moving girlfriend in?

women are bat out of hell crazy...mad as a bag of spanners.. need evidence? check my previous threads.

But apparently the crazier outside of the bedroom they are....the hotter in the sack they are too....swings and roundabouts ehh :D

They are governed far far more by their hormones...and really if she says one thing expect her to change her mind very quickly...they can go from insanely happy to mad...depressed in the blink of an eye. Dont really take what they say seriously to be honest...but always keep a bar of chocolate in your pocket for emergencies :D
 
Go to a lawyer and put you house into trust for your children. Then that way if you break up, she will not get half of your house and see cannot kick you out of the house as well.

Go to a lawyer ASP before she moves in.
 
When you finally break up and tell her she's not entitled to half the house

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q974739 said:
Actually, that might be a good way to approach this. Set her up legally as a lodger, so that she can't be kicked out at the drop of a hat. This also provides you security, because there is a defined relationship between the two of you.

This can be changed later, when/if you become further entangled. But if things go pear shaped, you have a defined unwinding route.
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I'm moving in with my girlfriend into her house and I suggested I move in as a "lodger" as I've no interest in her property and it gives me some security against being kicked out immediately if things go wrong. I'd certainly do the same if it was the other way round. It's not really any hassle to draw up a tenancy agreement and I'd be very worried if either party wasn't happy with it.
 
I rent so this isn't directly applicable, but my GF is down as a "permitted occupier" on the contract so we don't have to get credit checks etc for her. Could you not draw up something similar in writing for her?
 
[TW]Fox;27025499 said:
Thats an awful generalisation - whilst obviously there is very much an element of this in today's culture it's really unfair to imply as you've done so that pretty much all girls are like this when it's obviously not the case (It would be fairly easy to calculate which percentage of the population had posted on Reddit Gone Wild for exmaple :p).

The 'LOOK AT MEEEEEE' mentality affects guys as well as girls, too.

If you enter a relationship with so much cynicism does it not increase the chance of the outcome you fear?
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Of course it does, that's why I said I don't trust men either. Yes it also can, self fulfilling prophecies are very real if you walk around like a paranoid mess, but it depends. I say to people a lot of time how human beings are screwed up little pieces of biological mass, does that make me jaded? No. I'm not negative about it I just understand it. People are capable of amazing things and such horrible atrocities, relationships can start off feeling absolutely AMAZING then turn so dark and nasty in the blink of an eye. You don't focus on the bad you focus on the good, but just be aware the bad can and does happen so you take precautions like OP is but you don't fixate on it and become paranoid.

The problem is as human beings when emotions get involved we are incapable of making rational decisions.

People need to divorce their emotions and think about the situation rationally and logically. OP has paid for the house himself, he wants to protect it as it belongs to him.... completely justified. But then you get people shaming him saying how he doesn't trust his girlfriend, what does trusting his girlfriend have to do with him protecting his assets? So being mature and realising relationships break down means he doesn't trust her? No.

Do you shame a business for drawing up contracts so you can't sue them? WHAT YOU DON'T TRUST ME TO NOT SUE YOU FOR COMPENSATION?!!!?!?! HOW DARE YOU!!

The book emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman is very relevant to this topic, you will learn a lot about yourself and why you should not place yourself at the whims of someone's emotions. She decides one day to turn bitter and then go after his money and he is now in a precarious situation all because he decided to live in la la land of disney weddings and true love. Disney films do not reflect reality but conversely you don't also want to become to bitter and jaded. You need to reach a healthy equilibrium.
 
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I got a load of grief from my parents twenty three years ago when I moved my girlfriend in after three weeks of seeing her, lots of the "she will take half of your house" comments. We are still married and have been for twenty one years. So it can work out. Of course it is much more likely that she will take you to the cleaners :eek: Pretty sure my wife is just waiting for the optimum payout moment before she does ;)
 
jkb said:
Of course it is much more likely that she will take you to the cleaners :eek:
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I realise this was a bit of a tongue-in-cheek comment but it seems to reflect a lot of opinions in this thread.

Whilst most of us agree that leaving yourself unprotected and vulnerable is not exactly a genius move, what about the other extreme? What about people thinking "Oh well I won't bother then because it's obvious that women can't be trusted and everyone is out to get me"? Because I promise you the other end of the spectrum is equally damaging.

Cynical and ridiculous. Be practical, yes, but don't be so cynical that you bully yourself into not trying to achieve what you want. Every relationship is so completely unique that perhaps relying on past experience and over generalising alone isn't the most appropriate solution in this context. ;)
 
Of course it was tongue in cheek. I did exactly what I wanted all those years ago and didn't listen to anyone. I'm pleased I did. That's what I would do if I was the OP.
 
cheesyboy said:
Is it therefore fair that, upon breakdown of the relationship, the woman (in your example) would not be entitled to any recompense for her career sacrifice (of which the decision to forgo had been made on the basis of assets held in the relationship)?
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Since when has two people moving in together meant one of them had to sacrifice their career etc. Moving in with someone with no additional bills etc could actually make the woman better off financially, there's no way yearly bills for things like electric etc would come anywhere near the cost of renting a house or paying a mortgage, especially if they're split between 2 people (or it would be 3 ways in my case as I work from home).

And I think you're missing the point, if I had already paid for the house completely (and the other party had not) then why should the other person have rights to my house which they've paid nothing towards it's ownership. They've had the same options to buy a house as I would have done and they chose not to. Remember I said this is if there are no children involved so it's not like they've been caring for children instead of working.

In respect to your future aspect of things like a pension...There's nothing to stop the woman buying her own house while living with me, she could then rent it out for additional income/pay the mortgage. Hell I'd probably try and do the same too even if I owned a house already, get it paid off before retirement and then have a retirement income :)

You could also argue if the woman hasn't thought about her pension etc then that's just stupid, it's pretty clear the way the economy is going that we all need to consider things like money for when we're older. Besides if she's living with someone she has the spare money to put some aside, I'd be doing it and I'd be recommending she did to, it wouldn't be my fault if she wants to spend it all on clothes and holidays, which would be a shared expense and something you could as the other half say no to....
 
lsg1r said:
Since when has two people moving in together meant one of them had to sacrifice their career etc. Moving in with someone with no additional bills etc could actually make the woman better off financially, there's no way yearly bills for things like electric etc would come anywhere near the cost of renting a house or paying a mortgage, especially if they're split between 2 people (or it would be 3 ways in my case as I work from home).

And I think you're missing the point, if I had already paid for the house completely (and the other party had not) then why should the other person have rights to my house which they've paid nothing towards it's ownership. They've had the same options to buy a house as I would have done and they chose not to. Remember I said this is if there are no children involved so it's not like they've been caring for children instead of working.

In respect to your future aspect of things like a pension...There's nothing to stop the woman buying her own house while living with me, she could then rent it out for additional income/pay the mortgage. Hell I'd probably try and do the same too even if I owned a house already, get it paid off before retirement and then have a retirement income :)

You could also argue if the woman hasn't thought about her pension etc then that's just stupid, it's pretty clear the way the economy is going that we all need to consider things like money for when we're older. Besides if she's living with someone she has the spare money to put some aside, I'd be doing it and I'd be recommending she did to, it wouldn't be my fault if she wants to spend it all on clothes and holidays, which would be a shared expense and something you could as the other half say no to....
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I explained all of that in the full post - you have only quoted one bit. Go back and read it properly.
 
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