Something i found funny
- Thread starter Spend_day
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Soldato
- Joined
- 2 Jun 2004
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- 18,423
You gotta wonder what good a sword is going to do you up there.
Seppuku just before impact
Ah, I didn't realise we were being so pedantic.
The sword was just part of the ceremonial dress.
Part of the kamikaze run was to ensure you had your eyes wide open to see at the moment of impact, so that the ghosts of your ancestors and other dead pilots would be proud of you.
Yes but the implication is that "Why wear a helmet to protect your head" well they don't. They wore flying hats to keep their heads warm and because their radios were built into them.
I was joking.....
How on earth could you draw a sword in a cocpit...I give up.
/leaves thread
Soldato
- Joined
- 2 Jun 2004
- Posts
- 18,423
Precisely my point.
They would have to stair damm hard to do that!
Turn your head a bit and you instinctively blink
Actually you're both wrong. 0 degrees celsius equals 273.15 kelvin. Assuming twice as cold is the same as half as hot, the temperature would infact be 136.575 kelvin or -136.575 degrees celsius.
Oh, and as absolute zero is -273.15 degrees C, -283 degrees C is technically impossible to reach.
PK!
Actually you're both wrong. 0 degrees celsius equals 273.15 kelvin. Assuming twice as cold is the same as half as hot, the temperature would infact be 136.575 kelvin or -136.575 degrees celsius.
Oh, and as absolute zero is -273.15 degrees C, -283 degrees C is technically impossible to reach.
PK!
i know that -283 is ~10 degrees below absolute zero. thats why i said it!
just in the same ay as "divide by zero" and such&such.
If by "Zero" you mean 'Zero degrees Celsius' then.. Zero degrees Celcius (or centigrade) is the same as 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Therefore, if you convert the temperature to Fahrenheit, and we are working on a twice (as cold) minus reduction, then tomorrow could be 16 degrees Fahrenheit?
Man of Honour
- Joined
- 27 Sep 2004
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Only OcUK could use cold logic to pick apart a list of light hearted observations.
Bunch of Spocks
I hadn't quite intended that when I posted, I expected for my post to get ignored as it wasn't "making with the funny". I didn't want to simply say that the list above was handed to Moses at the same time as the Ten Commandments so I pointed out a couple of possible reasons for why things occur. However since we are well and truly off topic now I reckon we might as well continue.
Id firstly like to make it clear i didnt do this, but:
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Sometimes, if the batteries aren’t working properly, signals don’t get sent. Pressing harder and longer can increase the chance of a successful signal
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Debt… They know at some point they can get the fee, or they can repossess and sell on your own goods to make the money.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
In case the knock their heads en route, and are unable to fly the plane to its target.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Because it’s easier to check if paint is wet ^^
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
The person who created the word probably didn’t have lisp, and was a sadistic mofo
What is the speed of darkness?
There is no physical thing known as darkness; it’s the absence of light, thus, the speed of darkness is the speed of light retreating from a location.
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
When a baby does sleep, their motor functions aren’t developed enough to move in their sleep, hence, they look peaceful.
Are there special reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?
No, disabled parking spaces still apply to disabled people going to the Special Olympics.
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
The same, you can’t have ‘twice’ or ‘half’ of zero. And the weather can’t be measured exactly in halves and trice’s
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
Time is relative, thus, when you’re enjoying yourself you don’t register the passage of time, and it may seem to drag out longer.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
We didn’t; wheels on luggage were invented between 1914 and 1920. Also, Archeological desktop studies show that several wealthy members of the public had wheeled luggage on the Titanic.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Perspective is different, and many people gain adrenaline rushes of gazing down from long distances up. Also, the time of looking through the binoculars would also be spent looking at things at the same altitude.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
Ancient times, people knew that animals gave milk to their young. Human females also breast fed for longer periods of time to ensure a healthy baby. Perhaps, when a mother died and no other female were lactating, they substituted the human for a cow (or goat, since we have goats milk. Any mammal tbh)
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Predators are known for stealing eggs and eating the contents. Humans, during long periods of winter when harvest was yet to grow, they would mimic the behavior of animals. Frying an egg probably came the same time as roasting meat.
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Perhaps they would in fact eat’em. Also, toasters can be used to warm up food when placing it above the grills, so the extra high setting would help there as well.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Generally, you stack items in a fridge in a more unorganized fashion, jars and different produce being placed about randomly. The extra shelves on the door can also confused things. Light helps. You don’t need it generally in freezers because 1) the items are placed horizontally and easy to see, and 2) you are less likely to have a midnight snack from a freezer.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Manners, and it may offend if you pointed to your bum for them. Also, time is clearly represented with the wrist, as opposed to you pointing at your bum and being confused as to you asking where there are seats.
