NO, now its my turn for telling a joke!

dymetrie said:
*attempts to save the thread*

Wisdom from a country doctor.

A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, You have AIDS."

The cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and says, "Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, a box of Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

The cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your **** is for."

:D
 
Phantom said:
Long story short -> Jebus = Jesus for the stupid (unless an honest typo) :p

I wouldn't say that "s" and "b" are exactly close on the keyboard so claiming a typo proves nothing! That would then only leave stupid to apply to me, or a joke. :p
 
dymetrie said:
*attempts to save the thread*

Wisdom from a country doctor.

A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, You have AIDS."

The cowboy tugs at his Stetson and sets his jaw and says, "Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, a box of Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

The cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your **** is for."


owldynomite.jpg
 
My turn....


A man has been feeling ill for quite some time, so he decides to go to the doctors. The doctor says "Its bad news I'm afraid, you've got AIDs and Alzheimers." The man replies "Well at least I don't have AIDs!"
 
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground
when he finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fianc¨¦e is still a virgin in every way."

The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."

So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.

She says, "You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts."

He whips down his pants and says... " Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"
 
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