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Vanquish-Storm said:
Congratulations! Do you feel prepared with it being sudden?

We are at 36 almost 37 weeks and after a routine check are not coming out of the hospital. Even though we have everything and what not just feel a little under prepared.
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Nope! But we’re getting there.

I was in the middle of getting the nursery ready, he won’t be in there for the a while but we don’t have any space for his stuff until it’s done.
Had to go and get a load of things today, we thought we’d definitely get everything sorted with more than 2 weeks remaining. We were wrong.
 
Yaayuh! said:
Nope! But we’re getting there.

I was in the middle of getting the nursery ready, he won’t be in there for the a while but we don’t have any space for his stuff until it’s done.
Had to go and get a load of things today, we thought we’d definitely get everything sorted with more than 2 weeks remaining. We were wrong.
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Aw nice one pal all the best :) I get what you mean. There will be something we have forgotten haha!
 
theone8181 said:
Any reason you're not going for a normal nursery, surely it would be cheaper than paying for a child minder?
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Obviously varies by area I expect but based on the price quoted it sounds roughly similar sort of price to nursery to me assuming you have them in there the same amount of hours a nursery charge you for. If you decided to use a slightly slimmer set of hours e.g. 9 - 3 or something like that, it would work out a little cheaper than nursery. But that being said it feels to me like a nursery are better equipped and (depending on the nursery) more likely to do a lot of varied activities, trips out etc. with them and that experience may be worth the extra
 
dLockers said:
Any further thoughts on the above chaps? Need to sign the agreement tomorrow...
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Assuming they are self employed I don't think you should be paying for their holidays, if it was your gardener or cleaner you would not be paying for their holiday I would also be concerned about arrangements for when they are sick / personal emergencies etc.
 
theone8181 said:
Any reason you're not going for a normal nursery, surely it would be cheaper than paying for a child minder?
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2 year waiting list...

I basically live in the baby boomer capital for those who left London. I guess I'm also guilty of that so can't really complain!

Did another quick Google and apparently it is common where I live...mainly because they can get away with it.

I guess at least I know it's 1200/mo and can budget accordingly :(
 
Hit a bit of a quandary. My work have been put right in the thick of it due to my son coming early. However, they could’ve been in a better situation had they not run the department so thinly and they knew I had paternity coming soon.

I checked my emails a few times the first couple of days to send some info they need and answer some questions they had but thats just given them an inch, now they’re going for the mile.

Im the only person that can do a couple of tasks they need doing. I.e they have new people starting who won’t be able to work without me sorting them out.

I’m not really in the position to work to sort this out. It’s several hours work, I’m in the hospital with my partner 10 hours a day and there’s stuff mounting up at home that needs sorting.

On one hand. Stuff them, family comes first and they helped create this situation.

On the other hand, It’s my work at the end of the day, so do I want to go back to a toxic environment? Especially as I’m going to need to ask/tell them I need two weeks extension to paternity (unpaid).
 
dLockers said:
2 year waiting list...

I basically live in the baby boomer capital for those who left London. I guess I'm also guilty of that so can't really complain!

Did another quick Google and apparently it is common where I live...mainly because they can get away with it.

I guess at least I know it's 1200/mo and can budget accordingly :(
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just make sure you use the gov.uk gateway childcare account. as it gives you £500 top up every 3months.
 
Yaayuh! said:
Hit a bit of a quandary. My work have been put right in the thick of it due to my son coming early. However, they could’ve been in a better situation had they not run the department so thinly and they knew I had paternity coming soon.

I checked my emails a few times the first couple of days to send some info they need and answer some questions they had but thats just given them an inch, now they’re going for the mile.

Im the only person that can do a couple of tasks they need doing. I.e they have new people starting who won’t be able to work without me sorting them out.

I’m not really in the position to work to sort this out. It’s several hours work, I’m in the hospital with my partner 10 hours a day and there’s stuff mounting up at home that needs sorting.

On one hand. Stuff them, family comes first and they helped create this situation.

On the other hand, It’s my work at the end of the day, so do I want to go back to a toxic environment? Especially as I’m going to need to ask/tell them I need two weeks extension to paternity (unpaid).
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Tell them to pay you full wage and work my home/hospital. I assume you're on paternity pay now?
 
Yaayuh! said:
Hit a bit of a quandary. My work have been put right in the thick of it due to my son coming early. However, they could’ve been in a better situation had they not run the department so thinly and they knew I had paternity coming soon.

I checked my emails a few times the first couple of days to send some info they need and answer some questions they had but thats just given them an inch, now they’re going for the mile.

Im the only person that can do a couple of tasks they need doing. I.e they have new people starting who won’t be able to work without me sorting them out.

