Man of Honour
- Joined
- 5 Jun 2003
- Posts
- 91,784
- Location
- Falling...
Morning all,
Please bear with me as I explain the meaning of this thread.
On Monday evening I met up with a few old uni friends (when I say old, I mean that in the sense that they have been friends for a while, rather than their chronological appearance!).
Having settled in a nice pub near London Bridge, wedged deep inside some comfortable leather sofas (which to my surprise were not sticky with years of spilt booze and goodness knows what other liquids) we reminice and catch up on the old times, and of course the new times. Seeing as we are all knocking close (and some already are) to 30 the conversation was surprisingly juvenile but thoroughly interesting... this was until we start noticing a "couple" sat near us, and for some reason we took it on ourselves to psycho-analyse the whole date. This kept us amused for the whole evening... yes, we lead very sheltered boring lives.
Anyway, reeling the point of the thread back into track, whilst observing this date, we were trying to work out what they were saying, and working out what bodylanguage was flirting and what was just nervousness, or just a standard behavioural reaction. Bear in mind we were a mix of, marketing and financial advisors, engineers and physiotherapist, and we had had a few drinks, ergo making us experts on such matters as you can well imagine.
So this couple, girl is very pretty, petite, big brown eyes, long lovely straight dark brown hair (with a very subtle tinge of deep scarlet), nice body, smart but casual clothing. Chap is tall, not unnattractive, broad shouldered and casually dressed. Apologies for the lack of description of the man, I was less interested in him I must admit!
Right, so we're watching them chat, it's obvious they've met up before or that this was definitely not the first date and we were trying to pick up obvious flirting "signs".
Girl:
Running her fingers through her hair and leaving her fingers on the last few inches whilst holding it under her chin, whilst looking at him.
To me the above is a classic flirting sign, but I argued that she might just have bad hair? Or it's just a nervous "tick".
Laughing with her whole body. The chap was obviously charming and funny, as she did seem to make an exaggerated bit of laughing.
Eye contact. It wasn't constant, but there seemed to be a decent amount of it, and the odd cheeky look away or roll eyes with a cheeky grin.
Legs crossed and pointing towards him, very non-defensive position. Again legs crossed at the ankles, out straight to the left, that's supposed to mean something, my friends were convinced it means she was rather frustrated, but that's just his little world.
Looking at the guy when taking a drink - again shows a bit of interest? No?
One thing I noticed was the lack of touch/contact, now to me that's a big thing, I'm a very tactile person and feel that in a way it's a slightly intimate, but nice connection to have with someone. However it's getting away with it, touching someone on the leg for no reason is a bit off, however the hand on the back/shoulder leaning in to ask what she'd like to drink is a little more subtle but I feel works very well.
Right, they then compared driving licence pictures! A classic, perfect time to tell her she looks so much hotter in real life, I didn't hear that, but the look of humility after he said something was quite clear.
There were plenty more but I could go on all day.
Guy:
Leaning forward on the table a lot, so trying to minimise the distance and maybe get into the "space" of the girl.
Once again eye contact seemed to be big on his list and seemed to do it enough.
He did appear a little nervous or at least does seem to like this girl as there were a few nervous laughs, face touches and hair scratching (not that I get to do much of that anymore
).
He didn't cross his arms, which si good as it's quite a defensive stance, however he did put his hands behind his head and revealed his "guns" (well nothing that impressive, but I am comparing them to mine
). That's quite a dominating "power" position but he didn't seem that comfortable and went back to leaning on the table.
His legs did seem to fidgit a bit, however more often than not his were straight out infront crossing at the feet, or tucked under his chair knees wide apart.
Again no body contact, but a lot of laughing with the body, and intense attention being given to her.
It was hard to tell if anything was going to develop, we got a little bored and went back to our immature and ridiculous conversations, but I'm interested in hearing if anybody else does this people watching. I find it fascinating personally, and I love watching people interact with one another.
I'm interested if anybody here has any more grasp on psychology or does this sort of thing to work out the flirting between 2 people. I'm personally convinced that he likes her a lot, but she's probably more "matey" towards him... but she did seem to do a bit of the "classic" flirting things.
What other classic subconscious flirting "signs" do you all know of? Do you reckon they are true? I know that mimicing of behaviour does build a rappor and is a subconscious way of lowering a defensive line between 2 people, but I'm just interested in hearing about what other people think. Obviously if you actively do it I don't believe it counts, it has to be completely subconscious I believe (I may well be wrong!).
