Sat morning joke

Utilities Salesman knocks on front door.
Lad of about 11 opens door smoking a cigar, drinking a glass of Vodka and holding Playboy Mag.
Utilities Salesman says, "Hello son, are your Mum or Dad in please?"
Lad replies, "Does it 'kin look like it?"
 
I hate crushing up pills and putting them in my grans dinner. I feel sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I'd never be able to forgive myself.....
 
moogie said:
I hate crushing up pills and putting them in my grans dinner. I feel sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I'd never be able to forgive myself.....
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You sick man! :D

My 18-year-old step daughter came downstairs this evening and asked if she could go out dressed in little more than a miniskirt and bikini top. "Of course you can! Have fun!" I said.

After she'd gone, my wife glared at me and said "The trouble with you is you're going soft."

How wrong she was............
 
First American, "How many Vietnam Veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?"
Second American, "I don't know"
First American, ""NO OF COURSE YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T THERE !!!"
 
PapaLazaru said:
You sick man! :D

My 18-year-old step daughter came downstairs this evening and asked if she could go out dressed in little more than a miniskirt and bikini top. "Of course you can! Have fun!" I said.

After she'd gone, my wife glared at me and said "The trouble with you is you're going soft."

How wrong she was............
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The sickipedia is strong in this one ;)
 
What's the difference between a lorry load of babys & a lorry load of marbles ???



You can't unload marbles with a Pitchfork.
 
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