Should I Seek Therapy?

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Two years ago I went through a painful divorce from a four years long marriage that turned sour. My ex and her parents were very manipulative and abusive in certain ways that turned my life a living hell.

After the divorce I enjoyed quite a bit of freedom. I was careless. Being on and off employed, doing short term jobs was what's keeping me occupied. I blew all the money I had earned.

About a year ago I have met my current girlfriend. She has brought me love and helped me pulling my life back on track.

However, in recent month I noticed a change in my previous laid back personality. I would get agitated very easily especially towards my girlfriend, whom I considered to be very close to me. I often have a very negative attitude towards things, which would affect and hurt my girlfriend. I am pretty surprised that at times when I couldn't control my agitation or anger, I actually had a conscious section in my head. I knew what I was doing, but I could not hold myself back.

Overtime, I had realized what's causing all these, after my life seems to be stable now. The failed marriage that, whenever I recall any memory from it would had my teeth grind in anger.

I think I really need some help. I tried to reason with myself, and tried to control my anger but it is still happening on a daily basis.

Apologies for this long read. It actually took me two and half years to muck up the courage to ask this question.

Any thought or if anyone with similar experience would like to give me some pointers would be greatly appreciated.



tl,dr: I think I'm ****** up after a failed marriage 2 years ago, now I become abusive myself. I'm lost I don't know where to seek help.
 
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Finish your girlfriend, you know you are not treating her right so whatever reason you'll probably continue to hurt her, probably best for her in the long term to do it quickly.

That or talk to her about it? But what do I know, this is a computer forum.

KaHn
 
i dont think you should finish your girlfriend, shes probably supportive and that will be good for you, providing you dont keep taking it out on her! stop it! go in another room or something..

book a doctors appointment and ask to be referred to counseling/talking therapy
 
Once you have identified what is wrong you have already won half the fight, now take it a step further and fix the problem. Goto your GP, look up local counselling services, be positive, there maybe no short term fix but things like this take time.
 
Hitman_Leon said:
Once you have identified what is wrong you have already won half the fight, now take it a step further and fix the problem. Goto your GP, look up local counselling services, be positive, there maybe no short term fix but things like this take time.
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Efour said:
do what Hitman_Leon says

Tell the GF too that you've been a dick and its not her fault. She will always feel like its her fault.
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This is the right answer (both posts together). I'd probably read some anger management books before going to see a GP.
 
Counselling and talking with your girlfriend seems to be the right approach here. Your girlfriend will probably appreciate your openness and honesty.
 
KaHn said:
Finish your girlfriend, you know you are not treating her right so whatever reason you'll probably continue to hurt her, probably best for her in the long term to do it quickly.

That or talk to her about it? But what do I know, this is a computer forum.

KaHn
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What useless advice.

Yes, get counselling, it can be invaluable. Talk to your GF and be open about this.
 
bum said:
However, in recent month I noticed a change in my previous laid back personality. I would get agitated very easily especially towards my girlfriend, whom I considered to be very close to me. I often have a very negative attitude towards things, which would affect and hurt my girlfriend. I am pretty surprised that at times when I couldn't control my agitation or anger, I actually had a conscious section in my head. I knew what I was doing, but I could not hold myself back.

Overtime, I had realized what's causing all these, after my life seems to be stable now. The failed marriage that, whenever I recall any memory from it would had my teeth grind in anger.

I think I really need some help. I tried to reason with myself, and tried to control my anger but it is still happening on a daily basis.


tl,dr: I think I'm ****** up after a failed marriage 2 years ago, now I become abusive myself. I'm lost I don't know where to seek help.
Click to expand...

I've highlighted the key parts (and got rid of the backstory behind it). You've recognised that you've got an issue to resolve and what you think is the cause of the issue. You've tried to cope with it yourself but now feel a third party intervention will make things clearer for you.

Strictly speaking you didn't need to post this topic, but probably deep down you are needing the reassurances that you are doing the right thing in seeking help. :)
 
OP do it, just think yourself lucky that you've recognised that you have a problem. Good luck mate, can be hard work turning stuff like this around but it'll be worth it. :)
 
Thank you all for your heart warming support.

I had spoke to my gf about my past experience and in fact it was the talking that led me to reflect upon myself.

I have never thought that I would actually be traumatized from such event. The anger towards my ex and her family didn't go away one bit also made me realize maybe this is where the origin is.

Luckily up till now I haven't said or done anything to my current gf and my family that I would regret. (But my attitude and this anger issue need to be tackled)

Still I really do appreciate your input and support.

Thank you everyone.
 
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