OMG CRAB ATTACK

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Sit in a piranha bath and watch them cure your crab problem and your chances of producing offspring!!
 
Apply sodium hydroxide to the infected area. In fact, down a couple of swigs for good measure. If you don't have any, use bleach instead.

NB: Under no circumstances should the above advice be followed :D
 
Submerge your entire being in a swimming pool for several hours until they drown. You might find you drown first, but at least your problem will be cured.
 
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