m8s 360 got thrown out window (pics)

[melchy]

I would think that the vast majority of Fathers are perfectly reasonable individuals unless pushed too far by their children and that the vast majority of teenagers are lazy and give absolutely no consideration to their parents and no help around the house.

Do you have kids of your own? Are you reflecting back on your teenage years with 20 plus more years under your belt or are you posting as a kid who lives at home? As I have said before I was a fairly typical teenager. I earnt some money, lived at home, paid zero rent, took the mick with my comings and goings and looking back on it was a pretty shameful son. At the time I thought I was just having fun and that my parents should get off my back about things.
One time I put a brick through the kitchen window because I was drunk and couldn't find my keys and wanted to go to bed.
If this kid is anything like the teenager I was he then he deserves far more than an xbox being launched out the window.

Most fathers are indeed very reasonable and even if their kid was the worst lay-about slob on the planet most wouldnt resort to breaking their childs property. Im not particulary sure if you have specifically answered to agree or disagree with what this persons father has done. I think i've made it pretty clear that i dont, and although i do not have children, if i got to the stage where im throwing their belongings out windows i'd have to ask myself if i deserved to be their father no matter how bad they were behaving. Is this the sort of tool you are prepaired to use in your parenting repertoire ?

There is obviously some pretty conflicting views in the thread. I think about everythings been said that needs to be.

 

[melchy]

The post that you first took issue with pointed out the irony of someone complaining that an action was unreasonable and then claiming that they would punch their father in the face. The irony being that they feel they have a right to complain about an action in which no-one is hurt and a right to respond with violence.
If someone wants to take their Father to court over an xbox then do it. If it ever got that far I'd give my kid £300 and 24 hours to move out of my house. I wonder if that is why kids wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't get into a fight over someone scratching my car unless I was 100% positive that I wouldn't get cuaght. The way the law in this country works I would be the one going to jail for GBH or similar for defending my property. So I would simply get the police involved. If I got no joy through normal channels I might employ some other avenue of compensation anonymously and at a later date.
I spent a lot of personal time getting a kids park revamped and I did catch a bunch of teenagers kicking the fence down. I was furious but instead of beating the carp out of them I called the police and videoed them for a minute before going out and grabbing the little scumbag.
Needless to say the fence was repaired by the kids father and they haven't been near the place since.

Your first post about irony simply mentioned someone going "ballistic" after the event, no specific mention of violence. Ballistic is a word that i used in an earlier post, the use of the word doesnt automatically mean violence, possibly a lot of gesticulating, shouting and swearing but not necessarily violence . I then quoted your second post when you did mention punch them in the face, burn them etc, to which i simply asked a question about what you would do if someone other than your parents damaged your property. I was simply trying to point out that human nature tends to lead to you getting a little angry when such things happen. You seemed to suggest that you should somehow not feel the same anger when your parents do something like that to you and that its ok for them to do it. It would be nice to turn on and off your emotions like that. You also seem to suggest that destruction of property by your parents isnt a criminal act while knocking down a fence in a park is. Whats the difference ?

As for your point about asking your kid to leave home if they did take you to court etc, perhaps thats what this entire episode has at the core. Rather than the father simply asking him to leave, he tries to force him out by his actions. The "Kid" is certainly not going to be happy about it or forget the whole episode in a hurry. In your opinion what did the father hope to benefit from doing this ?

Anyway it would be nice to discover what has happened with this, as unless the father is a real pratt i suspect that he is feeling rather guilty now and i'd suspect a new 360 may make an appearence.

 

[Weebull]

Reading through this thread I see a lot of posts that seem to say :

Throwing a 360 out of the window is disgraceful behaviour, a father should know better.
My response would be to go "ballistic".

Doesn't anyone see the irony of that?

Depends on your definition of ballistic really. I used the word, but I certainly didn't mean to imply that I'd go and punch my own father in the face, smash everything in the house as retaliation, or do anything else quite so overboard. I merely meant that I'd be incredibly annoyed, and would most likely shout like a loon at him for several minutes, and get into a massive argument with him about it. I'd also probably walk away before I did or said something stupid, because violence certainly wouldn't help the situation. I don't think there's any irony at all in getting annoyed because someone broke something of mine.

