School 'contract'
- Thread starter AHarvey
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Sorry, there are far too many posts to reply to each one but a lot of good points. I think what really annoys me (I've been stewing over it all day) is that this is the kind of thing that you see on Supernanny with badly behaved children and parents that don't take control and responsibility for their kids.
I also don't want my daughter believing her behaviour should be based on what a contract/agreement states it should be. Her behaviour and approach to life should be the same regardless of the environment. My kids are raised to know you put 100% into everything, you use your manners at all times, you are kind etc. The school values at the top of the agreement came out of meetings a select few parents had with faculty under the old headmaster and while they are treated as religious values by the school we consider them good life values.
The school has a very good try try again approach in that with a lot of things, you give it a go, the teacher will ask if you can do it better and you go off and try and improve it. As I said before, my daughter is completely independent with her reading. She reads once a week to a teacher, then the rest of the week she self-manages her books/reading then we read each night at home, either books like The Creakers on her own or smaller bedtime story books to her younger brother.
There are more religious based assemblies and are involved with church events, tbh, it's no different than when I was at school bar the extra religious assembly each week where the reverend comes in and speak to them. We weren't sure about it as neither of us are religious but it's what i would class as "within acceptable levels" lol
It does seem that we'll be finding out tonight what will be happening when people don't sign, I already know of 5 parents that feel the same way.
I also don't want my daughter believing her behaviour should be based on what a contract/agreement states it should be. Her behaviour and approach to life should be the same regardless of the environment. My kids are raised to know you put 100% into everything, you use your manners at all times, you are kind etc. The school values at the top of the agreement came out of meetings a select few parents had with faculty under the old headmaster and while they are treated as religious values by the school we consider them good life values.
The school has a very good try try again approach in that with a lot of things, you give it a go, the teacher will ask if you can do it better and you go off and try and improve it. As I said before, my daughter is completely independent with her reading. She reads once a week to a teacher, then the rest of the week she self-manages her books/reading then we read each night at home, either books like The Creakers on her own or smaller bedtime story books to her younger brother.
There are more religious based assemblies and are involved with church events, tbh, it's no different than when I was at school bar the extra religious assembly each week where the reverend comes in and speak to them. We weren't sure about it as neither of us are religious but it's what i would class as "within acceptable levels" lol
It does seem that we'll be finding out tonight what will be happening when people don't sign, I already know of 5 parents that feel the same way.
Man of Honour
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If people can go on Judge Rinder with naught but a napkin bearing some hand-scrawled IOU in attrocious English, and still have that constitute an enforcable contract, I'm sure the school could manage it...
I didn't know that show existed, but it's an entertainment show, not a court. I wouldn't draw any conclusions about the legality of a contract from it.
Soldato
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What? Next you will be telling me Judge Judy isn't a real judge.
AFAIK it is essentially arbitration - they agree in advance to be bound by his decision.
I think its just trying to set up a good working relationship with the school. I mean basically its meaningless and not a real contract, more of a, "I've read this and see what you're doing" type thing. Sign it whilst saying how silly it is, move on.
You wait till they get older, then its all about the homework your supposed to get involved with which apart from the fact that you won't understand what they are doing if you do then you probably know how to do it in the "wrong" way. My step daughters school seem to want us to become full on teachers. My angle is to provide the environment and tools to do the homework but if they don't know how to do it then they go back and tell the teacher that they don't know how to do it as the teacher needs to do more work. What really seems to happen is that she finds a friend who does know how to do it and they all copy but hey, that's how school has been since the beginning of time.
Last school meeting they said we should log into our childs frog portal every night and check how they are doing, yea, nothing else to do!
You wait till they get older, then its all about the homework your supposed to get involved with which apart from the fact that you won't understand what they are doing if you do then you probably know how to do it in the "wrong" way. My step daughters school seem to want us to become full on teachers. My angle is to provide the environment and tools to do the homework but if they don't know how to do it then they go back and tell the teacher that they don't know how to do it as the teacher needs to do more work. What really seems to happen is that she finds a friend who does know how to do it and they all copy but hey, that's how school has been since the beginning of time.
Last school meeting they said we should log into our childs frog portal every night and check how they are doing, yea, nothing else to do!
Soldato
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I think this is just a formal way of getting people to know what their responsibilities are (or should be)
Every time we do a training course at work, the trainer starts by getting us all to sign a contract that "we create ourselves" and in essence we don't create it because its always the same things on it after some prompting by the trainer.
And they are always common sense items, eg "be respectful of each other"
This school contract to me sounds like a lot of the same sort of thing.
Every time we do a training course at work, the trainer starts by getting us all to sign a contract that "we create ourselves" and in essence we don't create it because its always the same things on it after some prompting by the trainer.
And they are always common sense items, eg "be respectful of each other"
This school contract to me sounds like a lot of the same sort of thing.
By "respect the view of the staff at the school" it isn't saying that you must agree with them. It's just saying that you must try to respect the fact that they hold those views; I'm sure you'd be free to argue your own point-of-view and I'm sure that in most cases they'd accept and respect that you hold them.
The issue is that it's easy to misinterpret something. If a child came home and reported that something had happened at school and you immediately start ranting about it on Facebook / WhatsApp, then regardless of what really happened you're creating negativity in the minds of other people about that school. The school know that once it's been cleared up, most people aren't going to go back and issue an apology or delete their post, and by that point reputational damage has already been done. All they're asking is for parents to talk to the school before going off on one.
