Associate
- Joined
- 4 Sep 2011
- Posts
- 596
I'm a true believer in that very statement. Let me tell you why. Ok, so I'm not the best poster in GD, not by a long shot but here goes.
Went out with a mate of mine into Manchester weekend just gone. Typical night, or so I thought.
I have no idea why and I'm still trying to get my head around it but for some reason I was drinking a lot faster than I normally do and mixing my drinks. I even ended up on wine which is something I've never done.
Obviously the result of this meant I ended up absolutely wasted. To a point where I was being physically sick. I ended up losing my mate and staying in this club on my own trying to sort myself out (and work out where said mate had gone).
At this point I hadn't pulled (of course I hadn't I was a drunken mess)!! However, I still felt dissapointed. I must add that when it comes to the female of the species I am not the best at pulling.
I can be quite witty but I usually bugger it up (in some way or another). So, I felt my night was spolit and I was angry at myself for allowing "me" to get into such a state.
Infact, I'd convined myself that had I have not been so ridiculously drunk, I would have pulled.
So, by a stroke of luck I remember where our hotel is and get a taxi there. Stagger back to our room in the hope that my mate has left before me and is in the room.
Knock on door, girl answers. Immediately I feel both confused and embarrassesd as I think I have woken up the wrong room. Hang on a min, Mate shouts me and says "Sorry bud, your beds been taken".
Looks down onto floor where makeshift bed is (just basically split bed and used matress and sheet) to find a Blonde girl in it who turns to me and says "We are going to be spooning tonight".
This has got to be a windup I'm thinking to myself. How can it be that the most hopeless man (yes me) when it comes to the opposite sex ends up with a female in his bed?
Remember, my night was a disaster up until now. Well, maybe not a disaster but I felt pretty bad. I just simply lay next to her and said "What are you doing in my bed then?"
Then I go to sleep. But, I am interuppted by that little voice in my head. It says: "Mate, are you friggin serious?!", your going to sleep?? Hello!! There is a girl, yes, a girl right next to you! Get it done lad!"
So, you know, you just move the hands around and oopppss "Sorry didn't mean to touch that"
"It's ok she replies, I like it".
Then we get down to business. Somehow, we end up in the bathroom (which is tiny) and spend what seemed ages in there (probably wasn't).
I still felt pretty sick but thank god I didn't spew up. I was really going for it. What let me down was my leg cramped up really bad and then she left because her other mate started freaking out.
At this time I was.....well.....satisfied but something told me to go out and check that they had definetly left and that my stuff was ok. What did I do? Ignore that same little voice.
Next morning, I find that my night over bag has been opened and my remaining cash has been taken (all £60 of it).
"That's an expensive taxi ride I thought". Oh, and the bit where I had to laugh to myself? I ended up with my shirt inside out and a massive rip in it where I had tried to wear it thinking they were my boxers.
Thanks for reading.
Edit: Worst guy gets sex after a long time and doesn't know how to deal with it thread ever.
Beat you to it
Went out with a mate of mine into Manchester weekend just gone. Typical night, or so I thought.
I have no idea why and I'm still trying to get my head around it but for some reason I was drinking a lot faster than I normally do and mixing my drinks. I even ended up on wine which is something I've never done.
Obviously the result of this meant I ended up absolutely wasted. To a point where I was being physically sick. I ended up losing my mate and staying in this club on my own trying to sort myself out (and work out where said mate had gone).
At this point I hadn't pulled (of course I hadn't I was a drunken mess)!! However, I still felt dissapointed. I must add that when it comes to the female of the species I am not the best at pulling.
I can be quite witty but I usually bugger it up (in some way or another). So, I felt my night was spolit and I was angry at myself for allowing "me" to get into such a state.
Infact, I'd convined myself that had I have not been so ridiculously drunk, I would have pulled.
So, by a stroke of luck I remember where our hotel is and get a taxi there. Stagger back to our room in the hope that my mate has left before me and is in the room.
Knock on door, girl answers. Immediately I feel both confused and embarrassesd as I think I have woken up the wrong room. Hang on a min, Mate shouts me and says "Sorry bud, your beds been taken".
Looks down onto floor where makeshift bed is (just basically split bed and used matress and sheet) to find a Blonde girl in it who turns to me and says "We are going to be spooning tonight".
This has got to be a windup I'm thinking to myself. How can it be that the most hopeless man (yes me) when it comes to the opposite sex ends up with a female in his bed?
Remember, my night was a disaster up until now. Well, maybe not a disaster but I felt pretty bad. I just simply lay next to her and said "What are you doing in my bed then?"
Then I go to sleep. But, I am interuppted by that little voice in my head. It says: "Mate, are you friggin serious?!", your going to sleep?? Hello!! There is a girl, yes, a girl right next to you! Get it done lad!"
So, you know, you just move the hands around and oopppss "Sorry didn't mean to touch that"
"It's ok she replies, I like it".
Then we get down to business. Somehow, we end up in the bathroom (which is tiny) and spend what seemed ages in there (probably wasn't).
I still felt pretty sick but thank god I didn't spew up. I was really going for it. What let me down was my leg cramped up really bad and then she left because her other mate started freaking out.
At this time I was.....well.....satisfied but something told me to go out and check that they had definetly left and that my stuff was ok. What did I do? Ignore that same little voice.
Next morning, I find that my night over bag has been opened and my remaining cash has been taken (all £60 of it).
"That's an expensive taxi ride I thought". Oh, and the bit where I had to laugh to myself? I ended up with my shirt inside out and a massive rip in it where I had tried to wear it thinking they were my boxers.
Thanks for reading.
Edit: Worst guy gets sex after a long time and doesn't know how to deal with it thread ever.
Beat you to it
