Soldato
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- 6 Sep 2005
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- 3,781
Management drivel
- Thread starter mcast123
- Start date
Soldato
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- 5 Sep 2005
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- 11,742
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- Northern Ireland
why do people bother with this crap?
Associate
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- 6 Dec 2002
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- Leeds
If no body is allowed to the table with a problem, what are you actually trying to solve???
Soldato
- Joined
- 10 Nov 2003
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- Surrey, by the river
That's my mantra.
I deliver, but I'm stunningly lazy and generally don't like the fact that I actually have to work for a living.
If no body is allowed to the table with a problem, what are you actually trying to solve???
Challenges of course.
Soldato
- Joined
- 10 Nov 2003
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- 14,034
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- Surrey, by the river
lol so true, thats what i always think when i hear that.
I wonder what the corporate world thinks of geek drivel like this thread fails to deliver.
Granted, it's only in it's embryonic stages at the moment but we'll touch base later for some further dialogue.
Get your thinking cap on, let's think outside the box on this one.
Granted, it's only in it's embryonic stages at the moment but we'll touch base later for some further dialogue.
Get your thinking cap on, let's think outside the box on this one.
Associate
- Joined
- 29 May 2003
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- 2,038
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- Cambridge
Either that or they genuinely think it makes them sound clever or professional - as far as I'm concerned it makes them sound like pretentious tossers ...
The one we always get at our place is 'going forward' - it'll be like “blah, blah, blah, blah, going forward, blah, blah ...” - drives me up the bloody wall ...
It gets so bad sometimes if someone uses one of these buzzwords in a one-to-one discussion with me, I always ask them if they realise what a berk they sound like and that I do not respond to those who cannot express themselves without resorting to vacuous, meaningless claptrap.
Don't get stuff like that. They are to incompetent to make funny talk.
they just open flood gates where the river is higher than the reservoir and tell us to poke sticks at water ways that are flowing at like 30mph to see if there's any blockages.
Then when there's a problem with pay, training, ordering, HR and about 5 other sections. It's always the computers fault or the other departments. How about we look at the common denominator and sack the managers GRRrrrrr
they just open flood gates where the river is higher than the reservoir and tell us to poke sticks at water ways that are flowing at like 30mph to see if there's any blockages.
Then when there's a problem with pay, training, ordering, HR and about 5 other sections. It's always the computers fault or the other departments. How about we look at the common denominator and sack the managers GRRrrrrr
Project managers. I've yet to meet one that isn't a complete **** wit.
Associate
- Joined
- 2 Sep 2007
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- 874
- Location
- Scotland
I think we need to hit the ground running, keep our eye on the ball, and make sure that we are singing off the same song sheet. At the end of the day it is not a level playing field and the goal posts may move; if they do, someone else may have to pick it up and run with it. We therefore must have a golf bag of options hot-to-trot from the word ’go’.
It is your train set but we cannot afford to leave it on the back burner; we’ve got a lot of irons in the fire, right now. We will need to un-stick a few potential poo traps but it all depends on the flash-to-bang time and fudge factor allowed.
Things may end up slipping to the right and, if they do, we will need to run a tight ship. I don’t want to re-invent the wheel but we must get right into the weeds on this one. If push comes to shove, we may have to up stumps and then we’ll be in a whole new ball game.
I suggest we test the water with a few warmers in the bank. If we can produce the goods then we are cooking with gas. If not, then we are in a world of hurt. I don’t want to die in a ditch over it but we could easily end up in a flat spin if people start getting twitchy. To that end, I want to get round the bazaars and make sure the movers and the shakers are on-side from day one. If you can hit me with your shopping list I can take it to the head honchos and start the ball rolling.
There is light at the end of the tunnel and I think we have backed a winner here. If it gets blown out the water, however, I will be throwing a track. So get your feet into my in-tray and give me chapter and verse as to how you see things panning out. As long as our ducks are in a row I think the ball will stay in play and we can come up smelling of roses.
Before you bomb burst and throw smoke, it is imperative we nail our colours very firmly on the mast and look at the big picture. We’ve got to march to the beat of the drum. We are on a sticky wicket so we’ll need to play with a straight bat and watch out for fast balls.
I’ve been on permanent send for long enough and I’ve had my ten pence worth. I don’t want to rock the boat or teach anyone to suck eggs. We must keep this firmly in our sight picture or it will fall between the cracks. If the cap fits, wear it, but it may seem like pushing fog up a hill with a sharp stick.
It is your train set but we cannot afford to leave it on the back burner; we’ve got a lot of irons in the fire, right now. We will need to un-stick a few potential poo traps but it all depends on the flash-to-bang time and fudge factor allowed.
Things may end up slipping to the right and, if they do, we will need to run a tight ship. I don’t want to re-invent the wheel but we must get right into the weeds on this one. If push comes to shove, we may have to up stumps and then we’ll be in a whole new ball game.
I suggest we test the water with a few warmers in the bank. If we can produce the goods then we are cooking with gas. If not, then we are in a world of hurt. I don’t want to die in a ditch over it but we could easily end up in a flat spin if people start getting twitchy. To that end, I want to get round the bazaars and make sure the movers and the shakers are on-side from day one. If you can hit me with your shopping list I can take it to the head honchos and start the ball rolling.
There is light at the end of the tunnel and I think we have backed a winner here. If it gets blown out the water, however, I will be throwing a track. So get your feet into my in-tray and give me chapter and verse as to how you see things panning out. As long as our ducks are in a row I think the ball will stay in play and we can come up smelling of roses.
Before you bomb burst and throw smoke, it is imperative we nail our colours very firmly on the mast and look at the big picture. We’ve got to march to the beat of the drum. We are on a sticky wicket so we’ll need to play with a straight bat and watch out for fast balls.
I’ve been on permanent send for long enough and I’ve had my ten pence worth. I don’t want to rock the boat or teach anyone to suck eggs. We must keep this firmly in our sight picture or it will fall between the cracks. If the cap fits, wear it, but it may seem like pushing fog up a hill with a sharp stick.
I used to work for a US finance co. in Scotland, I will never forget a meeting we had with one of our esteemed US colleagues, quote...
"...those are low hanging fruit issues, with a more proactive approach we can slam dunk this project..."
I giggled and my boss smiled at me, american bloke thought we were laughing with him.
Anyone else get this rubbish at work?
I read that, looked at Twitter and low and behold:
Soldato
- Joined
- 14 Aug 2008
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- 4,255
- Location
- North Sea
I recall one 'business analyst' (they're paid handsomely to turn up and state the bloody obvious) using the term "Helicopter view". When I asked her what that meant, she likened it to an overview. I mean why the hell didn't she use the term "overview"? It's a lot clearer, doesn't confuse someone unnecessarily and wouldn't make her look like some pretentious half-witt disguising their lack of genuine, useful skills with a veneer of meaningless buzzwords.