Parents Split

lemonkettaz

lemonkettaz

lemonkettaz

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28 Nov 2005
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They are splitting up apparently

fair enough im 19, and hopefully off to uni in september.. but this has hit like a huge bomb...

im in shock, no idea what to do... i know i should be handling this a lot better, im not 12... but its just whacked me down the ladder and i feel pretty low/angry/upset/depressed about it. and with loads of assignments due in soon i am worrying i wont concentrate as the house has to be sorted out, money and all that rubbish that comes with a split.

any ideas from any experience.

p.s. i hate sundays
 
i will have to work more hours part time if i wnt the internet and stuff....

therefore less time to finish college work, i dont know.... i think im feeling angry more than anything. or maybe im just being a baby and need to grow up.
 
the first thing to do is not to feel guilty about it. its not your fault (well i dunno but..)
look in to the mirror reguraly sort your self and and look in to your own eyes and say to your self that its not your fault. Thats the fisrt thing .
anyhow. try not to start smoking, drugs or binge drinking. these things will only enhance your current feeling,
If you have a hobby, Good practice that hobby a lot and keep your mind away from your surrounding. if not start one. you need to let your stress out on something . something like kick boxing?
thats all i can say for now. i know a bit about stress coping and stuff. so good luck

EDIT.; Its perfectly normal to feel confused, but never blame your self for anything. thats the wrong root. ask friends get support!
 
my parents are at each others throat constantly atm :( my mum gets drunk every night and just shouts at him saying how much she hates him, she wants a divorce. Its something I find really hard to handle as well, ever since I was little they've argued so it really hurts me, my sister how ever wants them to get a divorce so she plays them against each other :(
 
be careful dude, a good friend of mine got hooked on serious drugs and screwed up 2 chances at uni whilst going through depression for this exact reason.

My best advice is to try not to choose sides regardless of what has happened. Try not to judge, and whatever you do, do not turn to either drugs or the church.
 
holly35 said:
my parents are at each others throat constantly atm my mum gets drunk every night and just shouts at him saying how much she hates him, she wants a divorce. Its something I find really hard to handle as well, ever since I was little they've argued so it really hurts me, my sister how ever wants them to get a divorce so she plays them against each other
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women for you...
 
Chin up mate.

It's normal to be angry when the people you love drop a big bombshell on you. I don't think your parents would split up unless they thought it was for the best. Whatever happens I'm sure they still love you as much as they ever have.

As for any coursework, I'd talk to your lecturers about your situation and they might be a bit sympathetic with deadlines.
 
ive played the guitar for a hobby for years, just carry on with that.

no drugs for me, maybe drink... no smoking either. i suppose whatever happens time will help everything,

my aim is to do well in college... til june.. first step and ill concentrate step by step :p
 
Mr_L said:
Chin up mate.

It's normal to be angry when the people you love drop a big bombshell on you. I don't think your parents would split up unless they thought it was for the best. Whatever happens I'm sure they still love you as much as they ever have.

As for any coursework, I'd talk to your lecturers about your situation and they might be a bit sympathetic with deadlines.
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good idea.. cheers. didnt think of that
 
My boyfriends parents split up while he was at uni, he took it ok but his sister didn't. Just try to think postive about it, if splitting up will make then happy they will be more enjoyable to be around.
 
have you ever talked to your parents about it? i mean a propper talk. sitting facing each other in the dining and talk about WHY they are splitting in detail.
Also tell your parents what you think about the devorve and tell em you love them both just as much, and reassure there feelings agains eachother too.
this could give you a positive effect as it will make you realise whats going on, instead of not knowing much.

dont keep things to your self, its alright to ask questions, and gd luck with your guitar. i play a bit my self too ;)
 
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nah, it all just happened today.

apparently its gonna get discussed tomorrow, i.e money mainly, but am sure personal feelings will be most talked about. just see what happens i guess
 
lemonkettaz said:
They are splitting up apparently

fair enough im 19, and hopefully off to uni in september.. but this has hit like a huge bomb...

im in shock, no idea what to do... i know i should be handling this a lot better, im not 12... but its just whacked me down the ladder and i feel pretty low/angry/upset/depressed about it. and with loads of assignments due in soon i am worrying i wont concentrate as the house has to be sorted out, money and all that rubbish that comes with a split.

any ideas from any experience.

p.s. i hate sundays
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exactly the same thing happened to me. The most important thing is to concentrate on your assignments as much as possible, as you cant afford to mess them up as you have uni to look forward to. I completely know how you feel. Its also important to try and stay impartial at this point and try to not take sides with one or the other. I just made sure I was concentrating on the right things and let all my friends know what was happening, and thankfully they were supportive of the situation. Just take each day as it comes, but make sure your college/school/uni work is put as the top priority.
 
lemonkettaz said:
cheers.

p.s. i know its the wrong section... but... whats the cheapest best ISP i can get. as in ill have to pay for it now :p :(
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Your parents have split up and all your bothered about is what will happen to your internet connection? bloody nerds :p;)
 
Mine are splitting up too, they haven't been happy for years, my mum wants to end it more than my dad but he's not exactly making any effort to make it work, he's an idiot anyway and hasn't had anything to do with me for years (he lives with us too.)

We're going to be selling the house most probably and i'll move in with my mum, but I start University next year and i'm sorta wanting to move in with my bandmates who are in their first year of Uni at the moment, but my mum admitted she doesn't want me to go last night :(
 
My Mum & Dad split 18 years ago when I was 29 and it was a shock to the system.
My Mum treated him like dirt so it wasn't a shock. One day he went into work with my Mum and then he returned home and packed his suitcase. He didn't leave for another woman either but just had to get out of my mums way. It was four days until he made contact with me and they were the four worst days of my life. Two of those days I was gigging with a band and during the song Without You (Harry Nillson) I had to run off the stage crying leaving both the piano and lead vocals missing.
I've then had to put up with years of crap from my mother because she still won't take any blame for the split. You will get over it and just be thankful that you haven't lost them to death.
 
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