Last night...

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After Tottenham's crap start to the season, a Spurs fan went to White Hart Lane and nailed his season ticket to the gates in disgust. He went back the next morning after having a change of heart only to find some **** had nicked the nail
 
Did you hear that Juande Ramos was clocked doing 169mph on the M1 coming back from Stoke? Apparently he was just so desperate for three points.
 
A little boy gets £10 for his birthday and rushes down to the sports shop to buy a football he desparately wanted. He gets a ball down from the rack and hands over his tenner to the shopkeeper. " Sorry son this ball is £20" replies the shopkeeper. Thinking quickly on his feet the boy looks up at all the different footballs on the rack and tells the shopkeeper "Ok, if you blindfold me and I guess which club's crest is on the ball, will you let me have the ball for £10?". Amused, the shopkepper agrees and duly blindfolds the boy and hands him the first ball which happens to be Arsenal.

"Ok" says the boy putting the ball to his ear."I can hear the sounds of two blasting cannons...This ball is Arsenal".

"That was a lucky guess" replied the shopkeeper. "Let me try you with another" and hands the boy a West Ham ball.

"Ah with this one I can hear the noise of loud Hammers...This is a West Ham ball." "Good grief, I can't believe it" said the shopkeeper to the boy. "Alright then, if you get this next one right I'll let you have the football for nothing."

The shopkeeper reaches up to the rack and hands the boy a Tottenham ball. The boy again puts the ball to his ear before exclaiming "This ball is Tottenham.."

"My God" says the shopkeeper. "How on earth did you know the ball was Tottenham..I suppose you must have heard a cockerel crowing" replied the shopkeeper.

"No.." said the boy..."This one’s going down!"
 
lol, I just saw a post on footie365, not a joke one but this is a laughing at Spurs thread so figured best in here.

30 games left, if they win 1/3 of the games left they would still only have 32 points. They are realistically looking at needing probably 8 wins AND 7 or 8 draws, out of 30 games. They still have 9 games against the top 4 to go aswell which on current form they have very little chance of winning(yes I know they drew with Chelsea).

SO in reality they need 10 wins, or a couple less wins and a bunch of draws to be in with a chance of staying up, they've already lost or failed to beat a bunch of the bottom teams in the league and ignoring top 4 games they only have 21 games in which to do this. They're looking at winning 50% of those 21 games and even if they do that now, they could still go down.

Last year Fulham stayed up on 36 points on goal difference while Reading went down with 36 points. Spurs in 11th last year also only won 11 games and drew 13.

Now the question really is, did Derby have 2 or more points by this time last year?


EDIT:_ I guess this did turn into a joke, Derby had 6 points by this date last season.

The real danger comes for them from the fact that, come January if they still aren't winning, firstly, who the hell can they bring in who would agree to come in. Secondly, they'll be spunking 15mil in firing Ramos and paying out his contract, and probably a big payout to get shot of Comoli to, so a third of that 70mil they made will dissappear, added to half the players leaving for cut down prices and having to buy half a new squad if they do get relegated. If they haven't won 5 game by January the board might well be sensible by assuming they are getting relegated and not wasting money on bolstering the squad.

I doubt they will do that badly, but what are the odds that Spurs will finish with less than Derby's 11 points now, worth a punt?
 
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30 games left, if they win 1/3 of the games left they would still only have 32 points. They are realistically looking at needing probably 8 wins AND 7 or 8 draws, out of 30 games. They still have 9 games against the top 4 to go aswell which on current form they have very little chance of winning(yes I know they drew with Chelsea).

30 games left and they have 9games against the top4?
;)
 
30 games left and they have 9games against the top4?
;)

Well the guy who pointed these numbers out isn't talking about ARsenal, pool, Chelski and Man U, but more those competing for the top 4 I guess, which includes maybe an extra side or two in there, a Villa, or hell, even Hull might be up there. Infact, taking those 6 teams, and the 3 games they've played(hull, villa and chelski) that would leave 9 games for genuine top 4 contenders. Ok more realistically, 4 top 3 contenders(arse, chelski, Man u and Pool) and (arse, pool, hull and villa competing for 4th).

I for one would be surprised to see Liverpool not drop games considering their performances so far, surprised to see Man U not move up strongly and I wouldn't be suprised(without serious injury) to see Hull still up there when you consider how they've actually played their football and how good their manager is.
 
So last night me and some mates were playing Scrabble and I had enough letters to make 'Tottenham Hotspur Football Club'.

I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points

Where are all your jokes now you been missing for a few days wonder why

:D:D
 
Now, now RizL4

You're not one to talk about disappearing are you

Shall we find your "Spurs will finish in the top 4" thread or how about "Ledley King is the best DC in the League"

I noticed you disappeared quite quickly when it all went Pete Tong
 
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