Rumble in the jungle: what animals would win in a fight?

Somnambulist

Somnambulist

Somnambulist

Soldato
Joined
17 Jun 2010
Posts
12,501
Location
London
And what wild beasts do Americans think they themselves can take on?

Our survey puts 34 different animals – including humans – against one another to see which Americans think is the mightiest.

We showed people seven random pairings of animals from the list and asked them which of the two they thought would win in a fight. Animals are ranked by their “win percentage”, that is, how often Americans thought that animal would win in a head-to-head matchup when it was one of the two animals shown.

The results show that the elephant wears the crown in the animal kingdom – but only slightly. Elephants had a win rate of 74%, just fractions of a percent ahead of their single-horned cousins – the rhinoceros – in second place, also on 74%.

...

But what if that unarmed human was one of our respondents themselves? We took a further selection of animals and asked Americans if they thought they could triumph in battle against them without weaponry.

The results show that Americans aren’t confident in their abilities. Most Americans are convinced they could beat a rat (72%), a house cat (69%) and a goose (61%) in a fight. Nevertheless, 17-24% still feel like they would lose in a struggle with such creatures, with the rest unsure.
Click to expand...


What's wild here is there were more than 0.1% of people crazy enough to that think they'd actually win a fight against 3/4 of that list - just lol if you think you're winning against an elephant, hippo, grizzly, gorilla, chimp or even an eagle... have you seen those talons?

14.jpg


How does OCUK rate it's chances? Think you could get a chimp to back off before it ripped off your face or tore off your genitals? Confident going toe to toe with one of those jacked kangaroos? How big does the dog have to be before you no longer rate your chances? Fight!
 
Could probably win against a goose but anything higher than that is time to run. Even a Medium size dog is deadly if they manage a bite on an artery on the limb.
 
Ever seen bald/shaved chimps? People don't realise how much muscle they carry, they'd tear apart 99% of humans without breaking a sweat. I think they're around 4x stronger than the average human.

hairlesschimp.jpg


They can be pretty vindictive when you pee them off, the fact some people keep them as pets is nuts.
 
Gray2233 said:
Ever seen bald/shaved chimps? People don't realise how much muscle they carry, they'd tear apart 99% of humans without breaking a sweat. I think they're around 4x stronger than the average human.

hairlesschimp.jpg


They can be pretty vindictive when you pee them off, the fact some people keep them as pets is nuts.
Click to expand...

they are normally gone by the age of 7 and put behind a very secure cage.
 
Any animal of a decent size is likely to take a lump out of you, regardless of you "winning". Even a badger (uk, not honey) is a scary prospect.

I'm astounded anyone thinks they would beat a bear with their bare hands. I'm assuming those people have never seen a bear close up...
 
Hotwired said:
Odd that an eagle gets that much respect.

Yes its got big claws but a human weighs about 10x as much as it does and it has hollow bones.
Click to expand...

I guess it might depend on the terrain and/or if it's starting off on the ground - they're pretty good at yeeting mountain goats off the sides of cliffs and letting gravity do the work, plus dive bomb at high speed so those talons turn into flying daggers - I'm going to assume it won't just adopt the geese tactic of the flappy winged charge.

potatolord said:
Any animal of a decent size is likely to take a lump out of you, regardless of you "winning". Even a badger (uk, not honey) is a scary prospect.

I'm astounded anyone thinks they would beat a bear with their bare hands. I'm assuming those people have never seen a bear close up...
Click to expand...


I wouldn't even mess with a honey badger, those things are psychos.
 
Hotwired said:
Odd that an eagle gets that much respect.

Yes its got big claws but a human weighs about 10x as much as it does and it has hollow bones.
Click to expand...

It also has the advantage of flight, speed & agility

In fact most animals have the speed & agility advantage over humans, you'll tire well before they will too and we also feel pain differently, animals are built to literally be eaten alive
 
Yeh, whilst an Eagle obviously has massive talons,if you manage to grab it/time some blows well you might stand a chance.

the people who think they stand a chance against a bear, lion, gorilla, elephant with just their bare hands...lol
 
No weapons? Everything would beat me. But if I can use my keyboard, now that is a different matter...
 
SexyGreyFox said:
If you've got 100s of 5 year olds running at you, how many do you think you could take out before they overpower you?
Click to expand...
all of them as they wouldn't have the wherewithal to work as a group and i'd be betting once you'd turned a few of them into pulp the others would scarper.....least that would be my hope!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom