Need to rant..

West

West

West

Soldato
Joined
22 Dec 2004
Posts
9,172
Location
Rugeley, Staffs
So, i've just had to call an Ambulance for my Dad...

The complete idiot decided it was a good idea to take some pro-plus then on top of that, open the extra thick Domestos and give that a swig too..

Both him and my Mother havn't stopped arguing the past couple of weeks, I am in no doubt that their marriage is over... its been coming past few years, the arguing getting slowly worse because of my mums mental state. Shes accusing him of 'Playing Away' with certain females that openly solicit themselves, as well as with women at work i've tried not getting involved, but she is so wrong.. I know it.

I've come to the point where I dont want to be at home, and I just spend as many days at work as I can.. moving out isnt an option at the moment.. stupid car (:o) and to be honest if they decide to share the spoils, i'll have no home.. i've argued with my mum more than anything, because I honestly think she is in the wrong, her mental health is the issue, she suffers from Paranoia and obsessive behaiviour.

I'm 2 for 2 now with both of them, as my mother has OD'd on tablets in the past before, and I had to call an ambulance then, i'm so angry at him at the minute for the position he put me in and the way he was acting.. he was being violent towarwd me, My sister and my Mum... I hate him for what he was doing, I'm first aid trained for that sort of thing but the last person I expected to use it on was my own Dad. An hour ago i was ready to smash him one clean in the face..

As much as I wish I could move out, I can't i'm trying my hardest now to stay neutral, but with what has just happened, and if it comes round again I really dont know what to do, and if they split up where I am supposed to go.. :(

Edit: I also appologise if bits of this dont make sense.. running on adrenaline atm lol
 
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Not a lot you can do I think, except to looking after yourself and your sister even if it means having to lean on a friend for a sofa to sleep on. Sounds like they're in a very destructive cycle and both need professional help :(
 
Awful position to be in, I don't envy you that one bit.

Have they sought counselling? You could perhaps do the same. See your GP, he should be able to help. Even if you don't think it is something that could help because you're not the issue, it is sometimes worthwhile simply to talk about things with someone that knows how to answer certain questions.

Of course, we'll be here to listen too.
 
Don't know your age but a terrible situation to find yourself in no matter how old/young you are. Can't really offer any advice except keep strong, try to be there for both of them as the last thing either of them need when going through something like this is for them to feel your taking sides. Keep well and I really do hope things improve for you personally sooner rather than later. :(
 
you need to "try" and be supportive for both sides, I say try cos its not easy. you gotta be there when they argue and help point out the blatantly obvious, the stupid reasons they are arguing over and the rest. my parents argue all the time but thats how they work, I kinda laugh at them now when they argue because I know THEY dont mean it. its obvious your parents don't either because they are trying so hard to keep it together and failing so badly but still try to carry on.

I feel sorry for your father, I cant imagine how hard it is for him and your mother because you and your sister might be caught in the middle of it all but you wont feel half as much heart ache as either of them. I sat both of my parents down before and said that I thought they should get a divorce cos things were so bad and they both broke down in tears. but that makes you realise then that they argue so much because they want it to work how ever bad it gets. not many couples can put up with things like that. lots of people react in different ways but, you gotta remember about whats going through their mind and how they feel, because making them feel better will make life for you easier. "playing my part" my dad said it was to me :p but all I done was try to break the barriers between them. trying to turn an argument into something less personal etc.

if your mum has obsessive compulsive disorder then your family needs to work around it as it is unavoidable.

hope it helps anyway
 
Pro plus + Domestos seems an odd way to try to kill yourself, if that is indeed what he was trying to do. Sounds like a one-way street to excruciating pain more than anything else.

May I ask what type of tablets your mother O/D'ed on?
 
seek said:
Pro plus + Domestos seems an odd way to try to kill yourself, if that is indeed what he was trying to do. Sounds like a one-way street to excruciating pain more than anything else.

