Long distance relationships...

cleanbluesky

cleanbluesky

cleanbluesky

Soldato
Joined
2 Nov 2004
Posts
24,654
Yep, its that time again - so let's all sit by the fire in comfy chairs and drink some seasonal mulled wine whilst we discuss some of the finer points of human relations...

I've met a girl. I like the girl, there are many many good things about this girl. We get on well, and we are already quite intimate but the trouble is she lives in... China. China, like Jackie Chan.

Now how often I can visit China is a quandry, and how often she can visit UK is uncertain and how long she will be in China isn't set. She has an investment there, and it is important - so much so that even if she insisted on walking away from it I wouldn't hear it. I myself may soon have investments here that I can't walk away from.

The way I think of things is that I wouldn't start something unless I was serious, and if I am serious I want to be able to invest in someone. She wants someone to be there if she needs them, which I would always be if only by phone. I think I would be willing to visit China.

So can someone tell me about long-distance relationships. Because we are both a little confused, and I before anyone I wanted to get the opinion of the internet.
 
It will be hard as hell, my gf lives in manchester and its hard for us, but china :eek:


You never know though, in 10years you could be telling ** children how you met :eek:
 
In my experience long distance rarely works out, sometimes it lasts for years but then it all becomes too much and it all goes **** up. Tis a tricky one but i would be wary, only get involved if you are really sure and understand the sacrefices that need to be made at some point by one of you for you to be together.
 
If thats how it starts out then it might be ok... problems start when it goes from close to long distance imo...
 
I have a long distance relationship and its the most loving most meaningful most open most understanding relationship ive ever had :)

If you both want it to work then it will work. The Time you do get to spend with each other will be treated extremely valuable and not a minute will be wasted.
They cant tell you "i think we should spend some time apart" either so you dont have that problem. You cant over crowed each other.
And like i said, when you see each other its great and the time is always spent doing something together :)
 
My friend is currently going out with a girl from Sweden. He met her and then a couple weeks later, for whatever reason, she had to move back to Sweden. They have no been together for a year and.... it's now taking it's toll on him.

He has been a good boy, and well, he claims she has been a good girl too (who knows) but now he needs more from the relationship. Someone to speak to everyday, someone to hug, touch, kiss, share problems with on a daily basis...face to face, or even a couple times a week.

It all depends if whether or not you aim to be together. Either you go to China or she moves here. If not... where is the relationship actually going?
 
It depend on how the relationship is really. Do you trust her and vice-versa? If you do then you might have a chance but if there is a slight element of mistrust, it might make things hard.

Another point to take into consideration is the dog in you - Is it a raging one or a sweet little puppy? If you are the former im afraid, it wont work.... :)
 
Meh, just bring her over, government loves immigrants no matter what. So she should be able to get over here no problem.
 
cleanbluesky said:
Yep, its that time again - so let's all sit by the fire in comfy chairs and drink some seasonal mulled wine whilst we discuss some of the finer points of human relations...

I've met a girl. I like the girl, there are many many good things about this girl. We get on well, and we are already quite intimate but the trouble is she lives in... China. China, like Jackie Chan.
Click to expand...
You've met her in real life or just on the net?

Tbh it all sounds like a non-starter to me I'm afraid.
 
Macabre said:
Meh, just bring her over, government loves immigrants no matter what. So she should be able to get over here no problem.
Click to expand...

or maybe wait until China becomes part of the EU ;)

I am surprised by the less than optimistic responses. I think the person who posted about 'aims' may have a point though..it depends where you see it going.
 
Zip said:
I have a long distance relationship and its the most loving most meaningful most open most understanding relationship ive ever had :)

If you both want it to work then it will work. The Time you do get to spend with each other will be treated extremely valuable and not a minute will be wasted.
They cant tell you "i think we should spend some time apart" either so you dont have that problem. You cant over crowed each other.
And like i said, when you see each other its great and the time is always spent doing something together :)
Click to expand...
 
crystaline said:
or maybe wait until China becomes part of the EU ;)

I am surprised by the less than optimistic responses. I think the person who posted about 'aims' may have a point though..it depends where you see it going.
Click to expand...

Oh great. I can't wait :rolleyes:
 
I'll echo whats been said above, ive been in a longterm relationship with my missus for almost 2 yrs now. She lives in NYC and i live here but i get there as much as i can..in fact im off fri for 3 weeks with her.

It is hard and you have to ask yourself someone very serious questions about whether it will work or not ie have you got the committment. Tbh last yr i wasnt too sure myself if me and her were going to work out but after airing my views and opinions to her, we worked it out and have been stronger than ever. Yeh she gets a lot of attention, shes a sexy little muslim lass and likes to dress up whenever she goes out but thats her and ive learned to cope with that. Plus she was never really into guys, well not till at a late age and then i came along and swept her off her feet so to speak...now just i got to find a time to sit down and ask her to marry me....but thats another story.

All in all it takes a hell of a lot of work and committment, its not something to take lightly...and neither can it be seen as a short term fling as personally i would think thats a hell of a lot of money to be wasting on just a 'shag' tbh.

Suffice to say me and my missus still have our days where we spend a few hrs bitching at each other on the phone but thats part and parcel of a relationship i guess. But its great after seeing each other after awhile away from each other, the heart grows fonder and all that...in fact i still get butterflies everytime i think of her and it gets worse when im about to jet off to see her....i can see sleepless nights for me tonight and tommorrow....:p

Good luck with it though, you will need it and try not to confuse her with your GCSE pyscho babble :D:p
 
Hmm difficult.

The realist says stay away, the optimist says screw it go for it and if it ends badly at least you gave it a go.

As I think someone mentioned before, you need an end point where you are prepared that either you move there, she moves here, or you both move somewhere - a long distance relationship can't go on indefinitely.

Crappy situation really, sucks when you find someone awesome and they live frickin' miles away. Best of luck anyway though!
 
Zip said:
So are you answering your own Question with what i said or did you forget to type in something? :confused:

Tis confusing me:confused:
Click to expand...

confused me too...

in fact, this whole thread confuses me... CBS is one of the last people i expected to be asking for realationship advice on here. :cool:
 
As others have said (ok I have not read the replys but I guess they would have!)

It will work if you both make it work, it requires more effort than a close relationship and it is hard but if you both want it to work out it can.

Personally I found it only possible because we always had a date when we would be together and working towards that goal made it possible, but then I set myself a goal or target all the time in my life as I find it the best way to motivate myself.

I would say try it, see if your both able to have a relationship like that.
 
A lot depends on the length of your relationship so far. Personally I think that if you are not an already "Established" couple, it is very difficult to make work. You're not very clear about your existing relationship and how much time you have spent with eachother.

My head says it is unworkable. I've only really had 1 long distance relationship (Brighton>Bristol) and it broke down through noones fault but just because of the circumstances.

OTOH if for whatever reason my current relationship changed to a long distance thing, my heart says I would make it work.

Whatever happens, I wish you luck.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom