News: Confusing Courts - Divorce

[platypus]

That's a very quaint, old fashioned view isn't it?

Nope.

Can you not proclaim your undying love another way?

Marriage was just one of the ways in which I can.

Marriage originated from controlling populations and women and deserves to be shoved into the history books IMO. Show your devotion in a more unique way.

Perhaps you should actually read some history books, because Marriage certainly didn't originate from controlling populations and women.

I would go so far as to say that religion certainly subjugated the process but then I'm not religious and we don't have a religious marriage so I couldn't care less. I think people seem to think that marriage is purely part of the Church process, which for many it isn't. Take China for example. The Marriage law in China introduced choice (arranged marriages being the highest number before), and enforced equality. That can't be a bad thing can it?

 

[Dj_Jestar]

How many times a day do you hear "men are all....", "Why do men do ...." ?

What is with this stupid trend of saying "a women" ?

Woman is the singular form, women the plural.

 

[Schlong&Stable]

Is this court saying as a unofficially that marriage is no more an agreement of love than two corporate entities sharing assets?

Suppose marriage is dead then, hilarious going's on at the moment.

Marriage was historically as much a business transaction as anything else. In the states eyes, that is all it is. Its not the place of governments to mandate for emotions such as 'love'.

 

[Haggisman]

Marriage was historically as much a business transaction as anything else. In the states eyes, that is all it is. Its not the place of governments to mandate for emotions such as 'love'.

Exactly - it was used to tie the interests of families together. None of this love nonsense, it was simply a way of ensuring your neighbours didn't steal your crops and making sure they had your back in times of war!

 

[fez]

Marriage is a tricky one because ultimately it means diddly squat. I have had this discussion with a few people who believe that if you love someone you should get married and I have yet to be convinced of it. You can get married and divorced the next day. It doesn't show any level of commitment above and beyond what you were already willing to show.

If your marriage is a happy one then you are likely to say that marriage is great and you are glad you did it. If your marriage has ended or you are unhappy in it you are likely to say otherwise.

Personally I think its quite sad that society feels that a marriage is more valid than simply being in a long term relationship with a partner you love. Financially you benefit from being married but if thats a driving factor for you then the actual point of marriage is being twisted.

 

[platypus]

Personally I think its quite sad that society feels that a marriage is more valid than simply being in a long term relationship with a partner you love.

That I don't disagree with at all, and think it very unfair that married couples do get certain privileges enshrined in law.

 

[fez]

That I don't disagree with at all, and think it very unfair that married couples do get certain privileges enshrined in law.

I often wonder how many men propose because A) Its the done thing B) pressure from the gf and family.

I don't think my brother would have got married if it wasn't so important to his missus and because everyone was constantly mentioning it. I get the impression that sometimes the woman feels like a failure and that it is a reflection of her if she is not married when she has been in a relationship for a number of years. People will ask her "when is he going to propose" and she will see her friends getting married and wonder why her boyfriend doesn't love her enough to pop the question.

 

[Tefal]

When you divorce you ensure that you get the financial break as well...its simple enough.

Which requires both partners consent so what about when she refuses to sign waiting for a future pay out?

 

[Castiel]

Which requires both partners consent so what about when she refuses to sign waiting for a future pay out?

You get a Clean Break Order judgement. Just like my father-in-law did.

 

[mattyg]

Surely if a Financial remedy order is standard practice then can't you sue the original lawyers for NOT doing their job in protecting their clients interests.

If they don't do their job properly then why use a lawyer in the first place.

I saw a sign outside a law firm in Wigan last week "Quickie Divorces £495". WTF

 

[Hagar]

I'd love to know more details on the son. Divorced 20 years ago. "16 years of real hardship". where is he now? did you kick him out at 18? Has he already paid x amount to cover the upbringing of their son?

If the son wasn't involved I'd say shes just a money grabber who frankly cannot handle the fact he made something of himself after he ditched her.

According to a R4 interview this morning, the son is employed by his father and has been for some years. He financially supported the son as well as he could at the time and the son lived part time with the father.

The ex wife / mother owns her own house with equity, ie not mortgaged to the hilt.

He blames his ex wifes lawyers for 'ambulance chasing' the claim, the legal bills for both sides are currently circa £500k which he is underwriting himself. Her lawyers are the same company that represented princess Diana so probably do not come cheap.

No court records still exist from the divorce settlement.

 

[Amp34]

Nope.

Marriage was just one of the ways in which I can.

Perhaps you should actually read some history books, because Marriage certainly didn't originate from controlling populations and women.

I would go so far as to say that religion certainly subjugated the process but then I'm not religious and we don't have a religious marriage so I couldn't care less. I think people seem to think that marriage is purely part of the Church process, which for many it isn't. Take China for example. The Marriage law in China introduced choice (arranged marriages being the highest number before), and enforced equality. That can't be a bad thing can it?