As it is, I'm trying not to speculate here, but I inevitably am, and nearly everbody else in this thread is doing it too, to a much larger degree. Isn't there just as obvious an irony in you chastising others for not knowing the full situation behing this, while also defending the father and saying he had every right to do what he did?

I mean, based on the "evidence" given (all three or four lines of two posts), the father could just have easily simply walked up and thrown the 360 through the window, completely out of the blue. Or it could just have easily been the culmination of years of arguing, physical vioence, and destruction by the son. I imagine the answer is quite obviously somewhere between the two, but people seem to be having an argument here about something they know next to nothing about, and it all seems very pointless.

 

[melchy]

Depends on your definition of ballistic really. I used the word, but I certainly didn't mean to imply that I'd go and punch my own father in the face, smash everything in the house as retaliation, or do anything else quite so overboard. I merely meant that I'd be incredibly annoyed, and would most likely shout like a loon at him for several minutes, and get into a massive argument with him about it. I'd also probably walk away before I did or said something stupid, because violence certainly wouldn't help the situation. I don't think there's any irony at all in getting annoyed because someone broke something of mine.

As it is, I'm trying not to speculate here, but I inevitably am, and nearly everbody else in this thread is doing it too, to a much larger degree. Isn't there just as obvious an irony in you chastising others for not knowing the full situation behing this, while also defending the father and saying he had every right to do what he did?

I mean, based on the "evidence" given (all three or four lines of two posts), the father could just have easily simply walked up and thrown the 360 through the window, completely out of the blue. Or it could just have easily been the culmination of years of arguing, physical vioence, and destruction by the son. I imagine the answer is quite obviously somewhere between the two, but people seem to be having an argument here about something they know next to nothing about, and it all seems very pointless.

I'd like to think of it more as a friendly discussion rather than an argument , but you are entirely correct in that we are all making assumptions. More often than not these assumptions are probably based on our own upbringing. Anyway i hope it all works out for the best.

 

[Energize]

Maybe he simply has a bad temper and the son is particularly annoying.
Maybe the next time the father asks the son to help out around the house / do his schoolwork / get a job (delete as appropriate) instead of playing on the 360 all the time the son will do as he is told.

Thumbs up to the dad for taking no nonsense off the kid.

Thats no excuse for breaking things, most kids I know are even more mature than that. Its quite worrying that you condone that sort of behaviour.

 

[VIRII]

Most fathers are indeed very reasonable and even if their kid was the worst lay-about slob on the planet most wouldnt resort to breaking their childs property. Im not particulary sure if you have specifically answered to agree or disagree with what this persons father has done. I think i've made it pretty clear that i dont, and although i do not have children, if i got to the stage where im throwing their belongings out windows i'd have to ask myself if i deserved to be their father no matter how bad they were behaving. Is this the sort of tool you are prepaired to use in your parenting repertoire ?

There is obviously some pretty conflicting views in the thread. I think about everythings been said that needs to be.

I support the Father taking some firm action in response to his child refusing to pull his weight. I personally wouldn't chuck it out the window I would sell it, however you seem to put a huge amount of value on a kids plaything. I trust my kids won't grow up to be so materialistic, time will tell.

I don't hold with all the "the childs property" line of argument, it is emotive nonsense to me. It is a games console, it has no feelings and no value beyond a small amount of cash. For people to suggest that they would inflict harm upon their parents over a games console ...... get a grip.

Plenty of fathers do skip a kids toy if they get pushed too far. I don't know how old you are but all I can say is that at 16 I probably thought a lot like you do. That is why at 19 I left home. Looking back I can see my parents point, I couldn't then.

For what it is worth I have used the threat of skipping, giving away and selling toys if they are not properly looked after and tidied away. I will also carry out my threats if such treatment continues.

 

[VIRII]

Depends on your definition of ballistic really.

Ballistic - extreme reaction.

I did not realise it meant "would be a bit cross".

 

[VIRII]

Thats no excuse for breaking things, most kids I know are even more mature than that. Its quite worrying that you condone that sort of behaviour.

I am sure that when your 19 year old son refuses to pay rent or help round the house and sits on his backside all day playing video games that you're going to be the worlds best father and not even raise an eyebrow.

I am amazed at how many people without kids, who probably still live at home, think that they are somehow going to be better fathers than the one mentioned. Try it for 15 years, see if you NEVER lose your temper and NEVER do something a little bit crazy.

 

[Boogle]

VIRII you're making a BIG assumption that this person is taking his parents for a ride, that he doesn't pay rent, does nothing, etc. etc.

You can't assume these things. Not everyone 15-19 is like you at 15-19.

Also I am somewhat concerned for your lake of care of children. They're human beings with a full range of emotions, personality and individuality. They aren't something to battle as if they're an enemy soldier. Additionally they're very emotionally immature, and especially during the teenage years - unpredictable. Hell at one point a male is flooded with estrogen, causing some adolescent boys to think they're gay (temporarily of course).

Losing your temper is fair game, however as a parent you should be able to control what you do in front of children. If things break down to the point where control is lost (as it most definitely was in this case) more than occasionally - professional help should be sought. My sister had many, many issues with her first child, fortunately things have much improved and the child in question is exceedingly well behaved - and just as importantly - happy. My other sister was kicked out early (16) because my dad lost his temper. She decided not to come back and live with her bf (who she married, then divorced) - suffice it to say her life was crippled before it started. 5 kids, no house (council house), but fortunately a fairly stable family(ish) environment.

Kicking a person out of a house is a very, very serious move and not be taken lightly. 'if my kid did that [sue me over something I broke] I would pay him and kick him out' is a very immature reaction. Immature why? Its not considering the ramifications, or the other side of the argument as you so often point out. Difference between a mature person and an immature person is experience, and the ability to look beyond the immediate.

I'm well aware that the parent has a point of view as well. However an excellent parent will be above the simple action->reaction->reaction>reaction loop. A good parent will at least try to solve problems. A bad parent is one who assumes he or she is ALWAYS right. Its difficult - to keep authority over everyone you have to make and keep to decisions and admiting to failing is a difficult thing to do and has to be done carefully to avoid undermining your authority. However, a parent who rules with an iron grip is resented, and has a major impact on a child's emotional development. Even tho the child didn't like it - he or she will grow up to do exactly the same thing since they believe it to be the way things are done (even if its only sub-conciously).

If I wrecked your car, I'm sure you would at least phone the police. I'm pretty sure you would also demand renumeration, and if I refused - most likely take me to court. Now what if I were your dad, and I wrecked your car for no reason at all? Just because I'm your dad - I'm untouchable? For all you know a similiar thing happened here, however, instead of a car it was a games console.

Maybe its just the family I'm in. If anyone does anything to any one else (say break something) they must fix it. It works both ways, everything is fair and even. It works well, there is no destruction, people are helpful & supportive. Of course we have tiffs and arguments, but nothing severely personal is said, nothing damaged, and all is made up within a few days. The parents still have authority (or at least used to until the nest was left behind ), yet it wasn't with the understanding that the children were soldiers and had to obey any and all orders.

 

[Energize]

I am sure that when your 19 year old son refuses to pay rent or help round the house and sits on his backside all day playing video games that you're going to be the worlds best father and not even raise an eyebrow.

I am amazed at how many people without kids, who probably still live at home, think that they are somehow going to be better fathers than the one mentioned. Try it for 15 years, see if you NEVER lose your temper and NEVER do something a little bit crazy.

We dont know anything about this person at all, your assuming everything, for all you know they may have done nothing wrong.

 

[VIRII]

We dont know anything about this person at all, your assuming everything, for all you know they may have done nothing wrong.

I think it highly unlikely though don't you?

 

[VIRII]

VIRII you're making a BIG assumption that this person is taking his parents for a ride, that he doesn't pay rent, does nothing, etc. etc.

You can't assume these things. Not everyone 15-19 is like you at 15-19.

Yet I'll bet I am right. There have been inumerable posts along these lines in GD over the years where lazy boned angst ridden teenagers bleat about how cruel their parents are convinced that their parents who house, feed and clothe them are deliberately trying to make their lives a living hell.

Also I am somewhat concerned for your lake of care of children. They're human beings with a full range of emotions, personality and individuality. They aren't something to battle as if they're an enemy soldier. Additionally they're very emotionally immature, and especially during the teenage years - unpredictable. Hell at one point a male is flooded with estrogen, causing some adolescent boys to think they're gay (temporarily of course).

