Silly Clients

Malevolence said:
When I was working in the council's IT dept., I was called out to another building because a few of the people couldn't get their computers to turn on. Now this was the day after that particular office had been set-up as a trial for wireless, back when wireless was pretty new.

Turned out the manager had removed the power leads because they'd been told they'd gone completely wireless. I kid you not.
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:D
 
I had an issue with out IT department where we needed a certificate installing on our PC's in order to use a piece of software. They sent it to me, wouldn't let me install it as we don't have admin rights so i contacted them stating that it wasn't working. The cert looks like it installs but didn't.

Explained this to them, 40 minutes they had control of my PC for trying all these different things and I could hear him ****ging me off over the phone because I obviously was the one to blame so in the end I lost my temper and shouted at him to just install it as admin and it would work. 2 mins later I was using the software. The idiot never did apologise, just went all sheepish with me and said goodbye.
 
User - Hi my email isnt working my name is XXX and i work for is XXX
Me - Ok it shows on my records you left a month ago?
User - Thats correct
Me - As you no longer work for the company, your access has been revoked
User - yeah but i need all the contacts for my new job!! (with a rival firm)

Queue a very awkward conversation basically telling them to do one and reporting to his old Manager!
 
touch said:
Yep, dont worry, we are covered by the revised lower priced, lower functionality contract.

Doesnt stop the client moaning though. They want to pick and choose functionality from one contract with the price from the other contract :rolleyes:
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I feel you! The amount of clients we've had that sneakily introduce scope creep under the assumption that all the extra work is covered in the original contract is unreal.
 
Whilst my current clients are somewhat...special the best one I ever had was when I was a student and worked in a callcentre.

American lady on phone: hi, I can't get a connection to your network.

Me: can I have your number please so I can look at your account?

Lady: oh I don't have an account with you.

Me: well that's why you can't connect then.

Lady: well I don't think that's acceptable, I'd like to speak to your manager as I don't think you're providing an appropriate service.

Me: we are providing an appropriate service. You are not a customer of ours. Thus we are providing no service as is appropriate.

Lady: put your manager on the line.

Me: no.

Lady: expletives.

Me: I'm going to end the call now, I would normally thank you for your custom but as you've already stated you are not a customer of ours so I will merely wish you a good day!
 
touch said:
Client: How much would you charge for a project with functionality x, y and z?

Me: ££££

Client: That's too much, how much for just x and y?

Me: £££

Client: ok, do that!

Me: it's ready :D

Client: but it doesnt do z? YOU TOLD ME IT WOULD DO Z!?

:(
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My usual experience is:

Client: How much would you charge for a project with functionality x, y and z?

Me: £££££

Client: Erm, I was expecting £

Me: That's a $MONTHS long project. It will be £££££

Clent: My $RELATIVE (or) $MATE does things like that for £

Me: OK, sounds like we have a solution then........

End of meeting
 
I always enjoy the usual response to giving someone a price for something of,

"but it's for a charity event"

Because obviously if someone is supplying something for a charity all the costs associated with delivering that solution go away, there's no transport costs, the staff don't actually have any outgoings that they need to cover etc.
 
Dis86 said:
Whilst my current clients are somewhat...special the best one I ever had was when I was a student and worked in a callcentre.

American lady on phone: hi, I can't get a connection to your network.

Me: can I have your number please so I can look at your account?

Lady: oh I don't have an account with you.

Me: well that's why you can't connect then.

Lady: well I don't think that's acceptable, I'd like to speak to your manager as I don't think you're providing an appropriate service.

Me: we are providing an appropriate service. You are not a customer of ours. Thus we are providing no service as is appropriate.

Lady: put your manager on the line.

Me: no.

Lady: expletives.

Me: I'm going to end the call now, I would normally thank you for your custom but as you've already stated you are not a customer of ours so I will merely wish you a good day!
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Wow, how do these people operate?! Who in their right mind would be like this with a company they know they don't have an account with? Geeeeeeezuz
 
Do your clients come back to see you a couple of months later when $RELATIVE (or) $MATE has utterly failed to produce anything useful?

Because one of my favourite things to do at work is making numpties that ignore my advice eat some humble pie where their idea goes sideways on them.
 
Terminal_Boy said:
Do your clients come back to see you a couple of months later when $RELATIVE (or) $MATE has utterly failed to produce anything useful?

Because one of my favourite things to do at work is making numpties that ignore my advice eat some humble pie where their idea goes sideways on them.
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Sometimes, but they are usually marked as a waste of time prospect and never called again.
They are usually prospects who have a total yearly IT spend of approximately £2.50p and half a packet of cigarettes. Not worth our time.

Ideally we would qualify out before ever setting foot in their offices but our sales people's deal qualification skills is another conversation for another time........
 
Well obviously it costs more at that point. And what Rilot said. Penny pinching clients aren't worth dealing with.
 
valkia said:
Wow, how do these people operate?! Who in their right mind would be like this with a company they know they don't have an account with? Geeeeeeezuz
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I have no idea

Client: I want Y service

Me: ok, firstly, which equipment do you have?

Client: Equipment A

Me: Ok so I'll enable X which will put Y & Z on your account, however because you're using A, Z won't work but you'll get Y which is what you requested. Can you confirm you understand Z won't work with your equipment

Client: Yes, but I'll get Y so it's all good.

-1 week passes -

Client: I upgraded to X last week and Z won't work

Me: (opens transcripts from previous contact): Sir you were told that although Z is enabled, your equipment wouldn't work with it but as you requested Y and are using Y then you agreed to the change and confirmed you understood Z wouldn't work.

Client: No I didn't. I was mis-sold a product, I want to cancel my 2 yr contract.

Me: Sir, you did indeed confirm Z would not work. I have the transcript from the recorded call you made last week.

Client: (silence for about 20 secs) Ok, how do I go about upgrading my equipment?

Me: (transferred to a different dept)
 
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