Joke

A husband and wife are watching Who Wants To Be a Millionaire and the husband winks and says, "Honey, let's go upstairs..."

The wife says no, so the husband asks again. Again she says no.

So the husband says, "Is that your final answer?" The wife says yes.

The husband says, "Well, can I phone a friend?"
 
Well I got myself downstairs this morning to find my wife stood there frying the breakfast in her slippers.

"You idiot" I shouted, "why didn't you use a frying pan?!!"
 
Used to love a Benny Hill sketch where they're discussing fashion
Woman: Men, wouldn't you like to see your girlfriend in something long and flowing this summer?

Benny: Yea, like a river!
 
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