Saturday Mornin Joke'

Soldato
Joined
17 Mar 2005
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3,997
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Home
She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walked in. She turned and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."

His eyes lit up and he thought, "This is my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all, right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
 
Caporegime
Joined
29 Dec 2007
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28,298
Location
Adelaide, South Australia

Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.

Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with a group of Roman soldiers looking happy, and the caption: "We Used Moskowitz Nails!"

The old man immediately met with his three sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined! The sons agreed to discontinue the ad, even though it had been very successful.

A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below and a group of Roman soldiers looking embarrassed... the caption: "We Didn't Use Moskowitz Nails!"

Disclaimer: joke taken from a Jewish website
 
Associate
Joined
14 Sep 2005
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1,555
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All over.
A man is lying in bed with his wife when she rolls over and says "Tell me something dirty."

He replies "The Dishes."

*And I am outta here! **dashes** *
 
Soldato
Joined
2 Mar 2004
Posts
11,891
Location
SE England
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?



.........one makes your day, the other makes your whole week.


(read it out loud :p)

Feel free to delete if inappropriate.

Which I suspect it may be :D
 
Soldato
Joined
12 Sep 2007
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2,666
The OP was funny... but now it's falling down the cliff of horrendously unhumourous and comedically devastating death :(
 
Permabanned
Joined
17 Nov 2007
Posts
10,278
Location
Chester/ Bristol uni
What's the difference between Clint Eastwood and anal sex?



.........one makes your day, the other makes your whole week.


(read it out loud :p)

Feel free to delete if inappropriate.

Which I suspect it may be :D


The joke is meant to be "the difference between oral and anal sex", I don't know where you got Clint Eastwood from :s
 

4T5

4T5

Man of Honour
Joined
30 Aug 2004
Posts
27,739
Location
Middle of England
What does Orally exciting a woman & dealing with the mafia have in common ?



One slip of the tongue & you are in the ****.
 
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