Space from your partner

Shikkaka · 18 Sep 2006 at 20:40

Hi all,

I can't quite believe I'm posting this crap on an internet forum but hey ho.

What's your opinions on having say a week or two away from your partner. A little time to yourselfs to reflect on the relationship.

Me and my misses havn't been as close as we previously used to be yet we spend all our time together. It's kind of a routine. Go to work, come home to her house, have some food, watch crap on tv and go to bed, and it's all getting a tad boring for me. Now I went out with my mates last Friday and again this Saturday and it opened my eyes that i might just be missing out on a few bits and bobs in life.

We have spoken tonight and I have told her I don't get the chance to miss her anymore as we spend too much time together, and have advised we need a week or two away from each other. She cannot understand the need for this.

Now I know full well she is gonna be worried sick throughout the next two weeks and it's hard for me to leave her in that state. But I just feel I need to do this for myself and the relationship.

ARGH! Confused!

helpimcrap · 18 Sep 2006 at 20:42

i felt like that tbh.... got in a rut and routine. we split up though so not a good example lol.

however if she trusts you then maybe just limit it to 3 or 4 nights a week rather than 7.

Andr3w · 18 Sep 2006 at 20:42

if its something you need to do, do it

spike's · 18 Sep 2006 at 20:43

how long have you been together?

maybe instead of spending 2 weeks apart, just change your routines a bit. like a couple of days a week you dont see each other.

Glaucus · 18 Sep 2006 at 20:43

I don't think spending a few weeks like that apart is good.

However even couples need time to themselves. If that's spending 2 nights a month out with your mates with out her/him. Or if you have a hobby that your partner isn't interested in. Then fine. I don't think its healthy spending 24/7 (apart from work) with each other..

Shikkaka · 18 Sep 2006 at 20:45

we have been together two and a half years.

There are other issues in the relationship other than this routine we have got into. Don't wish to discuss these though.

I care about her but that special feeling has vanished.

Tru · 18 Sep 2006 at 20:45

Don't spend two weeks apart, just organise a night out (without her) more regularly, get her to do the same.

ricky1981 · 18 Sep 2006 at 20:54

ignore

Shikkaka · 18 Sep 2006 at 20:58

AcidHell2 said:
I don't think spending a few weeks like that apart is good.

However even couples need time to themselves. If that's spending 2 nights a month out with your mates with out her/him. Or if you have a hobby that your partner isn't interested in. Then fine. I don't think its healthy spending 24/7 (apart from work) with each other..

going out with my mates is number one on my list now. Been neglecting them a bit so making that top priority.

Kell_ee001 · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:02

Tru said:
Don't spend two weeks apart, just organise a night out (without her) more regularly, get her to do the same.

Agreed. There has to be some kind of compromise you can make where you are both happy and neither of you are missing out.

Shikkaka · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:13

Tru said:
Don't spend two weeks apart, just organise a night out (without her) more regularly, get her to do the same.

That's the problem. She doesn't really have any friends to go out with.

It's a sad reality but I'm her best friend and her bf.

Kell_ee001 · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:16

Steameh said:
She doesn't really have any friends to go out with.

I'm sure she'd still appreciate a bit of time on her own - just don't make it 2 weeks, just a few nights out.

penski · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:17

She's ragging someone else.

*n

Tru · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:18

Steameh said:
That's the problem. She doesn't really have any friends to go out with.

It's a sad reality but I'm her best friend and her bf.

That's not unusual. How about a keep fit class or nightclass she could enrol in? She'd meet some people and get out the house, it might encourage her to socialise on her own.

Wang · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:21

penski said:
She's ragging someone else.

*n

I'm liking your new approach to relationship threads, i'm hoping that one day a real rain will come and wash these threads off the forum.

Steve09 · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:23

Whatever you do, don't make the mistake of...

"Lets have a baby, it will sort things out"

Because it never does

Nozzer · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:38

Steameh said:
Now I went out with my mates last Friday and again this Saturday and it opened my eyes that i might just be missing out on a few bits and bobs in life.

That always happens after a night out without the Mrs.

The grass is rarely greener.

dannyjo22 · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:39

Steameh said:
I care about her but that special feeling has vanished.

Its already over, how long you continue to not admit it to yourself is up to you. Your probably it sounds, more worried that she has nothing but you if you split.

Nights out with the lads are fine til the lads score and leave you high and dry

Kell_ee001 · 18 Sep 2006 at 21:47

Nozzer said:
The grass is rarely greener.

Tis true

Andybtsn · 18 Sep 2006 at 22:01

What are your future plans with your partner? I mean if your getting bored with the same routine what will happen if you go next step and move in together? Or get married? There's no escaping that...

So if your having thoughts now I'd just end it now.