My Turn: Joke!

Morba

Morba

Morba

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Yes, a potential ban coming for a really crap joke thread:

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site on an afternoon. Murphy is bored and says to Paddy 'I'm going to pretend im mental so the boss sends me home', he then climbs up the scaffolding and swings around shouting 'I'm a lightbulb, i'm a lightbulb'.
The foreman shouts at Murphy to get down 'Murphy! You're mental, go home!', Murphy gets down and goes home.
10 mins later Paddy takes off his hat and walks out the gate past the foreman, the foreman asks where he thinks he is going, Paddy replies 'I'm off home, I can't work in the dark!'

Be gentle!
 
Are all Irish people this stupid? Surely the lights worked perfectly well wether or not the first guy went home or not because he wasn't, after all, a lightbulb.

I don't believe this really happened at all.
 
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all builders working on a bridge. The Englishman opens his lunch-box and says, "If I get one more tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Scotsman opens his lunch box and says, "If I get one more ham sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Irishman then says, "If I get one more egg sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The next day, all three get the same lunch, all three jump off the bridge, and all three die. At their funeral, the Englishman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like tuna." The Scotsman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like ham." The Irishman's wife says, "I don't understand it. He made his own sandwiches."
 
Rich_L said:
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all builders working on a bridge. The Englishman opens his lunch-box and says, "If I get one more tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Scotsman opens his lunch box and says, "If I get one more ham sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Irishman then says, "If I get one more egg sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The next day, all three get the same lunch, all three jump off the bridge, and all three die. At their funeral, the Englishman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like tuna." The Scotsman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like ham." The Irishman's wife says, "I don't understand it. He made his own sandwiches."
Click to expand...

hehe i like :D
 
Another paddy and murphy classic:

Paddy and Murphy were walking along the road when they met a man with a HUGE fish over his shoulder. 'Where did you catch that fish?' asked Paddy, the man pointed over his shoulder and said 'Under that there bridge'.
Murphy says to Paddy 'Come on, you hold me legs over the bridge and I'll catch a fish'.
10 mins later Paddy shouts 'Caught anything yet?' 'No!' replies Murphy.
Suddenly Murphy shouts 'Paddy quick, pull me up!!', 'Have you caught a fish?' asks Paddy.
'No!' shouts Murphy, 'A train is coming!!'
 
As someone who has a thirtieth or whatever Irish blood, I demand you apologise and cease your racist drivel, before I sue for compensation for the stress you've caused me.
 
platypus said:
As someone who has a thirtieth or whatever Irish blood, I demand you apologise and cease your racist drivel, before I sue for compensation for the stress you've caused me.
Click to expand...

Shh you. Haven't you got a pot of gold to be chasing at the end of some rainbow?
And no, i don't want my drive tarmac'd
 
Morba said:
Another paddy and murphy classic:

Paddy and Murphy were walking along the road when they met a man with a HUGE fish over his shoulder. 'Where did you catch that fish?' asked Paddy, the man pointed over his shoulder and said 'Under that there bridge'.
Murphy says to Paddy 'Come on, you hold me legs over the bridge and I'll catch a fish'.
10 mins later Paddy shouts 'Caught anything yet?' 'No!' replies Murphy.
Suddenly Murphy shouts 'Paddy quick, pull me up!!', 'Have you caught a fish?' asks Paddy.
'No!' shouts Murphy, 'A train is coming!!'
Click to expand...


Do these people never learn? This is even less believeable than the previous story about these two hapless men! Why on earth would two adults try to catch a fish if they were (1) not equipped to do with the requisite rod and bait, and (2) trying to fish for fish in an area not well known for its fishing, i.e. a railway track!

Both stories relating to Paddy and Murphy (if those even are their real names!) sound very unlikely and I find it almost unbelievable in this day and age of the internet they have not learned a better way of doing things which doesn't, frankly, end up in a farcical mess.

:mad:

edit : As Scuzi says, this so-called story is losing credibility be the second!
 
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