May I ask what type of tablets your mother O/D'ed on?
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yeah as bad as i sounds drinking bleach/corrosives is one of the worst ways to go as it depends on breaching the stomach and letting the enzymes inside digest the organs.
 
That's a terrible thing to have happened, but I think you deserve a lot of admiration for managing to save both your mother's and your father's life on two separate occasions! You're angry now and I don't blame you, but you did what you had to do and that's what matters. I know you feel like this isn't your responsibility and it's selfish of them to put you in this situation, but if you move out and something tragic happens you'll blame yourself for the rest of your life! Stay strong and take care of them, and seek professional help ASAP!
 
The first instance with my mother was a good few years ago now.. but I really dont know what she took, all I know is the ambulance came over and they took her to hospital and she had her stomoch pumped.

Last night my Dad was trying to proove a point with my mum, doing the same thing as it were.. the fact that she was accusing my dad of having an affair.. she was constantly asking for the truth, and my dad was being addimant that he wasnt doing anything, and in all honesty I believe him.

Luckily I stopped him from trying to throw up and the Ambulance was here inside 15 minutes, he didnt drink a lot of the Bleech so he didnt have to go into hospital..

Theres been no rows today, but I havnt come out of my bedroom yet, my dad is off work (First time in 3/4 years I might add) i'm also off to work at 2, so I seriously hope nothing kicks off whilst i'm not here..
 
you have to move out mate, you are working whats stopping you? If i was in your situation the car would be gone today even if it did cost me a few k and set me back a few months
 
I'm working but majority of my income goes straight into my car.. still have a loan out-standing on it..
 
I feel real sorry for you ... I wish I could help out more but I can't, all I can say is for now try and minimize your outgoings and maximize your income and when the time is nigh - move out.
 
West said:
I'm working but majority of my income goes straight into my car.. still have a loan out-standing on it..
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In hindsight perhaps a cheaper & more affordable car would have been better.

You have my sympathy as I have both suffered from and seen the effects of mental health problems. Make sure your health doesn't suffer as well.
 
markyp23 said:
Sorry to here that - sounds like a rough situation to be in. Don't think you could take some time out for a holiday or something?

Wonder if Fox will bother with the pig ignorant comment about your car finance on this one occassion. I'm hoping not. :)
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Already planning to... got 2 weeks off in March, planning to do some stuff whilst i'm off. Althogh be honest, i'm starting to think Fox is right.. the bank loan still has another 2 ana half years to run... so I think when it comes down to being able to sell it and pay the loan off... i'll just get something else and start thinking about getting my own place. Because more cars will be open to me in the next year or so...

As much as I am comfortable, because to be honest I am.. my parents are happy for me to pay as much as I do, and the cash wouldnt be doing anything else if I didnt have the car, I have a social life so I think its just going to be a case of spending time away from the house when I can.. either working extra or just going out more.. and just hope that my mum can sort herself out.
 
you are quite young to have to deal with this, do you not have any other family you could move in with for a while, taking your younger sister too? I also think that you both could do with some counseling are you at college? they would have a counsellor.

I hope things work out for you and your family.
 
camels5 said:
you are quite young to have to deal with this, do you not have any other family you could move in with for a while, taking your younger sister too? I also think that you both could do with some counseling are you at college? they would have a counsellor.

I hope things work out for you and your family.
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Nah...

I currently work full time shifts in a Call Centre.. (I'm 19)
Sister has just started a job as a secratary and already spends most of her time at her Boyfreinds.. (Shes 17)
Dad is full time Employed as well as having a part time job
Mother doesnt have a job..

I dont really wanna put this on any of the rest of the family, simply as most of them are OAPs, and the rest I barely speak to..

They're at home at the moment, i'm sat in work and my sister is at her Bfs.. so im hoping they're taking the chance to sort things out without getting to where they did last night...
 
It sounds like they both need some help. You don't drink bleach if you're ok imo and your mother doesn't sound well either. I was in a similar situation as a child and it lasted for over 15 years, wasn't nice and had a huge impact on me. Don't let yourself get hurt too.
 
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