Lets write a book

fail at the internets · 6 Aug 2008 at 22:31

Steedie said:
"I WOULD LOVE IT IF WE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS BOOK, LOVE IT"

Unfortunatley, Herin was a Sunderland fan so smashed his face in with his new wireless keyboard, all that remained was

A half eaten tub of marmite.

Marky · 6 Aug 2008 at 22:33

fail at the internets said:
A half eaten tub of marmite.

Hiren turned on the radio and Chris Moyles shouted...

Greenlizard0 · 6 Aug 2008 at 22:35

Marky said:
Hiren turned on the radio and Chris Moyles shouted...

"There is no woman on this planet, who is slimmer than me and has bigger natural breasts".

"Weird" thought Hiren, but certainly not unsual for the part of the world he's from. You see here..

Steedie · 6 Aug 2008 at 22:35

of the world, it's not unusual to be loved by anyone

But these thoughts were side tracking him from what really mattered, and what really mattered was the huge...

strudey · 6 Aug 2008 at 22:37

Hiren was getting worried. His thoughts seemed to be making no causal sense, and he had a stupid name. He wondered if this was what it was like to have a stroke.

Nix · 6 Aug 2008 at 22:47

strudey said:
Hiren was getting worried. His thoughts seemed to be making no causal sense, and he had a stupid name. He wondered if this was what it was like to have a stroke.

The pain grew expotentially. Screaming, Hiren eventually succumbed to the darkness. A strange smell of flavoured tobacco creeped around the room and Hiren's mind became more organised.

"What just happened?"

"You passed out. I happen to find you lying here, so I helped myself to some of your shisha. Hope you don't mind?"

Hiren became alarmed at the stranger's presence.

"How did you get in?"

The stranger looked amused.

"Through the back door Hiren. It's the only way."

Dazed, Hiren pulled himself up, and rested his back against a chest of drawers. Trying to focus on the stranger, he noticed his bizarre features.

"What's your name?" Hiren politely inquired.

"James Morrison."

"Well, I don't mean to sound rude, but how the hell do you know who I am?"

"Oh, that's easy..."

The stranger was obviously aroused by the delusional direction the conversation had taken.

"...it was written on your underwear."

fail at the internets · 6 Aug 2008 at 22:57

Hiren began to weep uncontrolably..

fini · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:03

Nix said:
...

EDIT:Thanks

EDIT 2: Thanks

ryder · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:10

James Morrison begins to comfort Hiren, placing his arm around him.
"Up until now, Hiren, I imagine you have been feeling a little like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up."

James then drops two pills into Hirens hand.

"You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

Hiren stares into his hand at the strangely smooth, and quite shiny pills...

fail at the internets · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:11

"PILLS!" yells Hiren.

Jono8 · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:15

he then proceeds to knock one out over the many olsen twins pictures found in yesterdays thread about heath ledgers death..

gillywibble · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:22

When he's done fapping, he realises he hasn't had any food for three weeks. "I fancy some vine ripened tomatoes and ciabatta!" he exclaims.

MikeHunt79 · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:26

fini said:
3. no book trashing (the lead character can never fall in love with a mudkip etc)

I think you've made the mistake of starting this thread in GD.

It's a great idea tho, I'd be tempted to try again in Music, Literature & Box Office, I'm sure we'd end up with something a little less silly.

ryder · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:27

MikeHunt79 said:
I'd be tempted to try again in Music, Literature & Box Office, I'm sure we'd end up with something a little less silly.

Agreed. But now they know where we are hiding!

Jono8 · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:28

MikeHunt79 said:
I think you've made the mistake of starting this thread in GD.

It's a great idea tho, I'd be tempted to try again in Music, Literature & Box Office, I'm sure we'd end up with something a little less silly.

well more fun being silly though tbh

Begbie · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:43

gillywibble said:
When he's done fapping, he realises he hasn't had any food for three weeks. "I fancy some vine ripened tomatoes and ciabatta!" he exclaims.

He then goes to the fridge, and realises all he has left is mustard and spam, he then goes to his PC and asks OcUK to spec him some food.

Jono8 · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:47

Begbie said:
He then goes to the fridge, and realises all he has left is mustard and spam, he then goes to his PC and asks OcUK to spec him some food.

After proceeding to the forums he once again gets sidetrack by the pictures of the olsen twins and has another go at answering the Bone-A-Phone.

aproctor · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:48

Begbie said:
He then goes to the fridge, and realises all he has left is mustard and spam, he then goes to his PC and asks OcUK to spec him some food.

after several stupid answers he proceeds to masturbate into a mug full of luke warm tea and dip stale bread into it, "hovis" he screamed with pleasure, he finished his high protein snack when he noticed a young boy playing football outside....

Magic_x_uk · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:51

That boy was thought to be Magic_x_uk and he muttered the famous line---------"I think she is cheating!"

MikeHunt79 · 6 Aug 2008 at 23:51

ryder said:
Agreed. But now they know where we are hiding!

Shh, you're giving them ideas...

Begbie said:
He then goes to the fridge, and realises all he has left is mustard and spam, he then goes to his PC and asks OcUK to spec him some food.

OCUK suggests spam slices spread with mustard. While munching away, Hiren realises this may be tasty snack but is also execptionally hot, so he quickly grabs a glass and turns on the cold tap - but something is wrong, no water comes out... Instead: