Mental health affected.

[Theundecided]

I raised a grievance in my old workplace, then left for a new job. I received the statements etc and have found most staff members I worked with have lied and back the other party as well as making up stuff against me and saying nasty things about me. My mental health was rock bottom before, has improved immensely since a new job and now I just can't stop crying. I can't sleep and it's affecting my mental health massively again. I can guess what the outcome is going to be and know I can appeal but idk if I can cope with it all again. My support network are encouraging me to do it but idk if i have it in me to fight anymore. Im so tempted to just drop everything but then will it look like ive made it all up? I have no idea what to do!

 

[HangTime]

I would first of all ask yourself what you have to gain from the grievance procedure - if you win how does that benefit you and is it worth the hassle and stress compared with just focusing on your new job and getting on with life?
Conversely if you drop the grievance, do you really care if it looks like you've made it all up? You have stated that most of your former colleagues are liars and siding with the other party so presumably their opinion means little to you.
Note that withdrawing a grievance isn't an admission that it's a falsification, so I wouldn't worry too much about that.

 

[Bear]

If its going to cause you more anguish, then its probably better for you to drop it. You've left and are in a better place for it, its water under the bridge now. Get on with your life and consign it to the past.

If you go ahead with it, it sounds like its stacked against you with all the lies, so it probably wont be the resolution you would want anyway.

 

[randomshenans]

I would first of all ask yourself what you have to gain from the grievance procedure - if you win how does that benefit you and is it worth the hassle and stress compared with just focusing on your new job and getting on with life?

Move on.

Like Hangtime said, what have you got to gain? You have a new job, you removed yourself from the situation, concentrate on your new position and being out of the situation. It literally has no good points to push on with the grievance. You may feel like you want closure, but what's to gain really? All the time it's ongoing it'll cause you and only you stress. I lost a court battle on a house, that was not our issue, it was a financial consultant's fault who gave us awful advice. That cost us 17.5k! For nothing. Literally 2 years of worry, stress and it got me very down. We were told we could fight and appeal. Did I? No. I had 2yrs of this and I didn't want another 2yrs of fighting. It only affects us and no one else. You have to chalk it down to part of life and work out what's more important. Winning, what's right, or your mental health?

 

[Ayahuasca]

Doesn't sound like something worth fighting, it will drag you down even further and even if you win it's not going to make much difference to your life.

If past colleagues want to believe you've made it up, then they can't have much life/work experience as these things get dropped more often than not.

 

[Lysander]

I imagine the main issue is that you feel betrayed by your colleagues. Remember that in most companies [not all, but most] people don't have friends, only colleagues. You can seemingly get on well with people for years only to find out later that they'll stab you in the back at a moment's notice. People just 'get on' with others because they have to at work, and they can put on a bloody good show of it.

So it could be about work, or it could be a separate issue: maybe this has just highlighted your mistrust and disappointment in people close to you in general and it's not about work per se? My advice would be to drop it since it's highly likely to cause you more angst in the long run, and speak to your GP about your mental health and go through the stories you've related here. It's just one phone call and can start off a surprisingly beneficial process.

 

[Cooler running]

A few questions.

I can guess what the outcome is going to be

I can appeal

i have it in me to fight anymore. Im so tempted to just drop everything but then will it look like ive made it all up? I have no idea what to do!

What wrong? You say you got a boost from your new job, but also that you need to fight.
Are you saying your scared or upset by the thought of having to battle for position within your new business in the future or is there an existing problem?

Although it is true that there are plenty of backstabbing monstrosities out there, nothing is set in stone. If you're getting on alright at the moment, you can just chill and get on with life. If the world tries to fight you for the cloths on your back, just do as you have in the past and be on your way.
You've proved to yourself already that you're strong enough to move on, value that.

Im so tempted to just drop everything

I can't tell you how plausible this is for your situation, but personally I value the order that working life instils in me.
Make sure you're doing this to explore for a better tomorrow, not just to spite yourself.
Trust me when I say, I know self-hatred, retched seething malice towards one's self, you're not doing yourself or the world any favours by though flagellation.

 

[Hades]

I helped someone at an old workplace file a grievance for bullying (I had previously left the company but she was still there and was asking for my advice). Ultimately she did lose the case but she doesn't regret raising it. In her situation, even though she lost the case, she was moved to another area (which she wanted) and HR have made sure they don't work together since. It was stressful and took a lot of her energy. But the main question I had for her at the start was whether she would look back and regret not at least trying. So that's a similar question I think you need to ask yourself.

Even if you lose, would you regret not trying? If the answer is that you would regret not trying then you should consider continuing with it. It's hard for us to suggest the right course of action and ultimately it's a decision for you. But have a think about how you would feel in, say, five years. The answer may be that you prefer to just move on and forget the past.