Serious family legal issue

singularity · 23 Jun 2019 at 09:33

Hi all
I would appreciate someone in the know sharing any relevant knowledge they may have.
This is the tip of an ice berg.

I have a grandson, the father of which is my son.

The mother has a step father in a very screwed up complex family.

Anyhow up until now the mother of the mother has in a thinly veiled manner try to get money out of me. Because the mother is spending all her benefits on drink an drugs (not a large amount).

Anyway, add that we have no access to the child and they are dragging my son through the courts to stop him having access, all of their claims have been proven false.

Finally I have received this from step father (his sole contribution)

'Hi ***** this is **'***s husband.
I don't agree with the snide comments you are making about ****. But let me say i also have a comfortable life and and a very well paid job. I believe the mother is in the best place for her and (my son) to sort things out if i bring mother back in to the family home like you keep going on about (my son) will not see the child for a very long time as i will fight it all the way and i dont think anybody wants that. If you or your family can not support this then i will get involved.'

He has two of his own kids in his house and has no room, the mother has been in social housing but has got in arrears on the rent the council are moving her into other social housing.

The mother's family have thrown her out on several occasions and at times she has been sofa surfing.

My son pays child support and has bought clothes and shoes for his son on the rare occasion that he has been allowed contact.

What do you think?

I have considered letter box, gucci belt and boxing stance.

singularity · 23 Jun 2019 at 11:32

OK thanks guys just wanted to check I wasn't missing something.

Tldr if I don't pay them then they won't let my son see his son,
And they're all dodgy as hell

singularity · 23 Jun 2019 at 11:52

mrbell1984 said:
Then there is only one thing to do, don't see his son if his son wants to see you he will find a way without letting money get in the way don't go low to their bribes!

Problem is my grand son is 11 months and my son really wants to see him so..

singularity · 23 Jun 2019 at 12:17

String said:
It's there any chance of you hitting the mother, like, in a sexy way?

I don't recommend it

singularity · 23 Jun 2019 at 13:00

BowdonUK said:
How come you're in communication with that side of the family if they are in legal court battles with your son?

Exactly, I just sent a text asking how my grand son was and I get all this hassle back

singularity · 23 Jun 2019 at 13:01

Terminal_Boy said:
Running low on Gucci belts?

Very good question, maybe it's a temporary liquidity problem.
Spent too much on Gucci belts this year

singularity · 26 Jun 2019 at 15:48

Psycho Sonny said:
Why can't you just change the names and make the post clearer?

Jack - Grandson
Rob - Son
etc.

the way you have done it is terrible to read and figure out.

also it sounds like your son picked a terrible person to fertilise. best thing for him to do would be walk away or seek legal advice from a solicitor.

if this guy is in such a well paid job and comfortable why are his offspring and partners on drugs and living in social housing and being evicted, etc?

it sounds like perfect jeremy kyle type scenario. walk away.

Yes, I was in a state of shock Tbh.

It started because I sent a text to her mum asking politely about the welfare of my grand son. This triggered a massive rant by her basically asking for money.
For a year they have been messing my son around and even taken him to court claiming he was abusing the child's mother. He wasn't, they had an argument.

She won't let us see the child at all now, I've seen him twice last time about 6 months ago.

The child's mother has a real dad and a step dad, the real dad seems to have alcohol related self control problems.

The step dad won't allow the child's mother to live in his house where her real mother lives with the step dad.
God this difficult.

A = childs mother
B= child's grandmother (mother's mother)
C=mothers step dad.
D=mothers real dad

D seems to have alcohol related self control issues, never met him.
B seems to vary from being reasonable to going crazy.
C has sent me one text, no other communication except when at hospital when baby was born. He smelled of booze and had a pack of cigs in his hand.

OK
A is the child's mother 20 years old,
A, has been living in a rented flat and not managing her money, A has recently been thrown out of flat and put in council flat. A was reported to social services by B for smoking cannabis.
B has told me a third girl has been a bad influence on A. She has given A money for food and baby stuff, third girl and A have been blowing the money on booze and fags.
A tells me i am evil and never wants to hear from me, tells me she is a great mother and not to contact B or C. She has done this regularly for 10 months or so.

I texted B politely enquiring about baby's welfare as A told my son baby had virus and my son couldn't see baby.

This was supposed to be supervised contact as per one of the court hearings. To prove my son could care for baby.

B goes on a massive rant about how much everything is costing her and slagging my family and my son off, he is a student so has no money.
I did reply slightly less politely, but nothing too bad

I then received the one and only text from C saying give me money or I will do all I can to stop your son seeing baby.
I replied saying C and B will never see a penny from me.

Oh and I did call A weird and say her step dad C was a nasty little man.

What's more this is all absolutely true

singularity · 27 Jun 2019 at 09:32

Thanks for the advice guys, very useful indeed

I am extremely grateful

singularity · 27 Jun 2019 at 12:25

-westy- said:
I would strongly suggest legal advice - in my experience, not a lot actually goes to court; quite often taking legal action is enough to make them back down. I would also suggest mediation between your son and the mother of his child. If she's not talking sense, she will be told as such. It can quite often be very effective in making parents grow up and get on with it.

We've spent the last year trying to get her to go through mediation, she's brought 2 court cases with made up allegations, my son is supposed to be attending 6 supervised visitations in caffcas center, 15 weeks have passed since he was supposed to have 1 every week, he has had 1, the caffcas supervisor seemed very happy, A has just pulled out of the latest one as she is being evicted.

singularity · 27 Jun 2019 at 13:29

-westy- said:
Is there a reason why he's only allowed supervised visitation? Is this due to the claims she has made? Or will she only allow supervised visits?

Ultimately, if she keeps on cancelling then it will go against her - but you need to keep a record of absolutely everything - if he is showing up to appointments and she doesn't show then he needs to have a copy of a sign-in sheet or similar. Keep evidence of even minor things like parking ticket stubs to show that he has been somewhere. If she's accusing him of any violence, then aim to mitigate that - if there's even been a hint of it, then agree to counselling etc. Be reasonable and calm - it's important to not ask for too much - you'll get plenty of people saying "go for full custody" - unless the child is at risk of serious harm then that simply won't happen, so just ask for what's fair. What's stopping him from going to court to ask for visitation etc?

Yeah she made loads of claims all unfounded, my view is, as he hadn't seen the sprog for so long the court wanted to be super cautious and it was what caffcas recommended.

She had applied for a prohibitive steps order that was thrown out.

No, with regards to custody thanks for the advice.
Personally I think her situation will deteriorate, she has some pretty dodgy acquaintances leading her astray.

Having said that I would by far prefer everyone just to get on. Why wouldn't I?