poor Joke

platypus

platypus

platypus

Caporegime
Joined
25 Jul 2003
Posts
40,563
Location
FR+UK
Since I've posted some actually amusing ones lately, here is a return to form.

One afternoon a bloke's wife goes missing while they are diving off the West Australian coast. He calls and reports the event, searches fruitlessly, and is finally sent home to spend a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.

Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.

'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first.'

The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.'

The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news could possibly be.

The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.'

He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.

'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?'

'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!'​
 
Excellent! :D

There were three applicants for the one position of C.I.A. Hitman ....

For the job they had to go through an initiation with some inspectors viewing ...

The first one, a man, was given a revolver and was told to go into this room and kill his wife. He refused saying that he would never kill his wife. The C.I.A. refused him the job as he could not kill he wife.

The second one, also a man, was given the same revolver and told to go into a room and kill his wife. He went into the room and after about five minutes came back out again crying his eyes out sobbing that he couldn't join the C.I.A. because he couldn't kill his wife.

The last one, a woman, was also given the revolver and told to go into the room and kill her husband. She grabbed the revolver ran into the room. the C.I.A. inspectors immediately heard her fire six shots in quick succession and then some thumps and a lot of banging about. The woman then came back out of the room and said...

"you could have ****ing told me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to finish the bugger off with the chair leg!"
Click to expand...
 
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