If you don't get your issue resolved after talking with the school, then all bets are off and they can fully expect to see you ranting all over social media. They're not asking you to never talk about it, only to speak to them first. I think that's an entirely reasonable ask.
I didn't interpret it as agreeing with them. But I think my point still stands, like I said you can be courteous and listen to a pov without needing to respect it.
I don't, for example others might have the same issue, the school doesn't get to dictate who you might discuss things with first whether in person or via social media. Note I said nothing about misinterpreting things and having some big rant on Facebook.
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NVM
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Man of Honour
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The whole point of having someone legally qualified is to give the show some legitimacy, but it's an entertainment show first and foremost. I wouldn't read anything more into it than that.
Soldato
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There are plenty of parents who dont do the standard stuff expected so perhaps it is just a reminder to them, most of the stuff asked of a parent on that list comes naturally to the parents who give a toss but unfortunately some parents dont.
Some of the points sound like an attempt by the nanny state to intrude on the childs home life/upbringing to me, for example:
Not really any of their business unless it seriously impacts on the childs ability to learn (ie. death in the immediate family/illness).
So if the school say little Jimmy needs to go on an a "Are you transgender and just don't know it?" brainwas.... 'awareness' course the parents have to support that decision.
What is it exactly and since when did school teachers who have 30+ kids per class to juggle around know better than parents what they need?
So they can give you loads of other parenting instructions I assume.
It's kind of an extension of the creeping authoritarianism for me, 1% of something (in this case parents) can't do it right so the state uses that 1% to dictate to/intrude on the lives of the other 99%.
So what's the punishment for not signing? suspended until signed? child taken into care by social services because you're a bad parent for not signing? or have they not got that far yet? what's the punishment if you sign it and the school feel you aren't keeping to the agreement?
Not really any of their business unless it seriously impacts on the childs ability to learn (ie. death in the immediate family/illness).
So if the school say little Jimmy needs to go on an a "Are you transgender and just don't know it?" brainwas.... 'awareness' course the parents have to support that decision.
What is it exactly and since when did school teachers who have 30+ kids per class to juggle around know better than parents what they need?
So they can give you loads of other parenting instructions I assume.
It's kind of an extension of the creeping authoritarianism for me, 1% of something (in this case parents) can't do it right so the state uses that 1% to dictate to/intrude on the lives of the other 99%.
So what's the punishment for not signing? suspended until signed? child taken into care by social services because you're a bad parent for not signing? or have they not got that far yet? what's the punishment if you sign it and the school feel you aren't keeping to the agreement?
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"Not really any of their business unless it seriously impacts on the childs ability to learn (ie. death in the immediate family/illness)."
So it's their business then? Schools are responsible for bringing up children the majority of the time. What exactly is wrong with having some sort of agreement people can get behind? No one says it's legal and like I've said...the op broke one of those rules already so clearly it's necessary.
I find it nuts that so many people are overthinking this. You don't bring your children up...your teachers do. They do the leg work from 4 onwards.
So it's their business then? Schools are responsible for bringing up children the majority of the time. What exactly is wrong with having some sort of agreement people can get behind? No one says it's legal and like I've said...the op broke one of those rules already so clearly it's necessary.
I find it nuts that so many people are overthinking this. You don't bring your children up...your teachers do. They do the leg work from 4 onwards.
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Soldato
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Haha I went to a C of E primary school (parents not religious, just only primary school in the village) and we used to do lords prayer daily, as well as reception with hymns each morning haha even used to have to go to the vicars house each week (which tbh could have been well dodgy, good job we were a bunch of ugly kids) but hasn't made me religious in any way.There are more religious based assemblies and are involved with church events, tbh, it's no different than when I was at school bar the extra religious assembly each week where the reverend comes in and speak to them. We weren't sure about it as neither of us are religious but it's what i would class as "within acceptable levels" lol
My 2 boys are 10 and 13 and the school they're in is a bit religious. You have to sit and listen to their religious stuff on the first day of term, which I love each year. But it isn't forced on the kids and most is optional. Again, it was within the acceptable level
Soldato
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We used to have that too, but the rector used to come in to the school once a week as the rectory was just down the road.
You'll soon realise people go a little bit...special...when it comes to kids sometimes.
It's clearly written as a reminder for parents what their responsibilities to their children are. It's called a "contract" because that way people will actually read it.
IMO, It's more of a reflection on poor parenting and the school trying to do something proactive about it rather than some sort of strict management at the school.
IMO, It's more of a reflection on poor parenting and the school trying to do something proactive about it rather than some sort of strict management at the school.
Don
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@RDMI was going to give my opinion, but as a teacher it seems I am the enemy of all reasonable parents and have nothing useful to say!
I have nothing but respect for teachers. I have watched my mum struggle with dealing with problem children my whole life. She taught in PRU later on because she wanted to make a difference to the kids who needed it most.
Teachers are not the problem. It's the system that makes it hard for you to do your job. My sister just started her career as a teacher and is staying in private education on advice from my mum.
Parents would scream at her, and she had a knife thrown at her once, she has been assaulted and came home bruised and battered more than once.
I would actually value your opinion in this thread. Please add you thoughts.