Make me an offer

[fini]

Pick me and I'll give you 10% of it - collection after I receive the full amount only.

 

[Trifid]

Thought it was a porn site when I read the name.

(I think it is better tbh. It's a great resource but very hard to get a invite to.)

 

[VaderDSL]

Make it out to yourself, fake your death, then fly away to Cuba ... sorted.

 

[Mekrel]

I have just had a form slapped in front of me, I have to nominate a person to receive the payout should I die at work. Basically if I die at work the person named on the form gets 4x my salary tax free which is a healthy 6-figure sum.

This could potentially be quite lucrative to you should I drop dead at my desk

So come on... before I put it on eBay, how much to go on my form?

I wonder if this is some sort of policy through an insurance company or law, or a coinsidence but I also get 4x my salary to my nominated person. I put my mother on mine, I do my Dads invoices every month for his company and I know what he turns over and he would probably drink all the money from my death

 

[Pumpkinstew]

Pumpkinstew's Donkey Sanctuary always needs sponsorship.

If you put me down as the beneficiary I'll build a hedgehog wing and name it after you when you pass on. A fitting memorial, don't you think?

 

[Kristoph]

I'll build a hedgehog wing

 

[Kristoph]

I'll build a hedgehog wing

You might notice I am just a slightly bit bored

 

[tim_enchanter]

You may be bored but shoving an ice scraper up a hedgehogs arse is cruelty to animals

 

[macca672]

Ill give you half a curly wurly and a packet of love hearts and thats my final offer

 

[basmic]

It's quite likely that I will die from excess dust settlement. The dust that collects on me during the day from inactivity becomes so heavy it's hard to breathe

And this is likely to be much more lucrative. Look I already got offered a male handjob... have you any idea how much that costs normally?

Never mind a handjob - I'll give you the full works.

After I get the money.

 

[Jonny69]

What do you do?

I'm a helpdesk turkey at a well known software house

See dying of boredom is also a possibility

Never mind a handjob - I'll give you the full works.

After I get the money.

I'll slide a rod down the middle of it to make it appear to still be working

 

[4p]

LOL wahwahwhawhahahaahahahahaha what a thread

 

[basmic]

See dying of boredom is also a possibility


I'll slide a rod down the middle of it to make it appear to still be working

Hmm...how about you phone me about an hour before you die?

 

[bikerdude1982]

I have just had a form slapped in front of me, I have to nominate a person to receive the payout should I die at work. Basically if I die at work the person named on the form gets 4x my salary tax free which is a healthy 6-figure sum.

This could potentially be quite lucrative to you should I drop dead at my desk

So come on... before I put it on eBay, how much to go on my form?

Hows about a charity ??

 

[Jonny69]

Hmm...how about you phone me about an hour before you die?

The call will go something like this...

"Basmic, oh Basmic, *croak* I'm dying, they've told me I have about an hour left. God I'm so bored I can barely take much more... Kiss me Basmic (note: this is in a Lord Nelson way, not the homoxial way)" phone silences

"Jonny, Jonny, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!11122ZOR Wait, what am I talking about I'M RICH!!!"

 

[SunaseIPs]

you can have sex with my missus twice a week if you want.

Before or after death?

 

[iCraig]

If he's still warm I doubt she'll notice.

Plus I heard rigor mortis is better than viagra.

 

[basmic]

The call will go something like this...

"Basmic, oh Basmic, *croak* I'm dying, they've told me I have about an hour left. God I'm so bored I can barely take much more... Kiss me Basmic (note: this is in a Lord Nelson way, not the homoxial way)" phone silences

"Jonny, Jonny, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!11122ZOR Wait, what am I talking about I'M RICH!!!"

\o/

 

[Pumpkinstew]

Hows about a charity ??

I've already suggested St Jonnywinkles for the care of ailing hedgehogs.

(including the removal of ice scrapers. )