Sorting my brother out!!!

Shikkaka

Shikkaka

Shikkaka

Soldato
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Nottingham
Probably not the best place to ask for advice on this situation but you never know :p

My brother who is 13, has got into the habit over the last 2 or 3 months of bunking off school, my Dad heads off to work before he has to leave for school so has little power and my step Mum works shifts so isn't always about. When she is, she makes him go. I don't live with them.

A bit of background. He has been diagnosed with Dyslexia which has hit him a bit hard but he kept going to school. Shortly after this was discovered one of the teachers made a comment about his Dog being more intelligent. This hit him really hard and bought him to tears infront of us all, since that day his attitude towards going to school has changed. Now the situation with the teacher that made the comment is in hand but he still does not want to go to school. When I ask him why, he says there is no point and that is all he says.

Last weekend he said to me he is going to go to school every day this week, I found out today he isn't at school and hasn't been most days this week. I'm going round to see him tonight but am unsure what to do or say really.

When he is off school he normally just sits in his room on his Xbox or the laptop. I was thinking of taking these away from him but then he will just go out and probably end up in trouble or something.

Just stuck for ideas really. Wanna help him out but really don't know how.
 
well its upto your parents to make sure he goes to school


sounds like hes using the teachers comments as an excuse to slack off
 
TBH I think taking stuff away from him would just make him resent you and make him try to rebel, e.g. by not going to school even more. Just sit him down for a chat, try to get him to think about his future etc. although... not knowing him personally I can't say, but I don't know if a 13 y/o is likely to take that kind of thing very seriously =S
 
You shouldn't take things away from him.

If you really want to do something, make sure he goes to school. Do you live close enough to take him?

Dyslexia does not really mean you are not as smart as someone who is not dyslexic, it is more that they have an alternative way of thinking.. in some ways ie numbers they may be faster than the average person where in spelling and general grammar they could be poor.
 
JBuk said:
well its upto your parents to make sure he goes to school


sounds like hes using the teachers comments as an excuse to slack off
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Hmmm I realise that but they don't seem to be doing a good job of it. Not that they haven't tried.

Gonna ask him again, why he isn't going.
 
Read up on dyslexia and give him spades of help if he will let you. Also im not sure but I think education authorities are bound to help and student with a recognised medical condition that impairs learning. As a teenager he may object to being singled out at school if he is offered more help in lessons, name calling and such from his peers, but you can only try and help him sort the root of the problem out.

I hope the teacher gets the sack, I always got pulled up about bad handwriting and poor participation in sports and such, no body ever took any notice of the fact that I had a muscle wasting condition.
 
If you and your brother are really close, make sure what you say doesnt come across as you being against him otherwise he will possibly fall out with you. Explain to him that he needs to go, even though he doesnt want to. He will regret it in the long run. I bunked off school a lot and regret it now because my GCSEs were really poor, which is why i spent another 3 years in college making up for it....
 
Damonic said:
You shouldn't take things away from him.

If you really want to do something, make sure he goes to school. Do you live close enough to take him?

Dyslexia does not really mean you are not as smart as someone who is not dyslexic, it is more that they have an alternative way of thinking.. in some ways ie numbers they may be faster than the average person where in spelling and general grammar they could be poor.
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I would but I work and leave early too. That's part of the problem. No-one around half the time to make sure he goes...
 
Ask him where he wants to be in several years time; He can either give up on school and end up an uneducated **** with no prospects at all or work as hard as he can to prove people wrong and end up with qualifications and a chance of a decent job ...... no brainer really.

As a proviso, I would try to find out if there are any other reasons he does not want to go (bullying etc).
 
With the benefit of hindsight, I actually wish I had bunked off more. My teachers were utter asshats, and I very much doubt their abuse actually helped my education whatsoever. I genuinely think that it would have made sense to dodge high-school classes more, but take FE seriously, which in my experience was a much more mature environment and will lead to the same things (and of course doesn't require any qualifications to get started on).

Not at 13 though... I'm talking more 15-16.
 
HITMAN_LEON said:
Read up on dyslexia and give him spades of help if he will let you. Also im not sure but I think education authorities are bound to help and student with a recognised medical condition that impairs learning. As a teenager he may object to being singled out at school if he is offered more help in lessons, name calling and such from his peers, but you can only try and help him sort the root of the problem out.

I hope the teacher gets the sack, I always got pulled up about bad handwriting and poor participation in sports and such, no body ever took any notice of the fact that I had a muscle wasting condition.
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Agree with all, and yes (the brother inquestion) is entitled to specific help with learning.
He will most probably receive some bullying for being dyslexic in school but if he can get past that and go to University it is much less common there.

I have worked with Dyslexic people, most people you cannot tell are Dyslexic just by meeting them. Your brothers Dyslexia does not need to be known to other class mates/students eaither whilst still receiving help
 
My best mate has Dyslexia but he is extremely smart when it comes to electronics. He isn't as good as writting or spelling, but he is extremely brainy regarding anything electrical. Personally, I'd go down to the school, and ask to speak to the Head Master and the teacher who threw that comment. It is because of that comment that he has been put off school, or that has contributed towards it anyway.

Ask him what he is good at, and then give him some job examples he could be doing when he leaves school, or if it comes to it, tell him that if he attends a FULL WEEK at school, you'll buy him a new xBox game or something, just to atleast get him there, then you would probably find that he attends a bit more even if u dont say you'll buy him something...
 
Damonic said:
Agree with all, and yes (the brother inquestion) is entitled to specific help with learning.
He will most probably receive some bullying for being dyslexic in school but if he can get past that and go to University it is much less common there.

I have worked with Dyslexic people, most people you cannot tell are Dyslexic just by meeting them. Your brothers Dyslexia does not need to be known to other class mates/students eaither whilst still receiving help
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A couple of friends of mine who lecture are dyslexic, one is an ex US airforce pilot who retired after the first gulf war, his first tours were in Vietnam. When he retired he came to the UK and took a Bsc in communications, since then he has gained his masters while being a lecturer. It stops no body from doing anything if they get the right help and dont get put down by the people who should give them confidence (teachers) not put them down.
 
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