I’m not really in the position to work to sort this out. It’s several hours work, I’m in the hospital with my partner 10 hours a day and there’s stuff mounting up at home that needs sorting.

On one hand. Stuff them, family comes first and they helped create this situation.

On the other hand, It’s my work at the end of the day, so do I want to go back to a toxic environment? Especially as I’m going to need to ask/tell them I need two weeks extension to paternity (unpaid).
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If it wasn't for the two weeks extension you need to ask for then the easy answer IMO is stuff work. If the new people can't work then they'll just have to do their best to not be completely useless. This sounds like it's down to crap planning by your superiors as they will have known miles in advance that you'd be on paternity.

How long have you known that you'll need another 2 weeks extension and how come you haven't asked them yet?

Can you do something like a day or so's work after your initial 2 week paternity to kick some things off before starting your extension? Some sort of compromise along those lines will probably be needed.
 
dl8860 said:
If it wasn't for the two weeks extension you need to ask for then the easy answer IMO is stuff work. If the new people can't work then they'll just have to do their best to not be completely useless. This sounds like it's down to crap planning by your superiors as they will have known miles in advance that you'd be on paternity.

How long have you known that you'll need another 2 weeks extension and how come you haven't asked them yet?

Can you do something like a day or so's work after your initial 2 week paternity to kick some things off before starting your extension? Some sort of compromise along those lines will probably be needed.
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My son was born 5 weeks early. So only realised I’ll need the extension on the day as there’s a chance I’ll only have a few days at home with him by the time he’s released.
I did mention to work on the day he was born that my paternity leave is to be triggered immediately and that I will contact them in a few days regarding extension as soon as I have a better idea for how long.

I could do a days work to knock a few things out before I take my extension, probably going to be the compromise.
 
theone8181 said:
Tell them to pay you full wage and work my home/hospital. I assume you're on paternity pay now?
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I’m on paternity pay now.
The problem is, if I’m working, I’m not supporting.
I think a compromise of one or two allocated days after the initial paternity might be the best option. But they want/need stuff now is the issue.
 
Yaayuh! said:
My son was born 5 weeks early. So only realised I’ll need the extension on the day as there’s a chance I’ll only have a few days at home with him by the time he’s released.
I did mention to work on the day he was born that my paternity leave is to be triggered immediately and that I will contact them in a few days regarding extension as soon as I have a better idea for how long.

I could do a days work to knock a few things out before I take my extension, probably going to be the compromise.
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They created the mess let them sweat it out and then they will realise how valuable you are.

Just say that you are on leave and cannot help until you are back and it's outwith your hands now
 
Yep. Don't dig any deeper than required, just state you need to be with wife and prem baby at this time. If they don't get that then find a new employer.
 
Yeah, if you can be helpful and do say a day in the middle somewhere to ease things big time and are comfortable doing that, then go for it.

But honestly, you need to 99.9% prioritise your wife and new boy. Ham it up with him being born early if you need to get them to back off, they really should be considerate of your situation rather than trying to sap work out of you at a time when it's just not feasible for you.
 
Work sorted, came to a compromise that works for both of us.

Now home with newborn :). We’re cream crackered! He’s not taking to his Moses basket well and will only sleep in our arms.
We’re taking it in turns and still trying the Moses basket after being filled up with boob. Hopefully he’ll get used to it soon.
 
Desmo said:
To be fair, I'm guessing they thought they had another 4-5 weeks to get things sorted.
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Who waits until the last minute to put a plan in place?

Also why can't anyone do what he does? If he gets hit by a bus then what?

If he doesn't help he makes a good point about contingency planning and how valuable he is.

We had someone who only did certain jobs they left and nobody knew what to do. That person was the lowest paid and had been looking to move up but denied for years. Your talking 30 years of experience lost because the people at the top only look after their own.

Sometimes it takes losing someone to make a point hit home. Same thing happened last month but someone higher up was doing 100 times the work of everyone on their level and essentially doing their jobs whilst they done nothing because he was the best at it and upper management wanted him to do it as he got better results. So he had 14 projects on at the same time whilst people in his team had 0-2 yet getting paid the same.

He said that he was looking to move up and they kept promising him a promotion and then he eventually got one elsewhere they immediately said we will match it straight away after they strung him along for a couple of years. He told them to stuff it and off he went. He's now being paid more and is now doing next to nothing compared to his old role where he was doing the job of the whole team single handedly because he was given all the work because he was better than everyone else at it.

If I knew someone was going to be off work for a while I'd have 2 other folk trained to do the same position 3 months in advance. 5 weeks is nothing and his employer was taking the **** if they left it that late and had done nothing about it.
 
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