Social anxiety

PaulStat

PaulStat

PaulStat

Soldato
Joined
1 Mar 2003
Posts
5,508
Location
Cotham, Bristol
Who here suffers from social anxiety? And how does it affect you? I do, for as long as I can remember as well. I find if I can force myself to really seem chatty and friendly from first impressions then generally I am fine with people, if however I'm having a moment and I meet someone for the first time and it doesn't go perfectly I can never get it back! I forever question myself, deride myself and generally overthink things!

I even had remote web cam therapy recently, which didn't really help all that much because I forced myself to talk, as a result I felt comfortable with the therapist, I was the real me. I'm yet to find a way to be the real me with everyone! And I'm nearly 37!

Interested to hear other peoples experiences! :p
 
I assume this is what I suffer from as well but it seems as soon as I meet new people or have to talk to more than 1 person (aka small groups) I literally just sweat buckets :( Not in a horrible smelly way lol but literally any shirt I am wearing just gets soaked.... its only when I am out in public or talking to people though.

Really frustrating as find myself having to wear to layers to try hide the marks but in turn I get hotter..... Zzzzz had it for last 5-6 years and 33 now.
 
I don't really have anxiety in that I don't really care enough but I used to a bit more as a kid but became hardened towards it - I've always felt like everyone else was given a manual when it comes to dealing with people and I didn't - as a child these days I'd probably be diagnosed somewhere along the lines of borderline Autism or something.

I've always gone through life with the attitude of not letting things like this control or define me as much as possible - and if someone else has problems with my handling of a social situation they go down in my estimation.

(I'm also nearly 37 for the record).

Though for the last few months I've been managing people at work - which does scare the **** out of me but I've just got on and done it.
 
A guy at work with has something similar, but gets extreme anxiety traveling anywhere except to work and other places within a few miles of where he lives. Socializing in un-familiar places etc.

He was never like that, he used to sing in a band, go out get ******, etc (back when I was a nipper lol). But he's closing in on 50 and it's just hit him now which is really weird. He has been going to therapy and improved loads over the past few months though.
 
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FlakGunna said:
Alcohol works wonders.
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Sad but so true!

Poorly socialised when I was younger and never really grew out of it. I'm not a big fan of small talk and I'm usually content with not speaking unless I have to or actually have something to say, this often gets seen as rudeness or being shy from others but I'm really not.

When I first started drinking and going out it helped me come out of my shell and I did it enough to not need alcohol to loosen me up. You learn how to make small talk and get more comfortable meeting new people. I still occasionally freeze, get nervous sweats, or appear uninterested in talking, but it's pretty rare these days. You also learn how to make situations more comfortable for yourself which helps a lot!

Only issue I have now is that I feel a bit fake when I have to put on a chatty persona and it's pretty draining if I'm not in the right company.
 
explicit4u said:
Poorly socialised when I was younger and never really grew out of it. I'm not a big fan of small talk and I'm usually content with not speaking unless I have to or actually have something to say, this often gets seen as rudeness or being shy from others but I'm really not.
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100% this for me, I'm not intentionally rude, but I can see how it might seem that way from someone elses perspective
 
I do, I'm not sure if it's directly related to Aspergers (official not from a web test self diagnosis). I accept I'll never feel comfortable in some situations and I've come to peace with it. I just adjust things accordingly eg, I'll book a table online, use live chat instead of phone when I can etc. Luckily my job only requires me to work with a select few people whom I've grown quite comfortable with.
 
The only time I have anxiety is when I walk to the local shop a few minutes away just to pick up some things. It'll take me 10-20 minutes to actually leave the house because of it, and then I'll be walking around the shop sweating. Really strange, considering I'm normally an extroverted person who is absolutely fine being in large groups or giving speeches, etc. :confused:
 
G-MAN2004 said:
considering I'm normally an extroverted person who is absolutely fine being in large groups or giving speeches, etc.
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I'm absolutely fine with standing up and giving a speech in front of 100s of people or even interacting with a large crowd but dealing with someone one to one my mind just doesn't seem to have a mechanism for it.

(It confuses the **** out of people who put me down as being shy, etc. which I'm really not).
 
It comes and goes.
I work in the licensed trade, and I'm generally fine behind the bar. Social situations, such as staying for a drink or two after I finish a shift, I find quite stressful sometimes.
By sheer misfortune, I currently run the place. Not my choice, it just ended up happening. Every now and again I get panicky about going to work, like I just can't face it.
Usually fine once I'm there, it's the anticipation that gets me.
Stupid profession for me, really, but it's just about all I've done since I turned 18, and I'll be 40 this year. Going off on a whole different tangent at my age seems tricky, as I have no experience in other fields. Kinda feels like the pub trade has me by the unmentionables sometimes. I want out, but have no idea what else I could do.
Something IT would be amazing, but no official quals. Even thought about trying out as a rig-builder for OCUK (thought about it, never applied), as that is my one true hobby and I love doing it. But that would involve a full up-sticks and move to the other end of the country. With no savings.

Sorry, went off on a wibble there. But yeah, I know how it feels.
 
Glacius said:
I assume this is what I suffer from as well but it seems as soon as I meet new people or have to talk to more than 1 person (aka small groups) I literally just sweat buckets :( Not in a horrible smelly way lol but literally any shirt I am wearing just gets soaked.... its only when I am out in public or talking to people though.

Really frustrating as find myself having to wear to layers to try hide the marks but in turn I get hotter..... Zzzzz had it for last 5-6 years and 33 now.
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I'm trying w product called perspirex on a recommendation for this. Literally used it for first time tonight. I let you know how it goes it you like.


I get this to a moderate amount. Its usually with people I don't get. Most of my work colleagues are presentation nice. As in they are pleasant but quite superficial at work. I struggle to interact and hate any social things. Now I just don't go.

But I'm introverted, so it drains me quickly being social generally. However when me and the gf go to our friends house for DnD and board game sessions (brand new to this) I am fine for days with 6+ people.
Is because I truly get on with these. We have geeky conversations and everyone is on a similar page. For me it's more that I have to actually truly be in tune with those in socialising with.
Before I've had circumstantial friends. Because I've never really found my place. And it's only when u find some like minded people I realised its not actually people I have issue with, I just need to be with specific types!

For years I thought it was just anxiety!

I feel for those who have it much much worse. Because it makes work torture sometimes
 
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