Property Access Rights

munge · 31 May 2007 at 01:14

The short version:

Lived with my fiancee for month in rented place after I sold my place. Then split up and rather than any aggro about rent and so on, I paid half of the rest of the 6 months agreement. I gave her the keys but never signed anything saying a waived any right to the tenancy agreement.

She had boxes of my stuff in one of the outhouses which I want back, but she is being unreasonable in allowing me to pick it up. She wants to dump it outside for me on Sunday, even though I can't get there to pick it up! Apparently it's my problem and I've had months...

My plan as she wouldn't ever give me a key, was to go to the estate agents and get a spare set from them as surely I still have access rights? Or failing that, get a locksmith to break in for me.

I have no intention of taking any of the other stuff in the house (everything else like the cooker, washing machine, fridge/freezer, kitchen equipment - oh the irony, she cooked about 4 times!), only the stuff in the boxes that she accepts is mine (not even the £4000 engagment ring that she won't give back that I've pretty much written off to experience).

Do I still have any right of access to the property? And importantly, if I do get the door open with a locksmith (or hop over the fence and get into the unlocked outhouse to get my stuff), am I then in trouble with the beak?

What a fun predicament! Can you imagine if we had actually fallen out when we broke up?!

Rotty · 31 May 2007 at 01:23

if your name is on the rental agreement and you have paid half the rent then you have access rights

Vibez · 31 May 2007 at 01:26

munge said:
(not even the £4000 engagment ring that she won't give back that I've pretty much written off to experience)

What the... your finished with her, get the ******* ring back mate!

munge · 31 May 2007 at 01:28

Rotty said:
if your name is on the rental agreement and you have paid half the rent then you have access rights

Can I quote you?!

One thing that did concern me was I had heard that if YOU forced YOUR way into YOUR house that your non-owning other half was locking the door to with her inside (stll with me?), then YOU get done for some violent breaking into your own house thing apparently !!!!! Even though she has no financial say in the place. Whilst I obviously wouldn't be violent, I'd hate there to be any misconceptions put about, about me.

Morba · 31 May 2007 at 01:29

you gave her the ring, she keeps it. never heard anything where if you split up she gives the ring back!

here is your ring darling, its mine really, you just wear it while we are together'

Rotty · 31 May 2007 at 01:30

munge said:
Can I quote you?!

.

I'm no expert but my sister went through exactly the same and solicitors became involved, the above was the result

munge · 31 May 2007 at 01:31

Vibez said:
What the... your finished with her, get the ******* ring back mate!

It makes me sick, cos I wasn't working for 2 months and was getting very short of cash. The reason I walked out was because of her unreasonable behaviour and things weren't ever going to change, no matter how much we loved each other.

She even left the ring at her mother's house because she thought I was going to break in and get it or something. She wants to "just keep it", she doesn't want to sell it or anything.

Rotty · 31 May 2007 at 01:31

Morba said:
you gave her the ring, she keeps it. never heard anything where if you split up she gives the ring back!

here is your ring darling, its mine really, you just wear it while we are together'

correct, he has no rights to that back

munge · 31 May 2007 at 01:33

Morba said:
you gave her the ring, she keeps it. never heard anything where if you split up she gives the ring back!

here is your ring darling, its mine really, you just wear it while we are together'

I could understand that if I'd run off with some other woman. As I posted above, her behaviour was what made the relationship unworkable.

Surely a ring is there to symbolise the engagement? And when it's over in this sort of fashion, is it not unreasonable to expect it back?

I appreciate I have no rights as such to get it back.

Vibez · 31 May 2007 at 01:37

munge said:
I could understand that if I'd run off with some other woman. As I posted above, her behaviour was what made the relationship unworkable.

Surely a ring is there to symbolise the engagement? And when it's over in this sort of fashion, is it not unreasonable to expect it back?

I appreciate I have no rights as such to get it back.

I'm with you and I think she's a right bitch for trying to keep it. I feel sick too for you man, 4 grand.