What lack of care? Perhaps you can demonstrate that. I am afterall a parent myself and find your accusation rather out of place. It is interesting that you open your post with a caveat about assumption and then seem to make so many yourself. Or are you confusing me not caring if the kids upset about his xbox with caring about my children?

Losing your temper is fair game, however as a parent you should be able to control what you do in front of children. If things break down to the point where control is lost (as it most definitely was in this case) more than occasionally - professional help should be sought.

Are you a parent? Do you know for sure that you can control your temper with your teenage son? Is this more assumption? Are you 100% positive that you could not be pushed into throwing a games console out of the window?
I can't see me doing it but who knows maybe I would if pushed far enough. It is easy to criticise someone based on a very biased forum post from a kid about some other kids father from the cool and collected comfort of your home.

We do not know if this Xbox incident is more than occasionally. Are you assuming that it is? Whilst you "should" be able to control everything that you ever do in front of children do you acknowledge that not many people are likely to be that perfect? This might well be a one off after an ongoing struggle with the lad that resulted in a momentary lapse of reason and ultimately ended in a games console getting damaged. I don't think it is the end of the world. I don't think it justifies violence as many have advocated.

My sister had many, many issues with her first child, fortunately things have much improved and the child in question is exceedingly well behaved - and just as importantly - happy. My other sister was kicked out early (16) because my dad lost his temper. She decided not to come back and live with her bf (who she married, then divorced) - suffice it to say her life was crippled before it started. 5 kids, no house (council house), but fortunately a fairly stable family(ish) environment.

To quote you ..... You can't assume these things. Not everyone 15-19 is like you at 15-19. So how much store should we put by your example? None it seems.

Kicking a person out of a house is a very, very serious move and not be taken lightly. 'if my kid did that [sue me over something I broke] I would pay him and kick him out' is a very immature reaction. Immature why? Its not considering the ramifications, or the other side of the argument as you so often point out. Difference between a mature person and an immature person is experience, and the ability to look beyond the immediate.

Are you suggesting that I am immature? More assumption? If communications between my child and I led to a position where my 18 year old child took me to court then I would give him 24 hours to leave my house. That is not immature. What is immature about it? My house , my rules, if you don't feel happy then leave. It is precisely what I did at 19. Things would have to be pretty much irreconcileable to get to the point where a son took the father to court over a games console. A little perspective, this is all over a games console. If it is that bad then it is time he moved on.

I'm well aware that the parent has a point of view as well. However an excellent parent will be above the simple action->reaction->reaction>reaction loop. A good parent will at least try to solve problems. A bad parent is one who assumes he or she is ALWAYS right.

I have already stated that I have assumed that this xbox incident is not a spur of the moment, out of the blue incident but the result of a prolonged and ongoing issue with a selfish kid. Are you sure that no efforts have been made to resolve problems? Are you sure that the father thinks that he is always right? Are you assuming again?

Its difficult - to keep authority over everyone you have to make and keep to decisions and admiting to failing is a difficult thing to do and has to be done carefully to avoid undermining your authority. However, a parent who rules with an iron grip is resented, and has a major impact on a child's emotional development. Even tho the child didn't like it - he or she will grow up to do exactly the same thing since they believe it to be the way things are done (even if its only sub-conciously).

I don't think that asking someone to pull their weight is a matter of authority.
You seem to think that this is about a "father-son struggle". If there is one it almost certainly exists only in the mind of the child and I would wager that the father has tried on a great number of occasions to get the child to pull his weight. Maturity can also come with age. Part of that is being able to look back honestly at yourself and how you were 20 odd years ago. Hindsight, as they say, is a wonderful thing. At the time I was a teen I had similar high expectations of myself as a father to be one day, I thought I knew better than my parents, I assumed I would never make any mistakes.
Actually being a parent is a rather humbling experience, you find out what your weaknesses are, you realise that you can only hope to be as good a parent as your own parents were. You see things from the other side of the fence. You gain a more balanced view. You acknowledge that you must strive to be the best parent that you can be.
An immature mind however might have some very high expectations and zero understanding of the realities.

If I wrecked your car, I'm sure you would at least phone the police. I'm pretty sure you would also demand renumeration, and if I refused - most likely take me to court. Now what if I were your dad, and I wrecked your car for no reason at all? Just because I'm your dad - I'm untouchable? For all you know a similiar thing happened here, however, instead of a car it was a games console.

