Oddballs

That Jekka Gal

That Jekka Gal

That Jekka Gal

Associate
Joined
2 Oct 2019
Posts
188
Location
Castle Cary
A fact to which any travelling contractor will attest is that we all used to run the gamut of life's oddballs and eccentrics when we checked in to the various boarding houses and houseshares that served as a roof over our heads from Monday to Friday ( I speak in the past tense as I no longer lead this lifestyle and I'm guessing that with the advent of WFH, not many of you do either).

Anyway, I once I had an encounter that stretched that particular maxim to the full.

Returning to my farmhouse B&B accommodation one night, I parked the jalopy in the barn, got out and made my way out across the farmyard when a figure emerged from the shadows and strutted stiffly towards me and announced that the Admiral Graf Spee, the WW2 German pocket battleship, had a length of 610 feet and a displacement of 16000 when fully laden.

There was no preamble to this whatsoever, he just launched himself into imparting me with this barrage of nautical facts.

I tried to politely extricate myself from the situation, nodding vigorously with a wan smile on my face as I gradually moved backwards to distance myself from him but he counteracted this by smartly sidestepping closer to me, bringing his heels together with a click that would make any parade ground obergruppenführer proud, until his face was inches from mine and he resumed imbibing me with Graf Spee related trivia.

I subsequently checked out and booked myself into Days Inn at Fleet Services.
 
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Diddums said:
Oddballs? Like blokes pretending to be women?
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Its 2025 man. If a bloke wants to pretend to be a woman these days you have to accept it or youre the bad one. Don't be bad diddums. Let them live their truth.


This may or may not have been written with a straight face. You decide.
 
I used to play world of warships and confirm it was indeed a very fine ship, yet I always prefered the mighty Scharnhorst
 
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arknor said:
I used to play world of warships and confirm it was indeed a very fine ship, yet I always prefered the mighty Scharnhorst
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Teir 6 was a horrible place to be and yes i think the shiny horse was one of my fav ships back in the day.
 
As a corollary to all this, after I checked into Days Inn at Fleet Services, I crossed over to the main concourse to avail myself of the amenities.

As luck would have it, it was lamb shank night in the cafeteria so I loaded up there and then took a wander to find out what passed for fun at the side of the M3.

Not a huge amount,as it happens, so I decided to stick the remaining loose change in my pockets into the fruitees.

As I entered the amusements, I noticed that I was alone apart from an individual perched in the corner on a stool. He was sitting with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together in a way that reminded me of a praying mantis.

Anyway, thinking no more of this, I approached Klondike Pete's Goldmine and inserted the 3 pound coins in my pocket.

No sooner had I won my first skill feature than a voice from over my shoulder commanded me to take the nugdes that I was being offered. I turned around and there was our praying mantis character chomping at the bit and thus it continued; a barrage of instructions to cash out, do the crackshot challenge, take the nudges etc such that it was a relief when my credits finally expired.

At this point, he retired to his stool to await his next victim and I retired to my room where I pondered popping into Millets to buy enough kit to bivvy up in the middle of a field for the remainder of the week.
 
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Reads like Alan Partridge got lost on the M3 and started writing Fear and Loathing in Fleet Services.
 
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