Rant about Ex

Soldato
Joined
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Not sure if this is the right sub forum for this but feel like a good rant!

a month back i got phone call from my ex who i have a 5 year old with , shes crying down the phone saying her partner (he moved in a couple of weeks before) has hit my lad and its bruised the top of his leg and bum and the school have gone to the police etc.
she said she heard the slap from downstairs.
He had to go to hospital and get checked out which i could see upset him.
his mum is sat there crying saying she hates her partner wants nothing to do with him blah blah
the social worker tells her my lad has to come back with me instead of his mum as they hadnt arrested her partner yet. He then gets arrested and puts on bail, his dad gets his stuff from the house and i hope that is the end of
When i was watching my lad at football with his mum(we get on alright) said her partner (who's not allowed to contact her or my lad) has contacted her mum saying hes sorry , he wish her could turn things back and what not and wants to sit down with her and speak to me(yes thats right me?! if i wasn't working somewhere in which any sort of criminal record would loose my job i'd have smashed the ****ers face in!).
I told her shes stupid if shes considering it and she said she wasnt.
My lad still mentions about the time he hit him so still fresh in his memory.
Well on sunday i went to pick him up and she said his bails up and they're cautioning him. Sorry but i think this is not enough! To bruise a bum and to hit so hard to hear it downstairs is not a knee jerk reaction thats hitting with intent to do damage! If it was his head we could be looking at a lot more serious damage! He should have more done. They wonder how child abuse happens ?! by not doing enough!
Well today his mum whos off to america on wednesday (her partner paid for his flight prior to the incident) said they're trying again!!
To say i'm seething is an understatement! i understand its not my say what she does in her love life, but surely this is bang out of order!
Next time which i think there will be it may be more serious.
Social worker wants him to go on an anger management course.
its proper ** No disguised swearing - EVH ** because it seems there's bugger all i can do. i can't afford to take her through courts to try getting custody and lets face it dads often get **** on when it comes to courts against mums.

i've tried talking to her and persuading her else wise but she seems to be putting her life ahead of my lads.

so in short his mums selfish and the system is ****.

Rant over !
 
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I mean this is going to sound bad.

But woman doing what they do best, crawling back to abusive retards.

I only feel bad for you being caught in this, if you could get full custody of your son that would be grand. I wouldn't want my child to be in such a potentially toxic situation.

They always say it's a one off and they are sorry....

Edit: And i'm sorry there is no advice I can offer that has any worth. Hopefully someone will come in and have something useful to say.
 
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More than a rant. This is serious. I don't even know if it should be posted on here. If the guy is coming back, you want him out. It will happen again. Shame she's fallen for it.
 
Both of my sisters do this. It does my nut in and I just don't understand why they do it!!!

Maybe people who look for the traits of 'bad boys' are also likely to be needy?
Don't know. But it does seem to happen a lot.
In general (myself included) stayed in something that wasn't right. This is on a different scale.. But I'm guessing same still applies?
 
He's done it once and he'll do it again so you need every agency getting involved and also talking to your Ex.
 
Abusers are also normally incredibly manipulative and seek out people with personalities they know they can pray on, it's not as simple as some people seem to think for the victims to just walk away.
 
has he hit her or just your kid? must be an awful situation to be in, don't know how you haven't been over there and done him in yet.
 
If the OP decides to escalate this with violence all it's going to do is cause the ex to side with her other half and the OP can then quite possibly kiss goodbye to any chance of seeing his kid.
 
If that was my son, I would actually take a bat to the bloke. I couldn't let that stand. He has absolutely no right to do that. None.

If the legal system fails, then what else is there?

File for full custody right away. You will have a strong case now.
 
File for custody, immediately. The guy has hit your child, of course your going to be favored in court.

I went through the same thing, as a kid, though a bit different. The courts swayed in favour of my dad.
 
File for custody, immediately. The guy has hit your child, of course your going to be favored in court.

I went through the same thing, as a kid, though a bit different. The courts swayed in favour of my dad.

This, get your boy out of there ASAP. Is it maybe worth contacting the police to see if they can get him out immediately? Would he then stay with you or the cops? I have no idea how this works, just some thoughts.

Good luck, sounds like that guy needs a good kicking.
 
yeah i agree get you boy out of t there asap, to many horror stories of late about this kind of stuff.....

best of luck
 
You need to remove him from the same house as your Ex's partner, are they all going to America together if so I would definitely be against that.

Surely if you go to the Social Services there is a record of him assaulting your son and that you can raise a request that he stays with you while they sort out this issue of him being in the same house as this man.
 
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