My Quest

[Burnsy2023]

Well, it's my birthday (20) yey!

What do most people do at this point? Spend time with family? Well, not me.

Some of you may remember long while ago I posted a ongoing autobiography of my life and may remember that I currently have no contact with any of my family whatsoever.

With Christmas coming and going I realised that I'm missing a huge chunk of myself. My mum emigrated back to Germany when I was 16, just before I was going to do my GCSE's and I couldn't speak the language so education in an alien country was not an viable thing for my career. My mum was adament that I was coming with her and wouldn't entertain the idea of staying in England until I was 18. So I slept over my best friends house when she was due to leave. I wasn't sure if she would stay and wait for me or not. I havn't seen her since.

I have two brothers Danny & Tim and sister called Vanessa. I havn't seen my brothers since I was 4 but I saw my sister briefly once when I was 11. There was a custody battle and my mother lost, which is why we lost contact. As you can imagine this broke my mum in every way possible.

Well, I did a lot of thinking over the Christmas holidays and made a resolution. I am going to find my sister and brothers and then we will hopefully all find my mum. My sister made an effort to find me when I was 11 (which was a very strange experience) and so I am going to find her first. I have so many questions for her.

So, I got in contact with the Salvation Army Family Tracing Service, who have a reputation for being able to find long lost relatives. I got an application form through, but I have found out that the minimum information they need is a name, DOB and last known address (Cholchester, Essex) . I know her name, and remember some of her address from when I was 11, but I'm sad to say I have no idea when she was born.

I know all of my siblings were born in Germany, so I e-mailed the German embassy for help. It's been nearly a full week and I've had nothing. So, after the Uni exams I'm going to make a trip to the Embassy in London and see if they can help face to face.

So, what's the point of this thread? Well, I feel that a problem told is a problem halved and talking to all you lot helps in itself. And, of course, any advice is appriciated.

I just want to say that most of you here don't know how lucky you are to have family to talk to and love. Please, don't waste the time you have with them.

Burnsy

 

[MNuTz]

I wasn't sure if she would stay and wait for me or not. I havn't seen her since.

TBH, if my mum just left like that im not sure i would want to see her again, but kudos to you for being bigger than that.

I have two brothers Danny & Tim and sister called Vanessa. I havn't seen my brothers since I was 4 but I saw my sister briefly once when I was 11. I know her name, and remember some of her address from when I was 11, but I'm sad to say I have no idea when she was born.

I know all of my siblings were born in Germany

You need a website, with whatever info you have including there full names, and have it in german as well.

Without knowing everything to do with the case its hard to help. After the custody battle did they stay in england or go back to germany? How old would they be now?

Share what info you have on here, including her part address. You never know, there may be a very slim chance someone knows them.

One thing i could suggest if you can remember what town/city that your sister lived in when she was 11 is that you get in touch with local newspapers, see if they can write a little story about it and to maybe get in touch with primary and secondary schools in the area.

All i can say is that my parents split when i was 9, my dad is seriously messed up and i have cut him out of my life altogether. I really wouldnt want that around my kids, it hurts really not being aable to share time with him but tbh i wouldnt even know what to say to him anymore. I hope you have some luck and if i can be of any help in your search, just ask.

 

[Steeps]

I remember reading some of the posts before and I have much respect for you, being the same age as you I could not imagine going through all of that. I hope that you are successful in finding your family and I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated

 

[Burnsy2023]

TBH, if my mum just left like that im not sure i would want to see her again, but kudos to you for being bigger than that.

It's really not as clear cut as that, my mum didn't take the death of my grandmother very well and she got a lot of racial abuse from various people locally (which makes my blood boil). She was quite frankly homesick and missing her family as well. I don't blame her for what she did. In all fairness it was probably best for both of us, although it could have been on better terms.

One thing i could suggest if you can remember what town/city that your sister lived in when she was 11 is that you get in touch with local newspapers, see if they can write a little story about it and to maybe get in touch with primary and secondary schools in the area.

It was when I was 11, she was @ uni at the time. I edited the OP, as far as I know she lived in Colchester after the custody battle for as long as I can tell. I think the road was something like Cannon Road/street or something like that. I'm surprised I remember it, after all it was nearly a decade ago.

How old would they be now?

I've been thinking about this, and TBH I really don't know. She must be at least about 26, but probably not into her 30's.

Burnsy

 

[Burnsy2023]

I remember reading some of the posts before and I have much respect for you, being the same age as you I could not imagine going through all of that. I hope that you are successful in finding your family and I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us updated

It means a lot to read post like this, I really do appricate it.

Burnsy

 

[oneilldo]

Is it worth trying friends re-united as well when you get some more info.

 

[Burnsy2023]

I was pondering about backup plans if I can't get anything out of the Embassy. One possible alternative is to write an e-mail to Radio1 and see if they can help. A bit drastic and public, but if it comes to that then so be it.

Burnsy

 

[siscid]

Dude that sounds like an adventure and a half!

I really hope you find your family, man. It sounds like you really want to find them and you will! just keep your head up man seriously you will find them if you want to find them.

When you want something really badly the oppertunities and situtations will arise for you to enable you to complete your goal. That is a fact!

So dont quit dude.. and keep us posted

 

[Burnsy2023]

Dude that sounds like an adventure and a half!

You don't know the half of it.

Shame you havn't been on here longer, the autobiography was a good insight into my life. I really must get around to working on it.

Burnsy

 

[siscid]

You don't know the half of it.

Shame you havn't been on here longer, the autobiography was a good insight into my life. I really must get around to working on it.

Burnsy

Cool id like to take a read of it any links you could hook me up with?

siscid

 

[trojan698]

Glad to hear it, people waste so much time not talking over petty things and misunderstandings. I'm sure you'll find your family, good luck