I suggest you re-read your sources personally. It was always about control, both from the religious side, the state side or the family side. Love is a relatively modern part of marriage in most cultures. I still find it horrendus that raping your wife wasn't made illegal until the 80s!

Marriage has got this romantic notion about it when the majority of marriage down the ages was about money and power. The rights of the woman, well there weren't really any in most countries until relatively recently, you did what your father told you to do, and subsequently your husband.

Either way marriage is not something I'm particularly interested in. If I want to show my undying love I'll show it in a way that isn't expected of a longer term relationship...

 

[Amp34]

Marriage is a tricky one because ultimately it means diddly squat. I have had this discussion with a few people who believe that if you love someone you should get married and I have yet to be convinced of it. You can get married and divorced the next day. It doesn't show any level of commitment above and beyond what you were already willing to show.

If your marriage is a happy one then you are likely to say that marriage is great and you are glad you did it. If your marriage has ended or you are unhappy in it you are likely to say otherwise.

Personally I think its quite sad that society feels that a marriage is more valid than simply being in a long term relationship with a partner you love. Financially you benefit from being married but if thats a driving factor for you then the actual point of marriage is being twisted.

I'd go as far to say getting a mortgage between a couple is by far the bigger commitment than marriage nowadays. Getting out of one of those is going to be far more costly and long winded than divorce...

That I don't disagree with at all, and think it very unfair that married couples do get certain privileges enshrined in law.

Many more "progressive" countries now have common law, which gives couples most of the financial and state related benefits that come with marriage, without the marriage part (tax breaks etc.), usually just by living together. We need more of that in the UK.

 

[peige]

Common law wife stuff is very weak over here afaik, I sought advice due to changing personal circumstance and was basically told this. This is the way it should be though, years ago a gf moved in and lived with me for a year (or rather lived off of me) when we split she thought she was due half my house. She had never paid for a thing.

The bit I don't get is the ones who avoid paying at all for their children and are proud of it. It doesn't matter if she remarries, that is still your child which you are responsible for. You should get access and you should pay maintenance of a reasonable amount. The only time I disagree is when your not aloud to see the kid or the child is poisoned against you. I have a brother in law who is paying for two daughters, there mum has made sure they hate him and refuse to see him.. he's one of the nicest people you could meet.

 

[CREATIVE!11]

I blame this all on the the scum I call divorce solicitors, there worse than estate agents and just try and extract every penny from you . Not once during my divorce that cost me £10500 in legal fees did my solicitor tell me about a financial remedy order with leads me to believe they don't to drum up repeat business. I place them firmly in the same bracket as used car sales men , estate agents and financial advisers.

Wedding costs a bomb which is basically a glorified party, then divorce costs 10k too.....

LOL count me out.

I often wonder how many men propose because A) Its the done thing B) pressure from the gf and family.

I don't think my brother would have got married if it wasn't so important to his missus and because everyone was constantly mentioning it. I get the impression that sometimes the woman feels like a failure and that it is a reflection of her if she is not married when she has been in a relationship for a number of years. People will ask her "when is he going to propose" and she will see her friends getting married and wonder why her boyfriend doesn't love her enough to pop the question.

Definitely was pressure. I think it's a MASSIVE influencing factor in peoples lives and unless you are aware of how social pressure works you will just unconsciously follow and cave into it. Marriage is a massive one that gets shoved down your throat by people.

Common law wife stuff is very weak over here afaik, I sought advice due to changing personal circumstance and was basically told this. This is the way it should be though, years ago a gf moved in and lived with me for a year (or rather lived off of me) when we split she thought she was due half my house. She had never paid for a thing.

Oh lawd....... another story. That makes about 4 or so in this thread already.... Also part about the 2 daughters my mums boyfriend is in the same boat. Won't let him see his kid and she claims maintenance off him which cripples him.

*Thumbs up*

 

[platypus]

Some weddings can cost a bomb.

 

[Hades]

Speaking as someone whose marriage is going through a bit of a rough time and I fully expect will head south in a few years I hope my children never get married. In today's society I can't see much benefit in it, particularly for the man. It's great when you're in the early throes of the relationship but years down the line you realise how constricting it is. I wouldn't do it again.

Some weddings can cost a bomb.

Mine cost a few hundred pounds. Neither of us could see the point in spending money on others simply to show the world we were getting married. We blew thousands on a fantastic honeymoon though. But that was for our benefit.

 

[Terrier_Jimlad]

If I had that sort of money, she would be shot

 

[Haggisman]

If I had that sort of money, she would be shot of me in an instant and take most of it with her

Fixed!

 

[fez]

Quite astounding that he is having to foot the legal bill for both parties. There is no incentive for her to stop the claim at any point no matter what the outcome. In fact there is plenty of reason for her to just keep this going as long as possible simply to cost him more money.