Self Confidence

Xinn

Xinn

Xinn

Soldato
Joined
5 Apr 2006
Posts
4,103
Location
Wakefield
Does anybody else suffer from low self confidence?

I never used to have a problem during school/college etc and was very confident of both my abilities and myself physically/mentally but recently it's the complete opposite.

Having recently come out of a 4 year relationship I'm wanting to get "back on the market" so to speak but I just don't feel like I have confidence to go talk to people I don't know and at 23 years old I feel a bit of a prat that I can't do something as simple as this.

Seems some members here have at least been in a similar situation in the past from looking at older threads, any advice :confused:
 
The more you do something the better you get at it and the more confident you become.
So get on with chatting to people :)
 
R34P3R said:
Does anybody else suffer from low self confidence?

I never used to have a problem during school/college etc and was very confident of both my abilities and myself physically/mentally but recently it's the complete opposite.

Having recently come out of a 4 year relationship I'm wanting to get "back on the market" so to speak but I just don't feel like I have confidence to go talk to people I don't know and at 23 years old I feel a bit of a prat that I can't do something as simple as this.

Seems some members here have at least been in a similar situation in the past from looking at older threads, any advice :confused:
Click to expand...

I was in a similar situation last year, same age.
 
Been there done that got the t shirt. It's all about doing what you want and get talking to people. Way I got over it was just going up to girls in a bar and just start chatting and without being forward just see if they're spoken for or if they find you attractive. If so result! If not well life goes on. The point is life will always give you positive and negative responses and knock you back. It's down to you to take it on your stride and build yourself up.

The old saying is true 'Don't ask, don't get!':D
 
Morba said:
The more you do something the better you get at it and the more confident you become.
So get on with chatting to people :)
Click to expand...

This is good advice.

As hard as may feel to begin with, the easiest thing to do is to believe in yourself, even if you walk up to someone and make a complete hash of talking to someone new, just laugh it off.

After all in most cases you're no worse off than if you hadn't and you can use it as a reference for the future.

Don't care about what people think of you, someone thinks you're a ******* for saying a certain thing to someone, that's their problem not yours, aslong as you can feel good about what you do who cares?

As cheesy as it may sound, if you need help, the best person for it is yourself, affirm to yourself how great you are, nothing breaks confidence like your own misgivings, if you don't believe others wont.


As an addendum, if you slipped over in the street, would you cry on the way home or grin and laugh it off?
 
Apok said:
As an addendum, if you slipped over in the street, would you cry on the way home or grin and laugh it off?
Click to expand...

Laugh for sure, especially if people I didn't know were around which I guess is part of the problem. Worrying what other people think :(
 
it depends what the situation is but overall if you take the attitude of being respectful to a person but ultimately having belief in yourself so not caring too much whether they like you are not, you can't go wrong. the simple thing is to core down on the reason of the situation and to get to the end result in the simplest and most logical way possible
 
R34P3R said:
Laugh for sure, especially if people I didn't know were around which I guess is part of the problem. Worrying what other people think :(
Click to expand...

Then just do the same any time you "fall" i.e. any time something might not go amazingly well.

Just because someone might think you;re a joke doesn't mean you are, everyone has their own opinions and viewpoints.

For example i get called gay constantly by some people simply because i use a certain shampoo, doesn't mean i am gay, nor does it mean i have to care that someone "thinks" i'm gay.

remember You are what you are not what other people say you are, and that people don't always say what they think or that what say is always true.

People like to ridicule what they are scared of or what they don't understand, and as i said in another thread, people tend to see you as you see yourself.
 
Two things:
1) Look good = more confidence. Put effort into making yourself look good at all times, it makes a huge difference when you approach people.
2) I realised that people really don't care if you make a fool out of yourself or say/do something embarrassing. Yes they may laugh at first (either in your face or secretly laughing inside), but then they will soon move on and forget what you've done/said.
 
been in a similar situation for around 2yrs now.

recently started going out allot more having a drink meeting new people etc
and feeling way better now.

not sure what happend "its like a switch"

maybe try some exercise of some sort that will boost confidence
and energy levels.

cheers!
 
confidence is an odd thing, on paper i should have every reason to be confident, and in the right environment im the life and soul of the party but put me into an alien environment and I wont say boo to a goose, I rely massively on alcohol to make up for my clearly lacking social ability, im not saying its the answer but after x pints im myself again and the alien environment i was previously scared of is now my domain to enjoy as i see fit.
 
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