Sean Connery was putting up some new shelves...
- Thread starter Naffa
- Start date
So if you thought that was bad, try this for size:
Sean Connery gets a call from his agent one day. The agent goes "Sean, I've got you a job, starts tomorrow, early. You'll have to be there for 10-ish".
Sean furrows his brow and says "Tennish? But I don't even have a racket."
Sean Connery gets a call from his agent one day. The agent goes "Sean, I've got you a job, starts tomorrow, early. You'll have to be there for 10-ish".
Sean furrows his brow and says "Tennish? But I don't even have a racket."
i actually lol'ed at that one ^^^
I think the difference is the 'accent' is written out in that one.
The OP might have been funnier if the punchline was written:
'Oh gosh... I'm so ashamed of myshelf.'
Not a lot funnier I'll grant you, but possibly easier to understand.
I chortled Simulator.
I have a story about when I met Sean Connery. It was when I was a child and my mum took me to see Sean Connery. It was a great day and to remember it my mum said we should get a picture. He agreed and told me, "How about if you sit on my lap?"
The picture now hangs on my wall with my turd on his lap and Sean looking disgusted and confused.
I have a story about when I met Sean Connery. It was when I was a child and my mum took me to see Sean Connery. It was a great day and to remember it my mum said we should get a picture. He agreed and told me, "How about if you sit on my lap?"
The picture now hangs on my wall with my turd on his lap and Sean looking disgusted and confused.
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Personally, I just wouldn't have bothered
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Couldn't let the thread go without this old chestnut!
Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night.
Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.
After the show, Cilla says,
“Sean, if I’m not bein too forward, I’d luv to ‘ave sex with yer.
Lets go back to my ouse, we could ‘ave a lorra lorra fun.
So they went back to her place and got comfortable
After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.
Afterwards, Sean says
“If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex.
But while I’m shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma Willie in your right hand”
Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says “Okay”
He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before.
Then Sean says
“Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You’ll have to…….”
“I know Sean. Yer want me to ‘old onto yer bat ‘n balls again. No problem Hun”.
Cilla complies with the routine.
The results this time are absolutely mind blowing.
Once it’s all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks
“Sean, tell me, dis ‘oldin yer balls in one hand and yer Willie in de other – does it really stimulate yer that much?”
Sean replies, “No, not at all Cilla,
But the last time I shlept with a scouser, the ***** stole ma wallet!”
Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night.
Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.
After the show, Cilla says,
“Sean, if I’m not bein too forward, I’d luv to ‘ave sex with yer.
Lets go back to my ouse, we could ‘ave a lorra lorra fun.
So they went back to her place and got comfortable
After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.
Afterwards, Sean says
“If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex.
But while I’m shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma Willie in your right hand”
Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says “Okay”
He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before.
Then Sean says
“Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You’ll have to…….”
“I know Sean. Yer want me to ‘old onto yer bat ‘n balls again. No problem Hun”.
Cilla complies with the routine.
The results this time are absolutely mind blowing.
Once it’s all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks
“Sean, tell me, dis ‘oldin yer balls in one hand and yer Willie in de other – does it really stimulate yer that much?”
Sean replies, “No, not at all Cilla,
But the last time I shlept with a scouser, the ***** stole ma wallet!”
wow
I remember when that was originally told. Cracking joke