I fear this may become a regular occurence, it's really rather sad, but I don't mind admitting that I find it interesting too
Please bear with me as I explain the meaning of this thread.
On Monday evening I met up with a few old uni friends (when I say old, I mean that in the sense that they have been friends for a while, rather than their chronological appearance!).
Having settled in a nice pub near London Bridge, wedged deep inside some comfortable leather sofas (which to my surprise were not sticky with years of spilt booze and goodness knows what other liquids) we reminice and catch up on the old times, and of course the new times. Seeing as we are all knocking close (and some already are) to 30 the conversation was surprisingly juvenile but thoroughly interesting... this was until we start noticing a "couple" sat near us, and for some reason we took it on ourselves to psycho-analyse the whole date. This kept us amused for the whole evening... yes, we lead very sheltered boring lives.
Anyway, reeling the point of the thread back into track, whilst observing this date, we were trying to work out what they were saying, and working out what bodylanguage was flirting and what was just nervousness, or just a standard behavioural reaction. Bear in mind we were a mix of, marketing and financial advisors, engineers and physiotherapist, and we had had a few drinks, ergo making us experts on such matters as you can well imagine.
So this couple, girl is very pretty, petite, big brown eyes, long lovely straight dark brown hair (with a very subtle tinge of deep scarlet), nice body, smart but casual clothing. Chap is tall, not unnattractive, broad shouldered and casually dressed. Apologies for the lack of description of the man, I was less interested in him I must admit!
Right, so we're watching them chat, it's obvious they've met up before or that this was definitely not the first date and we were trying to pick up obvious flirting "signs".
Girl:
Running her fingers through her hair and leaving her fingers on the last few inches whilst holding it under her chin, whilst looking at him.
To me the above is a classic flirting sign, but I argued that she might just have bad hair? Or it's just a nervous "tick".
Laughing with her whole body. The chap was obviously charming and funny, as she did seem to make an exaggerated bit of laughing.
Eye contact. It wasn't constant, but there seemed to be a decent amount of it, and the odd cheeky look away or roll eyes with a cheeky grin.
Legs crossed and pointing towards him, very non-defensive position. Again legs crossed at the ankles, out straight to the left, that's supposed to mean something, my friends were convinced it means she was rather frustrated, but that's just his little world.
Looking at the guy when taking a drink - again shows a bit of interest? No?
One thing I noticed was the lack of touch/contact, now to me that's a big thing, I'm a very tactile person and feel that in a way it's a slightly intimate, but nice connection to have with someone. However it's getting away with it, touching someone on the leg for no reason is a bit off, however the hand on the back/shoulder leaning in to ask what she'd like to drink is a little more subtle but I feel works very well.
Right, they then compared driving licence pictures! A classic, perfect time to tell her she looks so much hotter in real life, I didn't hear that, but the look of humility after he said something was quite clear.
There were plenty more but I could go on all day.
Guy:
Leaning forward on the table a lot, so trying to minimise the distance and maybe get into the "space" of the girl.
Once again eye contact seemed to be big on his list and seemed to do it enough.
He did appear a little nervous or at least does seem to like this girl as there were a few nervous laughs, face touches and hair scratching (not that I get to do much of that anymore
).He didn't cross his arms, which si good as it's quite a defensive stance, however he did put his hands behind his head and revealed his "guns" (well nothing that impressive, but I am comparing them to mine
). That's quite a dominating "power" position but he didn't seem that comfortable and went back to leaning on the table.His legs did seem to fidgit a bit, however more often than not his were straight out infront crossing at the feet, or tucked under his chair knees wide apart.
Again no body contact, but a lot of laughing with the body, and intense attention being given to her.
It was hard to tell if anything was going to develop, we got a little bored and went back to our immature and ridiculous conversations, but I'm interested in hearing if anybody else does this people watching. I find it fascinating personally, and I love watching people interact with one another.
I'm interested if anybody here has any more grasp on psychology or does this sort of thing to work out the flirting between 2 people. I'm personally convinced that he likes her a lot, but she's probably more "matey" towards him... but she did seem to do a bit of the "classic" flirting things.
What other classic subconscious flirting "signs" do you all know of? Do you reckon they are true? I know that mimicing of behaviour does build a rappor and is a subconscious way of lowering a defensive line between 2 people, but I'm just interested in hearing about what other people think. Obviously if you actively do it I don't believe it counts, it has to be completely subconscious I believe (I may well be wrong!).
I fear this may become a regular occurence, it's really rather sad, but I don't mind admitting that I find it interesting too
if not it werent a date.