A guy is driving around Dublin when he sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks. Yes," the Lab replies. "So, what's the story?" The Lab looks up and says: "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the Garda about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running." "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in." "I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten euros," the man says. "Ten euros? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that ****”
18 Oct 2003
Kick punch its all in the mind
if you want to test me im sure youll find
things to teach ya
sure to beat ya
nevertheless to get a lesson from teacher now Kick cbs..
21 Sep 2005
Bradley Stoke, Bristol
monkeypants said:


still a good joke though :)
14 Jul 2003
Just been told these two:

One for the ladies:

What do snow and sex have in common?

You don't know when your getting any, how long it will last and how many inches you'll get.

One for everyone:

Donkey and a chicken are walking in a farmers field one afternoon when the donkey falls down a huge hole.

"Help!" shouts the donkey to the chicken.
"Don't worry, I'll be right back!" replies the chicken, who then runs off to the farmers house, takes his car keys to his Z5 and drives to the hole. There he takes a rope, ties it to the front of the car and hands it down to the donkey, reverses and pulls him free.

A few weeks later, donkey is walking through the same field on his morning stroll and hears the chicken shouting from the hole.
"Donkey! Donkey! I went out on the town last night, got drunk and forgot about this hole! help me please!"

Donkey stares at the chicken, then lowers his massive manhood into the hole , chicken holds onto this as donkey walks backwards dragging him free of his earthy prison.

You don't need a BMW to pull a chick if your well endowed.

Sorry, i'll get my coat :(
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