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Theres something fantastic about running through infantry with your lance on a heavy warhorse. I go back to M&B every so often
^ yeh the lance tournaments are annoying imo. Great game though overall, once you get going it gets a lot better.
You really need to join a faction!
I joined the Vaegirs. I built up my rep within the faction by going on campaign with them and eventually I was made Marshall. When you are marshall you can direct the campaign, i.e the other lords of that faction will follow you and join you in sieging cities/castles.
When you conquer a city/castle you can request that the king awards it to you. Initially he will every time, but eventually he will refuse and this will give you the opportunity to rebel and start your own kingdom.
That what I did, I now own 75% of the map! When you have you own kingdom you can recruit other lords to join you. (your chance of successfully recruiting is aided by them liking you and having a high honour rating).