Physics Joke

Ricochet J · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:18

Werner Heisenberg is pulled over by a traffic cop. The cop asks, "Do
you know how fast you were going?'"

"No," Heisenberg replies. "But I know precisely where I am."

/Exits through fire exit

Jokester · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:20

Hahaha

.

Jokester

Ricochet J · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:20

Geology Joke

"Geology Rocks"

/Exits through fire exit, again

Burnsy2023 · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:28

Ok, i'll take the chance of looking hugely ignorant, but I take it this refers to Heisenburg's Uncertainty Principal? I Wiki'd it, but I'm confronted by a page of maths I don't understand.

Now whilst I realise I have now totally killed the joke, can anyone explain?

Burnsy

calnen · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:29

Kinda predictable

calnen · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:30

burnsy2023 said:
Ok, i'll take the chance of looking hugely ignorant, but I take it this refers to Heisenburg's Uncertainty Principal? I Wiki'd it, but I'm confronted by a page of maths I don't understand.

Now whilst I realise I have now totally killed the joke, can anyone explain?

Burnsy

There are certain pairs of parameters which you can never know both of precisely, there's always a residual uncertainty. One of these pairs is position/momentum. (But you can know the mass, so its essentially position/velocity.)

And yes, its called the uncertainty principle.

penski · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:33

Can I drop a chem one?

Little Johnny liked to swim
Little Johnyy is no more
For what Johnny thought was H2O
Was H2SO4.

*n

m3csl2004 · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:35

maths joke

whats the intergral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

log cabin + c

fire exit just isnt close enough for a joke like that

Brizzles · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:35

His theory is flawed.

Moredhel · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:42

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

Two atoms bump into each other. One says 'I think I lost an electron!' The other asks, 'Are you sure?', to which the first replies, 'I'm positive.'

A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, 'How much for a beer?' The bartender looks at him, and says 'For you, no charge.'

Ricochet J · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:43

Oh dear lord what plague have I unleashed upon OcUK?

Ricochet J · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:44

Moredhel said:
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?

To get to the same side.

Two atoms bump into each other. One says 'I think I lost an electron!' The other asks, 'Are you sure?', to which the first replies, 'I'm positive.'

A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender, 'How much for a beer?' The bartender looks at him, and says 'For you, no charge.'

BWU HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I LOVED THE LAST TWO!

Rincewind · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:45

2 cats are sitting on a tin roof, which one slides off first?

the one with the smaller miew.
**grabs coat**

Whitewater · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:46

We need a bigger fire exit.

Ricochet J · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:47

Rincewind said:
2 cats are sitting on a tin roof, which one slides off first?

the one with the smaller miew.
**grabs coat**

That was funny :mad:

PhilthyPhil · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:47

Why won't Heisenbergs' operators live in the suburbs?
Because they don't commute.

Why do all the quantum states leave the party when a magnetic field comes on?
Because the energy levels decide to split.

Rincewind · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:48

what happens when electons run out of energy?

they get bohred

Fusion · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:49

Rincewind said:
what happens when electons run out of energy?

they get bohred

That's a good en, not heard before

Rincewind · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:50

Fusion said:
That's a good en, not heard before

my old A level physics teacher knew too many

TheMagicPirate · 17 Dec 2006 at 17:50

Lol, nerdiest joke thread ever. Love it. (well most of them

)