OMG - I cant make thread titles! (Interesting Question From Child)

homereatsem · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:09

My 4 year old has just asked what a lesbian is?

how the hell can you answer that?

Lt. Manlove · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:11

Tell your 4 year old that her name is mummy and not lesbian.

Caged · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:12

I'm guessing the answer would be something along the lines of "a homosexual woman".

Edit: I keep reading your username as "Homer eats semen".

homereatsem · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:12

Lt. Manlove said:
Tell your 4 year old that her name is mummy and not lesbian.

lolol

Brain · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:13

tell her the true I say - why not? Just say that "its when one woman [stress woman] loves another woman, instead of a man" etc. No point in hiding the fact because soon enough she will earn the true at school...

VIRII · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:13

I'd ask her where she heard the word first.

fatiain · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:14

VIRII said:
I'd ask her where she heard the word first.

^^

(edit, why do I spend so much time agreeing with you?)

homereatsem · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:14

ummmm *HE* heard it from his big brother (who's 12)

VIRII · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:14

Brain said:
tell her the true I say - why not? Just say that "its when one woman [stress woman] loves another woman, instead of a man" etc. No point in hiding the fact because soon enough she will earn the true at school...

Have to be careful not to confuse her. She'll probably say I love mummy does that mean I am a lesbian or similar.
I have a daughter nearly the same age, I am wondering how I would answer at the moment.

fatiain · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:15

homereatsem said:
ummmm *HE* heard it from his big brother (who's 12)

Have a word with big brother, he's old enough to know better.

Brain · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:16

VIRII said:
Have to be careful not to confuse her. She'll probably say I love mummy does that mean I am a lesbian or similar.
I have a daughter nearly the same age, I am wondering how I would answer at the moment.

Thats why I stress the pont woman, rather than any arbitrary female disregarding maturity.

VIRII · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:18

fatiain said:
^^

(edit, why do I spend so much time agreeing with you?)

It might be the gun in your face ?

VIRII · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:19

homereatsem said:
ummmm *HE* heard it from his big brother (who's 12)

He ? Ahhh well in that case break out the videos .....

Well I don't beleive in lying to your kids but they do need simple understandings and 4 is too young to understand sexual attraction I think.

So I think something along the lines of a woman who doesn't want a husband might work.

Jumpingmedic · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:19

It's a woman who loves other women, what's the problem?

I remember asking my mum the same questions when I was much younger, cant say for sure how old I was but it must have been under 8, not as young as 4 i suppose but i don't think it makes a difference. She answered honestly and accurately and I don't think there's any need for coy euphemisms or dodging the issue.

homereatsem · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:19

you got some you can spare then?

Kell_ee001 · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:22

I was asked that many a year ago when I used to do baby-sitting.

I told him similar to what Brain suggested but used an example...

"It's when a woman loves another woman - the kind of love that Mummy's and Daddy's have" (or something similar)

Explains it's an adult thing, a female thing and then you just answer any questions as simply (but truthfully) as you can

VIRII · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:23

Jumpingmedic said:
It's a woman who loves other women, what's the problem?

I remember asking my mum the same questions when I was much younger, cant say for sure how old I was but it must have been under 8, not as young as 4 i suppose but i don't think it makes a difference. She answered honestly and accurately and I don't think there's any need for coy euphemisms or dodging the issue.

Lesbianism is a sexually issue and most 4 year olds have no concept of those aspects as of yet.
That makes it difficult to explain to a child of that age, certainly my daughter will usually follow one question with a billion more.

Loving is not the same as sexual attraction. So it is not a woman who loves other women it is a woman who is sexually attracted to other women. That then results in explaining sexual attraction and sex to a 4 year old which is not necessarily what every parent feels appropriate.

Psyk · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:24

You could say when a "woman loves another women in the way I love mummy". The kid might get that but may be too young to understand the difference between the types of love.

VIRII · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:24

Kell_ee001 said:
I was asked that many a year ago when I used to do baby-sitting.

I told him similar to what Brain suggested but used an example...

"It's when a woman loves another woman - the kind of love that Mummy's and Daddy's have" (or something similar)

Explains it's an adult thing, a female thing and then you just answer any questions as simply (but truthfully) as you can

That is pretty good. It is important to stress it is a different type of love to that between parent and child.

Pinkeyes · 10 Feb 2006 at 20:28

Brain said:
tell her the true I say - why not? Just say that "its when one woman [stress woman] loves another woman, instead of a man" etc. No point in hiding the fact because soon enough she will earn the true at school...

What he said. Tell them the truth, but do so in a way they will understand. And don't linger, move onto "now would you like a chocolate biscuit". Otherwise within 20 minutes you will be explaining the birds and the bees...