Meals - eat together and the same?
- Thread starter PeterNem
- Start date
My family has always treated meal times as a special family time. We try, as much as possible, to eat together.PeterNem said:
However, it isn't always possible. My wife and I sometimes have work commitments that prevent it, and as the kids grew up, increasingly so did they. Shared meals was certainly a high priority objective, but not an absolute requirement and there certainly wasn't any military precision about it.
As for planning days in advance, and requiring notice, that wasn't us at all. But, neither would we let the kids treat the place as a free hotel. Once they were of an age to be somewhat independent, we expected our kids to treat mealtimes with some respect. We certainly weren't going to prepare meals on the off-chance that the kids may actually deign to bother showing up, if they felt like it and didn't get a better offer. Either they let us know in sufficient time to include/exclude them, or they made their own arrangements. And, on several occasions, I issued a lecture about the lack of courtesy and respect implied by saying they would be there, and then neither showing up, nor letting us know they weren't coming. In fact, a couple of times, I read the riot act over that point.
If the kids intend to come and go as they wish, and then expect room service-style gratification of their culinary whims, they can also expect a five-star hotel sized bill for it. If they want to be part of a family, they can damn well treat it with the respect that that implies. If they fail to show up when expected, without even bothering to let us know, they'd better have a good reason .... and that includes a good reason why they couldn't even let us know, not just a good reason for not showing up. "I forgot" is not a good reason.
Soldato
Haly said:Yes, quite obviously if I spend time with my parents while they watch TV it ruins any sense of family
Imo, if families are spending time together even if it's just in front of the TV they're doing a hell of a lot better than many friends I know who barely see their parents these days. Often end up discussing the news that's on the TV with my parents anyway, surely not a bad thing?
Well I suppose at least some conversation comes from it.
But surely sitting infront of the TV culls most conversation? I know it does when I sit in front of it!
Soldato
We had a dining room when I was a nipper and we always ate dinner together. No TV either.
My mum and dad still do even though they're both long retired. She always does a sunday roast for my dad on a sunday. Off the best china, wine out the best glasses and using the silver cutlery, which also come out for having friends over for dinner and high days/holidays. There is a choice of meal too. Take it or leave it. Mum says she's "not a bloody caff".
Me, mrs fatiain and jr try to eat together as much as possible however, it's a lap in front of the telly job. Now Josh is getting older, we're going to try and eat more at the kitchen table.
Now where's my pipe and slippers?
My mum and dad still do even though they're both long retired. She always does a sunday roast for my dad on a sunday. Off the best china, wine out the best glasses and using the silver cutlery, which also come out for having friends over for dinner and high days/holidays. There is a choice of meal too. Take it or leave it. Mum says she's "not a bloody caff".
Me, mrs fatiain and jr try to eat together as much as possible however, it's a lap in front of the telly job. Now Josh is getting older, we're going to try and eat more at the kitchen table.
Now where's my pipe and slippers?
Doesn't with us, guess it's different for different people. Personally I often get bored watching TV alone, I'd prefer to have someone there to discuss it with.PaulStat said:
Really though, while eating is not a great time for conversation. A family would do better to talk at other times of the day, not when they're trying to stuff their face with food
Soldato
The kids always sit at the table to eat, no telly. We used to always sit and eat together at dinner times, but the dynamics have changed somewhat so now they eat with their dad, and I'll eat later when the kids are in bed/i've done the horses or whatever. I often cook more than one type of meal, Pheebs is the fussiest eater in the world. While she never asks for different food, she just doesnt eat and loses weight she cant afford to lose if she doesnt get food she likes. She lives on pasta/rice based meals.
Soldato
We always have the same at the same time - me with meat product, her with vegetarian product.
Man of Honour
Haly said:Really though, while eating is not a great time for conversation. A family would do better to talk at other times of the day, not when they're trying to stuff their face with food
In a funny way I agree with you, as I've said when I'm at home I will normally have a meal with my parents sat at the table and I enjoy doing that. The problem is my mum seems to think it is the best time for a conversation whereas me and my dad look upon a mealtime as exactly that - the time to eat your meal not to hold an indepth conversation. I'd be quite happy to sit in companionable silence with my parents at mealtimes with occasional conversation as and when needed rather than risk my food getting cold. Since it is their house though and they are providing the meal then I go along with it with a smile because it is their choice
Soldato
When I was living back home we all ate at the same time , the same meal but in the lounge with our dinner on trays
Neither myself or my brother are fussy eaters so we always ate what was put in front of us. My parents would cook the food together and my and my brother would do the clearing up afterwards
On a saturday night and a sunday or when we had guests we would sit at the dining table
I hope to do the same with our kids
Neither myself or my brother are fussy eaters so we always ate what was put in front of us. My parents would cook the food together and my and my brother would do the clearing up afterwards
On a saturday night and a sunday or when we had guests we would sit at the dining table
I hope to do the same with our kids
Suspended
Your house sounds better than mine - I'd get accused of treating the place like a hotel, and I always let my parents know when I'd be in for dinner, I almost always cleared everything away after the meal, and I did a share of the cooking. Perhaps you can give me some insight into what I might be doing wrong, because my parents sure as hell won't!Sequoia said: