Some life advice appreciated

[gingergamer]

Can I firstly stress that I really do hate to be making this kind of topic. I apologise for the rant and lengthy post, as there’s XXXX number of people in an identical situation and not for a second do I consider myself a special *********.

But with no objective opinion to turn to in real life at the moment and a lot of the members here straight talking, wiser and more experienced than myself, I thought I might as well get some food for thought.


I’m 24 now, being quite the computer geek growing up and always interested in tech, I studied computing back in college. After deferring studying networking at uni to work for a bit, I got involved in recreational drug use for a couple years which led to a ‘living for the now mentality’ stuck in a catering job to pay for my weekend nightlife (I’d like to point out that is all behind me and has been for some years now, and I have been through MH therapy which finished earlier this year).

This lifestyle, and somewhat downward spiral, was likely recognised by my family, as 5 years ago this January I was offered a role by my uncle at his small, independent (however most successful in our town) financial services, starting as a mortgage administrator and going on to get the necessary qualification to become a mortgage adviser myself March 2017, as well as basically the office manager at present. And the job role really is comfortable. Pay is good, office location brilliant, I can have time off where needed - he even said I could have a month off to go travelling next year if I wanted when the topic came up.

I can’t explain the gratitude I have for his support over the years, he’s always been someone I can go to for advice in general life and has done masses for me in this job.


However, even working with very successful self-employed mortgage advisers showcasing the career potential possible, I can’t help but feel so incredibly lost in life right now. It’s probably accurate to assume that there is not one broker in my office that loves mortgages, and it actually saddens me to think about my future unfolding as quickly as it seems to be currently, to then look back and wonder why I stayed where I was all that time.


I don’t have any get up and go about my current role. Despite being qualified for over 18 months now building up a client bank has been very slow/non-existent, and I can’t ignore a large part of that fact being my lack of motivation for the industry. There is very little I am in fact motivated for. It’s spells of intense passion and motivation that seem to die off after a few months at most, and then back to existing the day in-day out cycle of life.


But I feel like I am at such an impasse with no options. The thought of staying where I am, doing what I do for the rest of it pains me every single day, with this voice in the back of my mind telling me I got to be cut out for more than this surely.

With no family or emotional connection to you guys I suppose I’m after some sort of raw, unsweetened, truthful guidance and advice which I would usually get from my uncle. I apologise if this is a bit much for a Monday, but I had to get something out somewhere!

 

[gingergamer]

I appreciate the comments, and to be honest wouldn’t have a problem dropping back down to a starter salary if I changed industry. If I’m enjoying the work I’ll worry about the money coming later. It’s just knowing what jump to make and taking action.

But that’s the thing, I have no idea what I really want to do right now, yet everyone around me seems to be perfectly happy with the direction they’re heading in?

If I had to choose one strong interest I still have, whilst broad I know, it would be computers. It’s been the most consistent thing throughout my life so think I’ll do some research on entry roles along those lines.

 

[gingergamer]

Take your month off, not only to go travelling, but to think about your life. And you'll be doing that thinking away from work.

You say you are the de facto office manager; do you have any management qualifications? Because that might be another route forward.

Quite a good idea I suppose, with the weekly work week it can be hard to switch off from it completely to think.

Sadly no qualifications, as pretty much everyone is self-employed here there's not much management of the staff so to speak. Just a little bit for the other two employed administrators and general office duties, as my uncle still runs the business himself when he's around. Thinking about it now, sounds like it’s just been a bit of a weightless term thrown around

Did you ever actually go to university in the end? With no degree your options are perhaps a bit more limited.

You've currently benefited from, quite literally, nepotism. I'd be wary of throwing that away especially if you've not really got a clear direction anyway, why not aim to follow your previous (general) choice albeit on a part time basis - i.e. enrolling in the OU or London International program or Birkbeck (since your location says London) - you could follow an undergrad in computer science or similar via any of those in 4 years if you're prepared to work for it meanwhile you'll have a solid period of work experience on your CV too to make up for the earlier gap/silly years.

