Can you telnet to the remote machine on port 1433?
This is what you wanna try ^^
If that doesnt work check that the TCP/IP service is running in Configuration Manager and verify the port its running on, run this in DOS window:
netstat -an
and look for port 1433 - or the port specified in configuration manager/tcpip, or alternatively install windows grep and grep it out of the list.
SQL Management Studio is it, I dont think there is anything close to it for free let alone better.
You might also want to look at Business Intelligence Development Studio.
You can also query the database using the command line "sql".