Someone getting jiggy with it in the same room as you trying to sleep

Normally when I tell this story I can do the horrible English accent, but I don't think that carries so well on a forum.....

About a dozen or so years ago I was in Falaraki on an 18-30 holiday, sharing a room with my mate... out on the ****, I wasn't feeling too great, and I was quite drunk. This girl comes up to me and starts chatting away in a horrible London accent, she's already tried it on a few times with me and I'm really just not interested, annoying personality and voice, she's slight and I don't like small girls.. so I introduce her to my mate - who doesn't look impressed with me for palming her off on him and head off back to the apartment. It's separate rooms, although there's no door, the room he's in is just a sort of archway separating it from the main room where I am.

So I get back and I fall asleep fast as you might expect. I'm woken up at some point later by him, who asks me if I'm asleep. Well not ******* now I'm not. Oh, can you pretend to be I've got a girl back and she doesn't want to... I interrupt and say I'll do better and go back to sleep, just leave me alone. Two minutes later I'm back nearly asleep and I get the horrible London accent saying "Daaaaaaaave". It's only at that point I realised who it was he'd brought back and nearly choked with laughter, while pretending to be asleep, I had to stop breathing to avoid laughing.

Some time later after falling nearly asleep I realised I'd been hearing a noise for some time - I'm sure you've done it yourself, you're aware of a noise, and aware you've been hearing it for a while but in your near sleeping state your mind hasn't identified what it really is. I then realised what that single solitary squak every couple of seconds was... and I was in the same position as poor Burnsy, it's not actually pleasant and you can't do anything about it without ruining their fun. I told my mate's wife (they hadn't met then) the story one time when drunk and she nearly killed him.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
Totally hypothetical context: you're in Japan staying with a friend and the sounds are quite obviously rather intimate. Do you mention it?
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In the UK, Ye and wind them up.

In Japan, No, different culture and way of thinking. Seen it on TV once where they said because the walls in the houses are paper thin, historically of course that they used to have the walls in their minds instead. So people doing things like sex, toilet etc were heard but not really happening. If that makes sense..
 
Oh man, I have a great story on this.

When in Argentina, I ended up sharing a room with two men from Jersey Shore. Now, I know this meant something but I didn't know what exactly... it didn't take long to find out. The very first thing that one of them said to me was:

"Hey man, check this out. Last night, I was ******* this chick so hard, my **** started bleeding ;)"
"......?!"
"Hi, I'm Brian"

I felt like I should bleach my hand after that shake.

I must confess, when they were on your side, they were great fun, intentionally and unintentionally. They had some very tall stories. Some were classic. My favourite one that had me laughing was:

"Hey man, check this out. This one time, I was in this bar. And there was this girl and I was like "oh man I so I have to close" so I went over there and I tried to close, but she wasn't giving it any so I couldn't close. And I was trying to close, but she still wasn't digging me. I was thinking about how to close and then heh, check this out, I gave her some amazing chat, and then I closed ;)"

Anyway, back to the point. We all went on a night out that I can barely remember except the end. They both stormed into the dawn at about 5am waking up the remaining 10 of us as they thrusted the lights on. Everyone was very unamused, with the exception of me who was still drunk, so I was smirking. They had brought with them two girls and then proceeded to try to have sex with them on the bunks, bunks which I might add had people on that had just been woken up. Essentially, I was laughing so hard at how miserable it was, watching them have sex over the other side of the room that one of the girls ran out crying. The others continued and I semi-watched on with my friend from England - "no, surely not? seriously?.... nooooooo :eek:". The festivities were put to a quick end after an irish gentlemen informed them that if they didn't pack it in he was going to rip off both of their heads. There were no fishfingers involved in this statement, this irish guy was the real deal. She ran away embarrassed and I collapsed into sleep.

The next day, everyone in the room was rightly peeved off to the nth degree. Irish man had the eye lazers on them, it was pretty tense actually. I must confess I did find it all slightly amusing. The Irish gentleman said "yeah it's funny for you being all the way over there, you weren't right next to it". I would find out how true this would be the following night. Being hungover as hell, I decided to stay in and get a better night's sleep (well, try at least, the hostel was above a very noisy porn cinema...). At 5am the doors burst open and once again the 2 for Jersey Shore had brought back with them two ladies, this time of the British variety. Everyone woke up again, the lights went on. Being entirely sobre, I wasn't very pleased and things took a nosedive as I realised that one of them had moved into the bunk next to mine :eek:

These beds were close. Really close, you could barely walk between them. I could have reached over and joined in, hell they probably would have been game. Honestly, it was horrendously awkward and uncomfortable. I was screwed up in a ball under my covers trying to think of something else. Eventually me and my friend protested that they should go into the bathroom - we were told to "**** off". Our protests grew louder and more aggressive. A threat of violence was made, but still, onwards it went. It came to the point where we actually had to be violent if we wanted this to stop and ultimately, we decided it wasn't worth it. But we still had an ace up our sleeve.... I made an enquiry:

"So....... what's her name?"
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This was enough to make them stop dead. He clearly didn't know and she looked somewhat disappointed, straddled on top of him. But then, to my absolute horror, she muttered 'never mind' and carried on! This British girl had absolutely no self-respect. This was the bottom of the bin of humanity in-front of me. I again curled up into a ball, totally defeated. One last moment of 'looking back at it now humour' occured. He bellowed loudly into a room "Uhhhh, hey, maybe we should be using a condom.....". She replied, practically into my ear: "....nuuuuuh, really? Do we have to? Really?"

:eek::eek::eek:

It was a good job we left the next day before they were up, because Irish man and my friend were good for a fight. One of the worst moments of my life, but oh dear, in hindsight one of the funniest :D
 
It just seemed too bizarre not to be from your own perspective but the way you introduced it... Edit : I wasn't doubting you, I was just asking as it wasn't clear if you were presenting it as your own or not.
 
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When I lived abroad some years back, my roommate once bought home a girl from a club he had been at.

It was pitch black in our room and despite them trying to be as quiet as possible as they got into bed, they had woken me, but they weren't aware of this. I was now slightly petrified because it mean't they were probably going to get it on and I was no longer asleep, and it was now to the point where it would be even worse if they realised I was awake.

So it came as a massive relief when I then heard my roommate say to her:
"Don't ******* touch me!"

Which then made it even harder to get to sleep because I was now thinking... just who the hell has he brought home to bed that he doesn't want to touch him!

I never did find out unfortunately as my shift at work started before it was even light.
 
Going back to the OP I'd say it's bang out of order unless it's an Easy rider & you get a go.
 
Hypothetically, this is basically a LOOK AT ME, I'M IN JAPAN, LOOK AT ME thread. Hypothetically, an actual 'I am in Japan, its cool, here are some photos' thread would be far better anyway.
 
[TW]Fox;21814400 said:
Hypothetically, this is basically a LOOK AT ME,I'M IN JAPAN WATCHING LIVE ANIME PORN, LOOK AT ME thread. Hypothetically, an actual 'I am in Japan, its cool, here are some photos' thread would be far better anyway.
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Fixed.

:)
 
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