I have already stated that I would phone the police if someone vandalised my car. however, you must own a pretty poor car if it is as useful and valuable as a games console. Shall we stick to what actually happened as opposed to trying to pretend that a car and a games console are truly comparable? Also you say "wrecked for no reason at all". That is not what happened though is it?
I can't imagine any fathers wrecking their kids cars for no reason at all. A spur of the moment launching of the xbox is one thing, a sustained and prolonged attack on something as large as a car is quite another thing is it not. Perhaps that is why the OP is talking about an xbox and not a car.

Maybe its just the family I'm in. If anyone does anything to any one else (say break something) they must fix it. It works both ways, everything is fair and even. It works well, there is no destruction, people are helpful & supportive.

Quite and you don't sit on your backside all day playing the xbox and not helping eachother out around the house. What would happen if one of you acted like a selfish little prat for weeks on end and refused to lift a finger?

Of course we have tiffs and arguments, but nothing severely personal is said, nothing damaged, and all is made up within a few days. The parents still have authority (or at least used to until the nest was left behind ), yet it wasn't with the understanding that the children were soldiers and had to obey any and all orders.

Would you take a request to tidy up, hoover or do the dishes as being treated like a soldier following orders then? No-one bar you has mentioned authority or orders. I have an expectation of children who think that they are "grown up" to pull their weight around the house. Is that treating them like soldiers? I don't think so somehow.

 

[DaveyD]

I'm 100% on VIRII's side here, but I think this is turing into a Speakers corner thread... need to really wait until ONESHOTKILL actually tells us the full situation, as everybody is making far too many assumptions on the situation.

 

[Tobes]

I'm not going to take sides until we hear back from ONESHOTKILL. But I know that if my Dad smashed up my Xbox I would retaliate and smash up his sports car.

My consoles and PC are part of my future (Journalist and Games programmer) and to smash them up with be messing up my future. I also can't stand people that say "that's life". BS, life is what you make it. (Don't know why I brought this up... meh lol)

I'm 18 and yeh you could say I am quite immature, but that's me. As a kid I have had my parents take my stuff away from me, Atari, TV, Megadrive and Gameboy lol. Don't remember why but I probably learnt my lesson for it.

If my father walked into my room now and smashed up my 360 because I would have been peed off I prob would have hit him. It wouldn't hurt him because I am so damn week but I know it would shock him. I then would run down stairs, put my foot through his pc and then gone up to his sports card and messed up the body work. This would be because of the moment though. If he could hold me back I wouldn't do any thing..

This is mainly because of incidents in the past I say this. I know it sounds very immature but if my Dad can smash up my stuff why can't I do the same back. It wouldn’t be childish to smash his stuff but it would be childish because I retaliated.

 

[gord]

I still say we call the RSPCA

 

[Whappers]

This is mainly because of incidents in the past I say this. I know it sounds very immature but if my Dad can smash up my stuff why can't I do the same back?

Because he is your father and you are his son. That's why. What happened to the respect that children used to have for their parents

 

[Ultra_Extreme]

my experience of kids up to at least 20yrs or so is that they are invincible, irrefutably correct in all instances and utterly infallable, not to be confused with inflammable.

Therefore it is quite likely that this is a good thing. My brother gets away with murder with my parents, always squaring up to my dad etc. He's 18. One day last month he did the same to me and found himself on the floor in short order. Ive never seen anyone look so surprised. It was as if it wasnt how it was gonna go in his head or something. Anyway, if my dad had done that it would have made things worse, it would have become one of those "my dad just hit me omgs!" type things. but with me doing it he had to apply the grudging respect older brothers get.

Now dont get me wrong, im not a violent man and this isnt a violent family. but now and again, especially these days, it pays to show young people that there are sometimes nasty consequences for their actions. This is the price of maturity.

 

[Tobes]

Because he is your father and you are his son. That's why. What happened to the respect that children used to have for their parents

I will give ANYONE the same respect they give me.

 

[dirtydog]

I'm not going to take sides until we hear back from ONESHOTKILL. But I know that if my Dad smashed up my Xbox I would retaliate and smash up his sports car.

LOL

 

[Tobes]

yeh.. seems like I have. Darn