I don't believe you could take her to court or whatever and legally get it back, but it isn't hers either, just trick her into wearing it and snatch it off her hand or something

It's standard procedure when a relationship's ended to give back everything

Rotty · 31 May 2007 at 01:37

munge said:
Surely a ring is there to symbolise the engagement? And when it's over in this sort of fashion, is it not unreasonable to expect it back?
.

legally it's a gift

the bad thing is it resale value is probably about a quarter of what you paid for it

munge · 31 May 2007 at 01:45

Rotty said:
legally it's a gift

I know

Rotty said:
the bad thing is it resale value is probably about a quarter of what you paid for it

Fortunately (or unfortunately) it contains rather a significant portion of platinum and was made by a very well known designer who all of a sudden is doing particularly well. I have been told that it probably is worth a fair chunk of wonga, particularly as the price of platinum was silly the last time I looked.

Vixen · 31 May 2007 at 04:00

Regarding access, I'd get in contact with whoever your rental contract is with, and get them to let you in. You are still paying to live there, and as far as they know, you do still live there, so go and get another key or ask for someone to come along and open the door.

I agree with Rotty that you can't expect an engagement ring back. A lot of people like to keep gifts they were given during a relationship as a way to remember it. I think people who give back rings are the ones who don't want to remember their ex at all, if it has been a really bad break up or whatever.

munge · 31 May 2007 at 05:07

We've got on fine until now - I think she's realised it'll never work again so she's now lost any reason to be nice. Up until now she'd always held a hope that we could reconcile, as did I to an extent. You can't just stop loving someone.

Obviously, working together makes things slightly awkward...

Akira · 31 May 2007 at 05:10

The ring was an unconditional gift and therefore is hers to do with as she likes forever, regardless of her relationship, or future lack thereof, with you.

munge · 31 May 2007 at 05:28

Akira said:
The ring was an unconditional gift and therefore is hers to do with as she likes forever, regardless of her relationship, or future lack thereof, with you.

I understand it's a gift and won't try too hard to get it back, but in the spirit of fair play, I would have thought she could have returned it as she was the one with the behaviour issues.

Which reminds me, another reason it annoys me: when originally bought for when I proposed to her, it didn't fit and she didn't like it. No probs I thought, half expected, until she refused to even consider anything in the entire shop. Fortunately the owner gave a refund, which he wouldn't normally do.

The next shop we went to, the ring she eventually liked was almost twice the price of the original, but she said that when her Father's estate came through, she'd contribute the difference as she particularly wanted this one. So I did and then she changed her mind a couple of months later, with no regard to my opinions. What could I say?

So you can see why I feel a little bit hard done by!

PaulStat · 31 May 2007 at 08:14

It's a bit of shame you didn't realise she was "unreasonable" before you bought her the £4k ring

Can I ask a couple of questions?

1. Had you ever lived with her prior to getting this flat together?
2. You only lived with her for a month before giving her the boot? She must have really p'd you off
3. She only cooked 4 times in that month? That's once a week so probably higher than the national average

4. How long were you with her before you popped the question?

ScoobyDoo · 31 May 2007 at 09:37

munge said:
I understand it's a gift and won't try too hard to get it back, but in the spirit of fair play, I would have thought she could have returned it as she was the one with the behaviour issues.

Which reminds me, another reason it annoys me: when originally bought for when I proposed to her, it didn't fit and she didn't like it. No probs I thought, half expected, until she refused to even consider anything in the entire shop. Fortunately the owner gave a refund, which he wouldn't normally do.

The next shop we went to, the ring she eventually liked was almost twice the price of the original, but she said that when her Father's estate came through, she'd contribute the difference as she particularly wanted this one. So I did and then she changed her mind a couple of months later, with no regard to my opinions. What could I say?

So you can see why I feel a little bit hard done by!

Thats women for you..
The only thing you can be glad about is that you didnt marry her.
My ex-wife kept her engagment ring, wedding ring, and took me for half of
everything else i owned!! .. arrgghhh... but im not bitter and twisted.. MUCH!

Justintime · 31 May 2007 at 09:43

Break in, stab her and hack her to pieces, use plastic bags and bury in backyard. Easiest and probably the best way to end this whole mess. Women tick me off sometimes

platypus · 31 May 2007 at 09:45

^Quite, imagine how much you'd have lost out if you'd been unfortunate enough to have actually gotten married.

Stay single, its cheaper!