Perhaps during that process you might get a better idea of what you actually want to do with your life, you could switch jobs while completing your undergrad or perhaps you might find that an MSc is useful for whatever you become interested in and your undergrad is the key to that... you'll have 4 years to save up the extra cash needed for say a 1 year full time or a further 2 years of part time study.

I didn’t go to university as such, but briefly started a foundation degree when I was 20 which was run at the college I attended. For a couple of different reasons dropped out really early on during the cooling off period to return to full time work. In hindsight of course I should have stuck with it, or at least started a part-time/evening program instead.

And yes totally, it’s the way he’s structured his whole business. Almost everyone here he has known prior to them starting either as family friends or work friends at previous, larger financial firms. Some of them starting as junior admins and going through the same steps I have done.
He’s always been supportive, even when I explored moving to a faster paced role in an estate agents and spoke to him about it, he was helping and advising me right up until the interview stages. I didn’t get the job and remained here.

Having a quick look at starter roles in something to do with computers seems to show a degree will be preferred from their candidates. And even without one I’d assume my glass ceiling would end up being substantially lower?

I am based outside NW London, just inside the M25. A very convenient London train link means that part time undergrad very well could be an option.
Looks like I’m going to have to have a serious look at the options and think it through.
However like you say, I can always remain where I am for now and even whilst studying.

Thank you for the advice

 

[gingergamer]

Your uncle sounds like a decent person, you should talk to him about how you feel.

He really is, he does and has done a lot for the staff here since setting up some 15 years ago

I might have to, it isn't the first time I've had plans about going on elsewhere and he's always been accommodating.
Just hate to take the p*** being a mis-guided youth with ideas and then coming back if I change my mind or things don't work out.
Feel like he's owed more than that.

 

[gingergamer]

Just wanted to come back to thank you all for your inputs, I did read through them all but spent a week or so having a proper think of where I want to go and want to do.
Everything got a bit on top of me and I felt like something had to be done this second or the world was gonna end haha.

Whilst I do really want to do something in computers, there is no need to make any rash decisions or movements, I'm staying where I am for the time being. But, and forgive me for addressing it like this @BUDFORCE , if I can help it before its too late I don't want to be in that situation in 10yrs. Like you have said, it is borderline a corrupt industry and I can't help but think it will eventually have another downfall on the country...

But anyways, started studying for the CompTIA A+ cert on the side of work, and would need to make sure the degree route would be a sensible choice - whilst it seems a great option and the debt wouldn't bother me at all, I'm not 100% certain I'd be cut out for it.
But the A+ could possibly get me an entry role somewhere and at worst it will brush my knowledge up on the beginner/basic stuff. It's not even expensive either.

I will be talking this out with my uncle as well like a few have suggested. Not just yet, he came back from a 2-week holiday this weekend and has a lot on at the moment. So I'll likely bring it up sometime in the new year.

Thanks again Back to embracing the things I do enjoy!

 

[gingergamer]

@BUDFORCE Congrats! At least there is some pro's to that job move, all the best.
Nice to have the option to work on the couch in ya pants!

@booyaka it is certainly possible to get into the 6-figure bracket though. It's just taken some of the guys I know as long as 15+ years to get their client bank. Just don't think I'd look back and be happy about what I'd put myself through.

That is a good suggestion, I've met past employees who have gone on to become IFAs from the position I'm in. But I know it's just not something my uncle wishes to delve into. He's always been clear about keeping it to just mortgages and the associated insurances.
Plus with the recent influx of "complaints" from people trying their luck for interest-only compensation, I couldn't imagine him wanting to change either.
It's a small business and he's getting on for 60 now.

I believe it's the whole financial services industry, it's not for me. Working with banks and solicitors. I'm not a seller.

 

[gingergamer]

Then now is the time for you to look into management training so you can take over when he retires. And even if you move elsewhere or choose another career, management training is highly transferable.

This is something we have touched on before. He mentioned getting me to understand the business and compliance side of things, so that if he wasn't around (his son lives in US and there's always been talks of him and my aunt re-locating for parts of the year) that I would be able to run the business.

I suppose some management training on the side wouldn't be a disadvantage. I'll certainly have a look into this.

It's just difficult to feel motivated for an industry you have no vague interest in.