Open University advice.

  • Thread starter Thread starter DM
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Can you be my Dad? I'd love an opportunity like that!

Ahleckz said:
Why don't you just cut him off until he gets his arse into gear? Whilst you allow him to do nothing, as it seems he is doing, then he won't have the motivation to do anything else.
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And this I reckon.

Cut him off and let him do what he wants until he sorts himself out. Let him choose his own path and get some life experience. Then one day he'll grow up. Hopefully.

If not, give me a call :p
 
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Why don't you just cut him off until he gets his arse into gear? Whilst you allow him to do nothing, as it seems he is doing, then he won't have the motivation to do anything else.
 
DiamondMark said:
Hi bit of advice needed.

My son who is very reluctant to get off his arse and do a full time degree has asked me if i will get off his back if he does an OU one.

Are these any good? Will he really learn what is needed? What university do they actually write on the degree itself when its completed?

It will be a business related course of some description.

I cant help thinking this is one of his usual cop outs, but i suppose its better than him not doing anything.

Anyway any experiences people have had, lets hear them.

Thanks in advance.
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What about an apprenticeship?
 
regulus said:
What about an apprenticeship?
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There is no apprenticeship as such for the diamond game, someone needs to trust you in the first instance and you need a flair / skill for it to excel, neither of which he has so he needs to look at the business side of the business.
 
Ahleckz said:
Why don't you just cut him off until he gets his arse into gear? Whilst you allow him to do nothing, as it seems he is doing, then he won't have the motivation to do anything else.
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See above if i do that im worried about what nonsense he will get up to, having a clean record is important for my plans for him.
 
DiamondMark said:
See above if i do that im worried about what nonsense he will get up to, having a clean record is important for my plans for him.
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It's his life though, whilst I respect you for wanting to help him out; it isn't up to you to determine what he does in life. Give him the best options but it isn't your place to determine what he does in his life. If he wants to **** it all away, then that's up to him. The most you can do, and should do, is open the doors for him to better himself. He has to step through them himself!
 
DiamondMark said:
We buy, sell and above all consult on the best way to cut diamonds, then cut them.
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Ok, I know nothing about that what so ever. I was going to suggest that you help him set up his own business that can run alongside your business. Vertical or horizontal integration if you like words like that. Lend him the money, change him interest and help him make it work, but ultimately his business and he has to make it work.
 
The OU is a fantastic way for someone holding down a full time job to better themselves with a degree or other qualification. It is not easy and as mentioned before takes a lot of commitment, some would say even more then a full time university place. If commitment and drive is the issue then an OU course is going to be difficult if not impossible to complete. Someone pushed into it will, in all likelihood, fail pretty quickly.

My degree is through the OU, took me 6 years and at times was hard going. It opened a lot of doors to me and took me places I could only have dreamed of before. In my experience an OU degree is respected in the workplace.
 
Ahleckz said:
It's his life though, whilst I respect you for wanting to help him out; it isn't up to you to determine what he does in life. Give him the best options but it isn't your place to determine what he does in his life. If he wants to **** it all away, then that's up to him. The most you can do, and should do, is open the doors for him to better himself. He has to step through them himself!
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See i dont agree with that, sometimes people need more than the door open they need a shove through it.

But still its interesting hearing peoples thoughts, maybe i am pushing him too much.
 
Spamalot said:
Ok, I know nothing about that what so ever. I was going to suggest that you help him set up his own business that can run alongside your business. Vertical or horizontal integration if you like words like that. Lend him the money, change him interest and help him make it work, but ultimately his business and he has to make it work.
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We also have 5 pawn shops / scrap gold buying places, now i kid you not, the last 2 were obtained with a view to him running them, but no, due to lack of interest we now have a bloody manager in each of them.

I will admit it is boring as **** standing there all day but this kid wont even give it a try as far as i can see.

I can see he is appearing to be an idle **** here, hes not all bad and i can see some potential in him at times, i just want him to get a bloody qualification.
 
DiamondMark said:
There is no apprenticeship as such for the diamond game, someone needs to trust you in the first instance and you need a flair / skill for it to excel, neither of which he has so he needs to look at the business side of the business.
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You assume he wants to be in the diamond game? Did you ask him what he wants to do with his life?
 
Yeah, if he isn't currently motivated to do anything then I think he will struggle with an OU degree but its a difficult call. I'm half way through mine and I have found it really tough to be honest, especially when I failed an exam during my second module and had to re-sit. This doubled my workload, and I was overlapping modules. Just trying to juggle that with everything else is demanding, but worth every penny in my eyes. I'm a completely different person to how I was a few years ago, and it's the course that has helped.

I would sit down with him and have a good honest heart to heart. He may feel pressured because he thinks he will fail - he needs to be given an opportunity. I thought I would fail, and here I am, half way through. I can see light at the end of the tunnel - and passing the modules is so good for your self esteem.
 
Fancy adopting me DiamandMark - ok, I'm 46 years old, but that means I know how to behave...

Seriously, I hope he comes to realise how fortunate he is one day - jobs are bleeding hard to come by at the moment (I've just finished an IT degree with a 2:1 and can't get a job).

Are there any courses he could do at college on day release that would suit him ?
 
philstanbridge said:
Yeah, if he isn't currently motivated to do anything then I think he will struggle with an OU degree but its a difficult call. I'm half way through mine and I have found it really tough to be honest, especially when I failed an exam during my second module and had to re-sit. This doubled my workload, and I was overlapping modules. Just trying to juggle that with everything else is demanding, but worth every penny in my eyes. I'm a completely different person to how I was a few years ago, and it's the course that has helped.

I would sit down with him and have a good honest heart to heart. He may feel pressured because he thinks he will fail - he needs to be given an opportunity. I thought I would fail, and here I am, half way through. I can see light at the end of the tunnel - and passing the modules is so good for your self esteem.
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Thanks for that, and everyone else.

The trouble is we have had many sit down chats and i will admit my patience is not great once i see that glazed look coming over him i just feel like giving him a dig.
 
wozzizname said:
Fancy adopting me DiamandMark - ok, I'm 46 years old, but that means I know how to behave...

Seriously, I hope he comes to realise how fortunate he is one day - jobs are bleeding hard to come by at the moment (I've just finished an IT degree with a 2:1 and can't get a job).

Are there any courses he could do at college on day release that would suit him ?
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I just dont know and i feel i should do more to find out, but then i think **** it, if he cant even be bothered to find out what he can do himself what chance is there of him completing one.

Something 2 or 3 days a week would be perfect in my opinion.

He's got 2 A levels and a few of the other things, i cant even think what they are called now, they were O levels when i was in school.
 
Yeah, got to agree, the OU probably isn't the best option for him. I tried doing one a few years ago myself and failed because I wasn't motivated - just ended up playing Quake (on the computer I had bought especially for the course...) instead of doing the OU work :(

He's just doing it to get you off his back and thinks it will be easy to drift through it with minimal effort.
 
How about cutting him off? Make him redundant and also pay a comparable rent to live at home.

His personal professional (external) experiences would provide your business with a more solid and rounded management if he was to take over. If he gets forced to work for you, and then forced to manage the business his lack of enthusiasm and potential ignorance could ruin your business/retirement. Also, nepotism can often breed resentment, especially if your son isn't the right person for the job.

Best way to get him off his backside would be to scare him into seeing what life is actually like, and would hopefully generate an encouraging response from him.
 
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