Quick Joke

From a text last night...
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then on the way home grabbing an indian or a kebab to eat of your Swedish sofa whilst watching US shows on a Japanese TV. Most of all though, being British is being suspicious of anything Foreign...

Oh and only in Britain can you get a pizza to your home faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open but chain pens to the desks.

Also why do Supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the store for their prescriptions while letting healthy people buy fags from the front of the store?"
 
Abraham said:
A joke is just a joke.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-483892/Comic-booed-stage-tasteless-Madeleine-Rhys-jokes.html
A comic I know got in a world of journalistic hell because a journalist at that gig kicked up a fuss, he didnt actually get booed off stage, he just killed the gig, it was overstepping the line, especially in liverpool, but a joke is still just a joke. .
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A couple of names spring to mind here, Norman LeMont and Julian Clary. That ruined his career.
 
Beren said:
From a text last night...
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then on the way home grabbing an indian or a kebab to eat of your Swedish sofa whilst watching US shows on a Japanese TV. Most of all though, being British is being suspicious of anything Foreign...

Oh and only in Britain can you get a pizza to your home faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open but chain pens to the desks.

Also why do Supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the store for their prescriptions while letting healthy people buy fags from the front of the store?"
Click to expand...
Phew, thread saved. Have one internet cookie.
 
Beren said:
From a text last night...
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then on the way home grabbing an indian or a kebab to eat of your Swedish sofa whilst watching US shows on a Japanese TV. Most of all though, being British is being suspicious of anything Foreign...

Oh and only in Britain can you get a pizza to your home faster than an ambulance. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open but chain pens to the desks.

Also why do Supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the store for their prescriptions while letting healthy people buy fags from the front of the store?"
Click to expand...

Very good
 
> Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her
> ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
> The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together
> at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in
> agony.
>
> The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize,
> "Please allow me to help.I'm a physical therapist and I know I could
> relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
>
> "Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes" the man
> replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still
> clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however,
> he finally allowed her to help.
>
> She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his
> pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful
> massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"
>























> He replied, "It feels great .....but my thumb still hurts like hell."
 
merlin said:
> Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her
> ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
> The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together
> at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in
> agony.
>
> The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize,
> "Please allow me to help.I'm a physical therapist and I know I could
> relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
>
> "Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes" the man
> replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still
> clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however,
> he finally allowed her to help.
>
> She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his
> pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful
> massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"
>

> He replied, "It feels great .....but my thumb still hurts like hell."
Click to expand...

lol! :D
 
Opening jokes are always so bad, the ones posted in the thread are pretty decent though :p
 
Abraham said:
is she yours?
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Obviously not. :rolleyes:

Your mother isn't my mother either, does that meen I shouldn't care when I bundle her into my car tomorrow and take her for a trip up the moors. :D

I'm not really going to bundle your mother into my car, I'm going to kick her into the back of my van, lol.

This is a joke thread, right?
 
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