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Courtesy, politeness and dignity. Also, many don’t, and simply preoccupy themselves with other, more important paper work whilst you’re stripping.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy is personified as a human (hence clothes and hat) yet Pluto isn’t. The creators probably wanted Goofy to be as close to humanoid as possible, hence walking on two legs. Pluto is a pet, hence four legs.
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
A quiz is an event, same as test. Quizzical is the verb, ie, ‘That is quiet quizzical’. You wouldn’t refer to a quiz and a quizzical. The verb for test is test.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Baby oil is Mineral Oil, and is only marketed towards new mothers, to promote baby soft skin. It’s also fragranced.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Electricity doesn’t come from electrons, they are interlinked as one. Morality and morons are totally different things, so nay.
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Maybe one came from the other, or one got the idea from another. It’s also a universal tune for young minds to remember.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Sure, why not. Even people who can’t read have tongues (unless they are really unlucky).
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
When you blow in a dogs face, you’re also very, very close to them, can be seen as invading their space and they will act as if you’re a threat. When they stick their heads out of the window it’s their choice, so naturally they will enjoy it.
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
No… it’s just to make yourself feel useful that your actions can make a change, rather than feeling useless. Humans hate it when they have the power of control taken from them, especially by an elevator.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Sometimes, if the batteries aren’t working properly, signals don’t get sent. Pressing harder and longer can increase the chance of a successful signal
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Debt… They know at some point they can get the fee, or they can repossess and sell on your own goods to make the money.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
In case the knock their heads en route, and are unable to fly the plane to its target.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Because it’s easier to check if paint is wet ^^
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
The person who created the word probably didn’t have lisp, and was a sadistic mofo
What is the speed of darkness?
There is no physical thing known as darkness; it’s the absence of light, thus, the speed of darkness is the speed of light retreating from a location.
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
When a baby does sleep, their motor functions aren’t developed enough to move in their sleep, hence, they look peaceful.
Are there special reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?
No, disabled parking spaces still apply to disabled people going to the Special Olympics.
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
The same, you can’t have ‘twice’ or ‘half’ of zero. And the weather can’t be measured exactly in halves and trice’s
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
Time is relative, thus, when you’re enjoying yourself you don’t register the passage of time, and it may seem to drag out longer.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
We didn’t; wheels on luggage were invented between 1914 and 1920. Also, Archeological desktop studies show that several wealthy members of the public had wheeled luggage on the Titanic.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Perspective is different, and many people gain adrenaline rushes of gazing down from long distances up. Also, the time of looking through the binoculars would also be spent looking at things at the same altitude.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
Ancient times, people knew that animals gave milk to their young. Human females also breast fed for longer periods of time to ensure a healthy baby. Perhaps, when a mother died and no other female were lactating, they substituted the human for a cow (or goat, since we have goats milk. Any mammal tbh)
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Predators are known for stealing eggs and eating the contents. Humans, during long periods of winter when harvest was yet to grow, they would mimic the behavior of animals. Frying an egg probably came the same time as roasting meat.
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Perhaps they would in fact eat’em. Also, toasters can be used to warm up food when placing it above the grills, so the extra high setting would help there as well.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Generally, you stack items in a fridge in a more unorganized fashion, jars and different produce being placed about randomly. The extra shelves on the door can also confused things. Light helps. You don’t need it generally in freezers because 1) the items are placed horizontally and easy to see, and 2) you are less likely to have a midnight snack from a freezer.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Manners, and it may offend if you pointed to your bum for them. Also, time is clearly represented with the wrist, as opposed to you pointing at your bum and being confused as to you asking where there are seats.
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Courtesy, politeness and dignity. Also, many don’t, and simply preoccupy themselves with other, more important paper work whilst you’re stripping.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy is personified as a human (hence clothes and hat) yet Pluto isn’t. The creators probably wanted Goofy to be as close to humanoid as possible, hence walking on two legs. Pluto is a pet, hence four legs.
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
A quiz is an event, same as test. Quizzical is the verb, ie, ‘That is quiet quizzical’. You wouldn’t refer to a quiz and a quizzical. The verb for test is test.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Baby oil is Mineral Oil, and is only marketed towards new mothers, to promote baby soft skin. It’s also fragranced.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Electricity doesn’t come from electrons, they are interlinked as one. Morality and morons are totally different things, so nay.
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Maybe one came from the other, or one got the idea from another. It’s also a universal tune for young minds to remember.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Sure, why not. Even people who can’t read have tongues (unless they are really unlucky).
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
When you blow in a dogs face, you’re also very, very close to them, can be seen as invading their space and they will act as if you’re a threat. When they stick their heads out of the window it’s their choice, so naturally they will enjoy it.
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
No… it’s just to make yourself feel useful that your actions can make a change, rather than feeling useless. Humans hate it when they have the power of control taken from them, especially by an elevator.