Office arguments - is it all about culture?

Totally agree with challenging your colleagues on differences of opinion but professionally without any shouting/offensiveness.

I moved into a very female company 6 months ago and often challenge people but have to do it so much more gently than at previous places otherwise people get their knickers all twisted. Even if I send an email with a bunch of stuff that needs to be done, I get called militant...

So yeah.. I say adapt.
 
Reginald said:
I moved into a very female company 6 months ago and often challenge people but have to do it so much more gently than at previous places otherwise people get their knickers all twisted. Even if I send an email with a bunch of stuff that needs to be done, I get called militant...
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This is infuriating. I sent an email asking a female colleague to provide me with times and locations for meetings she'd arranged for me to be in (with less than 24 hours notice, I hasten to add) and she came back saying there was "no need to be so rude." :confused:

It was rather difficult not to respond by telling her to just do her ****ing job like everybody else; which no doubt would've made matters exponentially worse.
 
Of course you should take a disagreement that could get heated or issues raised into a meeting room anddeal with it professionally not shout across desks or aaround other workers or at all..
 
Mac 10.

Tell them you can get one in 15 minutes.

If they disagree, argue passionately. If they still don't come around, prove it.

They won't disagree anymore. *psychotic glare*
 
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Right, cheers then guys, after reading this lot I'd best start looking for a new job.

I can't see this crappy culture changing any time soon and it would appear I haven't just been lucky in my past job roles, it's more commonplace.

For clarification I tend to avoid raising my voice but often if you're working with engineers and manufacturing ops guys (which I have done on a lot of projects over the years), you'll find that shouting and swearing is the natural form of communication when it comes down to it, although definitely less acceptable in an office scenario.
 
If by raising your voice you mean shouting at the other party then in most work cultures that I've been in that's rarely a productive way to achieve things - it might mean you get your way in that instance but you're likely to stifle future debate and ensure that essentially it's just those who shout the loudest and longest who get their way. That's not always a good thing, just because you've got an opinion and want to voice it loudly doesn't necessarily imply you know what you're talking about.

I'm happy to have disagreements with people at work or otherwise but as far as it is in my power it'll be done politely and calmly. If you can't persuade them with reason then it's often worth taking a step back and considering whether it's a) your reasoning that is lacking, b) the way you've presented your arguments, c) whether in fact both positions could be partly or wholly right or d) whether they are in fact completely immune to any logical argument and therefore it's a waste of everyones time to pursue the debate any further.
 
Disagreements are always going to happen at work in some fashion. But if it leads to shouting then it's clearly got out of hand or someone can't hold a debatable conversation.

My senior manager is a complete tool and always resorts to shouting if he doesn't get his way. It's funny because if you confront him even when he starts shouting he backs down extremely quickly, I think it is typical "bully" tactic. Try to assert his dominance and position by shouting then backs down when confronted. It's all good though because he is losing his job in a couple of months :p (oddly enough from constant HR issues).

But some of the times debate can be useful and make you think about things from another point of view. Work would be dull as hell without a bit of banter, office politics and general discussions/agreements :p
 
If I have a disagreement with one of my staff, we would sit down for 20 minutes, talk about it, then decide I was right :)

Gotta love Brian Clough!
 
Not worth it. As long as other people's incompetence is not affecting my work load, i let them get on with it. But the second they bring me in to it and make excuses with my name in it, then i am quick to point out the inaccuracy of their statement in front of everyone. If they are not pulling their weight, let them fail.

But these sorts of things specifics make a big difference so it is difficult to have an opinion about the op as we don't know both sides of the story or even one side.
 
Theophany said:
This is infuriating. I sent an email asking a female colleague to provide me with times and locations for meetings she'd arranged for me to be in (with less than 24 hours notice, I hasten to add) and she came back saying there was "no need to be so rude." :confused:
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You probably forgot to put a smiley face at the end of your email and attach a picture of a kitten.
 
There are 8 of us in our dept and most of our arguments have been Android vs iOS bragging matches :D

2011, before the arguments: 4 iPhones, 2 Androids 1 Blackberry and 1 Windows phone.

2014, after the arguments: 1 iPhone and 7 Androids.

You will become one with Google :p
 
Theophany said:
This is infuriating. I sent an email asking a female colleague to provide me with times and locations for meetings she'd arranged for me to be in (with less than 24 hours notice, I hasten to add) and she came back saying there was "no need to be so rude." :confused:
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She needs a kick in the Gareth Hunt then, ensure she gets one.
 
Good old Butchers fridge chat.... I presume you have a butchers fridge where you work?

Doing this always worked wonders back in the day. Even now the GM turns a blind eye.. Personnel manager may have a slightly different view point though lol
 
As much as I dislike the phrase "play the ball not the man" there is a huge amount of benefit to be had in doing this. People are far more likely to get bent out of shape if they think you are (or even just are) challenging them rather than whatever the issue is. Those that get upset when disagreements arise tend not to have worked in environments where that behaviour is common and encouraged and this is not just limited to women.
 
[FnG]magnolia;25904032 said:
As much as I dislike the phrase "play the ball not the man" there is a huge amount of benefit to be had in doing this. People are far more likely to get bent out of shape if they think you are (or even just are) challenging them rather than whatever the issue is. Those that get upset when disagreements arise tend not to have worked in environments where that behaviour is common and encouraged and this is not just limited to women.
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Gosh! I concur.

Some people do struggle to separate issues from people. Not only do they find it hard to challenge something without coming across as getting personal/aggressive, but often they are also quick to take offence (leading to another argument) as they tend to perceive any criticism received in personal terms.
 
Yeah exactly that. "This duct-tape solution no longer serves the purpose it was designed for" isn't an attack on the capabilities of the person who put it in place. Don't get bent out of shape about it.
 
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